Rejoice!

New blog

2009-10-21T23:58:00.001+08:00

I have moved to soonwee.blogspot.com

Irritable Mood Syndrome

2008-01-09T01:01:00.000+08:00

I am getting quite irritable these days.. Perhaps it's the proximity to the final MBBS.. Perhaps..

I don't understand many things..

I don't understand why people can't be more tolerant of each other.. I don't understand why we can't be more understanding and give in to each other..

I don't understand why we enjoy gossiping and talking behind people's backs.. and making fun of people.. And I think laughing along is equally bad.. But do I have a choice?

Of course I think it can be quite fun.. to have a good laugh and all.. I used to dislike people too.. And do nasty things to them.. like putting twisted staples on their seats.. filling the blanks on their notes with wrong words.. calling people names.. all in good fun.. but at whose expense?
And you know what? Somehow the people I dislike always turn out to be rather harmless.. and they are quite nice people actually..

Ok I am rambling.. The point I want to make is that: We should be nicer to one another. Even to people we dislike. From a non-religious viewpoint, I think every person has his good points and bad points.. I haven't known a person who is utterly evil.. If you dislike someone to the core, it may just be that you haven't discovered his good points.. Like how I have come to regret calling some people names and making fun of them..

And it just takes a bit of imagination.. How would you feel if you were on the receiving end of such treatment? I would definitely feel miserable..

And even if one really hates someone to the core, it doesn't give him any right to badmouth him and call him names, does it?

If you are a Christian and reading this, then I would like to encourage you to work hard at removing gossip and slander from your life and be a good testimony to people around you.. The bible clearly warns us of how deceitful and evil the tongue can be..

James 3:5-12 Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. 7All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. 10Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

Ephesians 4:29-5:5 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
5:1 Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. 3But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. 4Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 5For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.

James 1:26 If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.

I guess the application is clear.. If we claim that we are Christians, then we have no excuse to gossip and say bad things. If we claim we have faith and yet continue to do evil and speak evil, our faith is worthless. Our faith has failed to produce good fruit.

I struggle a lot.. Am I supposed to judge others? Can I be angry with others? After all, I am not good myself.. Who am I to judge others and say that they are wrong? Perhaps I should leave the judging to God.. Sometimes I feel compelled to just laugh along.. I guess it's the easier way out.. The harder way is to state my stand like what I am doing here, and risk straining some relationships.. And to what effect? Will people change? Will it make a difference?

In conclusion, I just feel that we shouldn't say malicious things or call people names behind their backs.. I don't think I have the courage to confront people about this.. So blogging about it is the only way.. And I definitely don't think that I am any better.. Cos we are all sinners.. And in need of God's grace and mercy. I continue to pray for you who have not come to know Christ, to accept his gift of salvation, and begin a new life in Him. =)

Wake-Up Call

2007-12-15T21:35:00.000+08:00

On another note, I was just thinking a lot about stuff these couple of days.. Yesterday I went to the Changi airport viewing gallery and spent some quiet time alone..
What led to this pensive mood was the quarrel with my mum two days ago.. It's a long story and it's not nice to wash dirty linen here.. But the thing is that I blew my top la.. I just lost it totally.. Yup good old soon wee can get angry.. I am not as nice as everyone thinks.. Ok I have to admit I think I have quite a good temper and I don't get angry easily.. Or at least I won't show my anger easily.. But I guess God is using this to show me that I am as sinful as anyone else, and not as good as I think I am.. I guess I was getting even proud of myself and judging others..
But through these 2 days of reflection, I think that I wasn't good at all.. God is showing me how sinful a person I am.. For one, on the outside, I look benign and holy-moly.. But on the inside, sinful thoughts run wild and there is a lot of buried anger and dissatisfaction.. I mean I find it easy to be a nice guy to outsiders, put on a smile, say nice things.. no vulgarities, no alcohol, no quarrels with anyone.. But at home, when there is no one to display my holiness to, at best I am indifferent to my family members or I spend a lot of time outside home and studying in school.. At worst, the anger and dissatisfaction will spill over like on Thursday..
I am also selfish, only thinking about myself and my own happiness..
I am judgmental, thinking I am a better person than so-and-so..
Petty..
Impatient..
But I think the biggest problem is still indifference.. I just don't care.. And I guess that gives people the wrong impression that I am nice.. Cos I am indifferent.. I will just try my best not to step on other people's toes.. I don't care whether they are stepping on each others' toes..
In summary, I am not a good person.. But I am glad God is showing me how rotten I am, and how in need I am of his grace and mercy.. In the past few months, I have become so complacent that I hardly pray, and when I pray, it is half-hearted.. It is as if I no longer need God's help.. that I am good enough..
I think this is the kind of discipline God is talking about in Hebrews.. I am going through all these turmoil because of God's discipline.. and because He loves me..
So I am really thankful.. And I am thankful for what happened 2 days ago.. Cos it brought me closer to God.. And a realignment of my life and my plans..
Attending today's wedding also served as an encouragement to me.. Especially when I saw Kevin's sincere words to his mum and dad.. That really touched me and reminded me of how unfilial I have been..
And it reminded me of what a Christian relationship should be like.. that it is not about 2 people madly in love with each other in oblivion to the people around them.. but a good godly Christian relationship is always outward looking and always involving the people around them..
So all in all, it was a good wake-up call, to submit to God and to ask God for forgiveness..
Anyway, after the wedding, I prayed with S and I got a box of chocolates for my mum.. Wanted to write a card.. But in the end, I think I felt too embarrassed to do so.. But the chocolates did the trick.. Or rather, I think 3 words did the trick la -- "Dui bu qi".
I thank God for giving me the courage to say "I am sorry".. And to mean it.. sometimes, it's easy to say sorry without actually meaning it.. But I think this time round, I meant it from my heart.. I truly thank God for humbling me..
I do pray that this change of heart and behaviour won't be a spur-of-the-moment knee jerk reaction.. But I will really change the way I am.. Fellow brothers and sisters, do keep me in check and keep me in prayer.. =)

A joyous occasion

2007-12-15T21:13:00.001+08:00

Today is Kevin and Carilyn's big day.. Congratulations to you two again!
It's such a joy to see people getting married.. And more so to see two fellow Christians getting hitched. And more so to be involved and helping out!
So I guess, barring my own wedding next time (Heh!), this must count as one of the more memorable weddings! For one, I was one of the brothers (xiong di) for the first time.. Thanks Kevin for asking! It definitely was fun.. Wearing blazer.. Sitting in an S-class Merc.. Going to Carilyn's place to do funny things like humming to the tune of Doraemon and making ourselves look silly.. And of course most memorable was that ice-cubed cricket thingy with wasabe that we were all supposed to eat.. That really sucks man.. But it was fun haha..
I have attended a few weddings this year.. And I guess one of the greatest things about Christian weddings is to see all the brothers and sisters working so hard to make sure everything goes on smoothly for the bride and groom. It really is the most beautiful manifestation of Christian love and fellowship. You know, now we even have a TYS (2 year series or maybe 1 year series) of emcee scripts passing around.. And some of us are seasoned wedding singers, musicians, emcees and planners! I find that really amazing.. =)
And I guess one thing that stands out from Christian weddings is that it is not only about 2 people getting married. But rather it is a display of God's work in their lives. And it is also about the people around them. The family. The fellow believers.
It is my prayer that Kevin and Carilyn will continue to encourage each other in Christ and continue to serve him as a couple! Cheers =)
Looking forward to the dinner tomorrow too...

How deep the Father's love

2007-11-16T23:36:00.001+08:00

Decided to blog cos I can't set down to studying.. Ha feel excited..

Tomorrow's my church friends' wedding (as in both the bride and groom are from my church) and some way or another, the emcee role fell on me.. It wasn't meant to be me but the original emcee couldn't make it.. And I bravely bit the bullet and agreed to it haha..

It's my first time emceeing a wedding, and furthermore it's in mandarin! So exciting! Ha.. I feel excited.. As if I am getting married haha..

Yah I am still poring through my script, and hoping I won't screw up tomorrow. I definitely wouldn't want to draw unnecessary attention to myself.. So that's why I am not exactly in the studying mood..

Speaking about studying, the stress level is slowly but surely increasing.. I am counting down already.. And for all the medicine people out there, it's going to be double digit counting down soon.. I don't feel prepared at all..

But I am thankful to God that my surgery SIP has been manageable so far and we have had the opportunity to go around seeing cases and practising our examination techniques.. Though there is not much time to read up on what we have seen..

And my thumb drive had to crash that day.. All my typed out ortho notes are inside, and I haven't backed up my files.. Hard lesson learnt.. But I am still praying that I will be able to retrieve my files.. Though 2 computer shops have pronounced the "death sentence" on my files.. But a third opinion from Nic says that there might still be hope.. so I am keeping my fingers crossed.. and meanwhile, I am backing up my files on my home desktop, my laptop and my new thumb drive.. That's called once bitten, twice shy..

Just want to share this Christian song with you, one of the songs we will be singing at the wedding tomorrow.. It reminds me of who I am as a Christian and what Jesus has done for me.. That a sinner like me has done nothing to deserve God's mercy.. Yet He has freely poured out his love unto me.. I am grateful and satisfied.. I am also thankful that even at times when I was disobedient and drew away from Him, His love doesn't fail and He continues to draw near to me.. Thank you Lord..

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Blogging

2007-06-28T21:37:00.000+08:00

Supposed to be typing my ethics case write-up.. But sigh.. great inertia.. I hate write-ups.. Really quite meaningless at times.. and quite a chore that sticks at the back of your mind.. giving you stress and preventing you from doing more important things.. Sigh...

Forgot to apologise in the previous post about the infrequency of me blogging. The reason for not blogging is multifactorial. First, no time. Second, lazy. Third, my comp likes to crank up from time to time.. and it targets certain sites like my hotmail, msn and blogger.. Fourth, just don't feel like blogging..

But the reason why this blog was set up remains the same.. It is not so much for you to find out what is happening in my life. Cos it is not that interesting anyway.. It is not an outlet for me to whine, that was for my previous blog.. I want to let you know how God is working in my life.. from day to day, in my life goals, views etc.. in the hope that perhaps, someday, you might come to know God if you haven't.. And if you are a Christian, I hope you will be encouraged by how God has and is working in my life, and perhaps you can pray for me now and then..

I wonder how many people are still reading my blog.. I know the numbers have dwindled greatly cos I blog so infrequently.. but I will still blog now and then when I feel like it, even if there is just one soul out there reading it.. hopefully, this benefits the odd non-christian who is reading this.. and I really pray for you that you will be challenged and convicted enough to go on to find out more about God and Jesus by reading the bible..

I think if you are a non-Christian, the best way to use my blog is to go back to my earlier entries and read about why I became a Christian and stuff..

Ok I better start typing my write-up! =)

Final Year

2007-06-27T22:23:00.000+08:00

Yup this is day 3 of year 5 medicine.. Happy or sad? Well.. I am ambivalent.. I don't want to be too enthusiastic and set a list of goals and targets lest I fail to meet them and become depressed.. Neither do I want to feel sad and wallow in self pity and complain about how tough year 5 will be... One step at a time.. See how things go.. After all, God is good.. I need not worry too much.. =)

Doing geriatrics at TTSH (Tan Tock Seng) now.. Geriatrics = old people.. Guess what's after 2 weeks of geriatrics? Paediatrics.. Babies and young children.. Haha.. Doing both extremes of age groups within a month.. how interesting.. How's geriatrics? Well.. not too exciting I must admit.. Everyone is just so frail and wrinkly and sickly here.. And everyone's problem list is so super long, you dunno where to start with.. Then of course, there's the language barrier (somehow, the Cantonese patients decided to admit themselves into the ward I am attached to..) And the memory problem.. Yesterday when I talked to my patient, she asked me which year of medicine I was in at least 4 times, and congratulated me for going to become a doctor the same number of times.. Ha.. And she claimed she stayed with her eldest daughter when her children said she lived alone.. Hmm..

What kind of problems do geriatrics patients have? Falls.. Incontinence (wetting of pants).. Cognitive impairment (confusion, dementia).. Instability.. and everything else that a normal adult suffers from.. But interestingly, old people do not present with the normal symptoms.. ie. they might not have chest pain during a heart attack but might instead have confusion..

I don't think I dislike geriatrics.. I think every field of medicine is important though some might not be that glamarous or exciting.. I don't mind doing geriatrics in future, just like I don't mind internal medicine, paeds, family med, emergency med or psychiatry.. Hmm..

Just some thoughts about yesterday's lecture on end of life care and how to allow patients to die with dignity and comfort.. 3 things in life are certain.. Taxes.. something which I can't remember and death.. Death is certain.. Whether or not you are good or bad.. Muslim, Christian or free-thinker.. No matter how far science can progress, and how great Man can claim to be, the fact that death will come one day humbles us.. The thought of it used to sadden me and frighten me.. I mean it is scary right.. one day you are alive with thoughts and feelings and heart beating and all and the next moment you are gone.. But if we are really gone just like that, I think our existence is really futile.. I mean what really is the point of me coming into this planet, living for 80 years and dying.. It just seems.. I dunno.. weird.. And how does Man, who thinks he is so great, live with it? By attaching some significance to it.. Accumulating wealth.. Doing good deeds.. Setting up a family.. Climbing up the social strata.. But then it all comes to naught finally right? In fact some lives end earlier and more unexpectedly than others like the 17 year-old triathlete who died 2 days ago.. If you sit down and think about it, you still end up with the same question: What is the meaning of it all?

You know where this is leading to.. You guys know me.. For an atheist who used to believe that life has no meaning and I am just born into this world to live it out and disappear into nothingness, Christianity has given new meaning and purpose.. I mean it is really comforting to know that you are made by someone up there who knows all things and made you for some purpose.. and that someone up there wants everyone to know him and love him and live the life the way he wants it to be.. I think if he wishes, he could have made us robots and made everyone submit to him.. but he made us with our own minds and able to make choices and he wants us to love him and submit to him willingly.. he wants us to make that choice and decision to love him and believe in him..

So now I know I am not some random existence.. I am made for a reason.. And how I live my life matters to the one who made me.. And I know where I will be going after I die.. And I know this life is not all that there is.. And I guess if you were to ask me what's the best manner to die, I would say it's to die knowing God and knowing that this life is not a futile and random existence.. And in fact if you believe in Jesus, then you cross over from death to eternal life and an eternal relationship with your maker..

Another post..

2007-05-22T08:56:00.000+08:00

Sorry.. for lack of a more creative title..

And so sorry for the lack of updates.. Not my fault acutally.. Was intending to blog a bit more during this electives period but my computer decided to go on strike.

Doing medicine electives now at Tan Tock Seng Hospital.. Electives has been good here. The tutors here are very nice and eager to teach.. Right from the senior consultants to the house officers.. The HOs here are very knowledgeable too and there's lots to learn from them. Actually during this medicine elective, I start to realise that I am going to be a real doctor soon.. Okay maybe not a full doctor cos a HO is basically just a clerk and odd job labourer.. But still there are more responsibilites.. Especially during night calls when it's just you and the medical officer. And patients might collapse on you any moment. And all these are going to happen in slightly less than a year's time.. if everything goes smoothly.. I feel so unprepared.

Also started thinking about what I want to do after I graduate.. I know I said before that I wanted to be a polyclinic doctor.. but nothing is cast in stone yet. Anyway for those of you who are still confused as to what the path is like for a medical student after graduation. Here's a little explanation. Cos I realised non medicine people have great difficulties understanding what I tell them.. so I always get questions like "are u working now?" and "what are u specialising in?"

As of now as medical students, we are not working and we have no pay.. From year 3 to year 5, we are attached to hospitals, rotating through all the departments including things like anesthesia, forensic pathology, obstetrics and gynecology and psychiatry. What do we do? We don't have patients under our care. We have tutors who will teach us about diseases, teach us how to take a proper history and examine the patients. They can bring us to see the patients in the clinics or wards and demonstrate some signs to us. Sometimes we approach patients at our own time and talk to them and examine them, with their permission of course. Then sometimes we are required to present the cases to our tutors.. "This is Mr so and so.. He is admitted yesterday for a right-sided blah blah.. During examination, I found a blah blah.. My provisional diagnosis is a yahdah yahdah.."

At the end of year 5, we will take the dreaded final MBBS. After which we become qualified doctors and ready to undergo the baptism of fire through one year of housemanship. I think in some countries, they call it internship. After that, we are promoted to the rank of medical officers/residents. Thereafter the rise through the ranks differs from person to person depending on what one wants to do and how good he/she is.. For guys who disrupted NS like myself, after one year of housemanship, we will be medical officers for either half a year or one year.. Then we will go back to the army to serve our remaining 2 years as army medical officers.. After which we will go back to serve out the remainder of our bond in the government hospitals..

Where does specialisation come in? During the time when we are medical officers, we can apply for specialty openings and specialist exams. So this is a supply and demand thing. Some specialties are hotter than others.. Some like internal medicine are not as popular and probably easier to get in, provided u pass your specialist exams.. So all these preparation for exams and taking of exams happen when we are medical officers in the hospitals.. If u pass the specialist exams and a hospital has an opening for that specialty and wants u, then u will become a junior specialist or what we call a registrar.. Normally by the time this happens, it would have been about 3 years already after housemanship.. This varies a great bit cos some people will take longer to pass exams.. Imagine driving test, it's something like that.. A registrar will then need to take higher exams after about 2, 3 years before becoming an associate consultant, then consultant then senior consultant..

So if u don't want to specialise? Actually there might be no such option.. Even if u decide to become a GP, in the past u can just leave the hospitals after finishing your bond and become a GP, but now u have to have a specialist degree in family medicine before u are qualified to be a GP..

Yup, that's what our career paths are like.. what I will be trapped in for the next 10 years or so.. Actually it's the same everywhere.. Just that in the medical profession, it's much more structured and there are really not many options, it's either National Health Group or Singhealth or the private sector..

What am I going to become? I only know I will most probably not be a surgeon, so that excludes surgery, orthopaedics, obs and gynae, ear nose throat (ENT).. =)

A Post!

2007-03-22T12:16:00.000+08:00

Oh dear.. It has been 2 months and a week since I last blogged!

It has been a really busy 2 months. Orthopaedics posting went well. Then studying for patho exams.. In between lots of ministry stuff to do at church. Bible studies.. Talking and building relationships with group members. Ministry is tough.

But God's word is always good. Luke 10:41 "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered,"you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." Context of this is that Martha was busy preparing for Jesus' meal and stuff, while Mary sat at Jesus feet listening to him. And Martha had lamented about Mary not helping her, and even expressed dissatisfaction and unhappiness with Jesus. I think it's just so easy to suffer from the "Martha" syndrome.. Oh it's not fair, Lord, why do I have so many things to do? Why are people not appreciative? Why is life so hard? Why is medicine school so competitive and stressful? But Jesus' reply is simple. Just sit at his feet and listen to his word. What does it mean for us? It means we got to have a healthy relationship with him. And like all earthly relationships, it can only be sustained through communication. And communication with God? Hearing him through his word, the bible. Talking to him through prayers. I really need to put on the "Mary" attitude and come to God daily..

Last night's evening expositions by David Jackman was really good. Haven't felt so rejuvenated after a sermon for some time.. Will blog about it some other time.

Holidays are here! Rejoice.. Relax.. Refuel.. =)

Inspired

2007-01-16T22:43:00.000+08:00

After so many postings, I finally got a good mentor!
Really so thankful to have such a good and willing-to-teach tutor for my orthopaedics posting. Especially since the programme at SGH isn't that fantastic, to say the least.
I am so glad I am no longer just a fly on the wall in the clinic. I feel involved in the proceedings. He bothers to teach me whatever is relevant, tell me about the cases. He lets me examine the patients. Even allows me to clerk the new cases and write in the case files. Actually at times, I was actually running the clinic heh..
Yup it's really so important to have a good tutor to guide you in your learning, to pique your interest in the subject and to motivate you to read up on the topics.
Yah and not to forget, he is nice to his patients too!
So for once, I feel inspired and motivated!

Meaningful Sunday

2007-01-14T17:22:00.000+08:00

I feel super encouraged today! Really, I think God's word is so powerful, so rich..

Led the second Just Looking study today. Just Looking is a series of 7 studies looking at the gospel of John. It is tailored for newcomers. So anyone new in PUNJ, whether Christian or non-Christian, will go through the series. Anyway, while I was preparing for the study, John 3:1-21, I already knew that it was a super difficult study. At the same time, I think it is one of the most powerful passages in the bible.

Coincidentally, I began my Christian walk in PUNJ with JL2. Yup I remembered I could not make it for JL1 and HL had to call and check on me to see if I was still coming for JL. But while I was preparing for John 3, it felt really different reading it now compared to 2+ years ago. I guess back then, it didn't really sink in. But meditating upon it these past few days, instead of having the "yah I already know all this" feeling, I feel surprisingly enriched. I felt that God's word is really powerful.

Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again." And he reiterated,"I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit."

Very short, succinct sentences but they contain a whole lot of truth and meaning. Why does one need to be born again? Why does one need to be born of water? It says a lot about our initial state as human beings, right? If we are already perfect, why do we need to be born again? It's precisely because we were sinful in our ways, rejecting God and shaking our fists at Him, that we were unclean and totally unworthy and not good enough to enter the kingdom of God that Jesus says that we need to be born again. We need to be cleansed. We need to have a new heart, a new spirit.

Our first birth is physical. Everyone goes through our mothers' wombs and came into this physical world. After a while, we will pass away and leave this world. Jesus here offers us a new birth, a spiritual rebirth. Through this spiritual rebirth, we are then deemed worthy to enter the kingdom of God. In contrast to the physical birth which inevitably results in death, this spiritual birth leads to eternal life.

How then can we be born again? How can we be born of water and the Spirit?

"... so the Son of Man (Jesus) must be lifted up, that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life."
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

If the bible is to be believed, the only way into the kingdom of God, the only way to be born again of the Spirit is through Jesus Christ, through believing in him. Believing in him = Believing specifically in the work he has accomplished on the cross for us, his death and resurrection. And it is very much a personal decision. No one can make the decision for you.

Christianity is simple. No list of do's and don'ts. No list of criteria you have to meet. Just plain belief and trust in Jesus' work on the cross. And recognising your sin.

Christianity is difficult. Because of ourselves. Our intellect gets in the way. We are too clever for our own good. Our pride gets in the way. Our circumstances get in the way. Life is too good, I don't need Jesus. Life is so bad, how can a good God allow my life to be so bad? 1001 obstacles stand between us and Jesus. If only you make that giant leap of faith, and allow God to guide you, you will definitely come to have a personal relationship with God.

And yup I am thoroughly encouraged by the people who came to JL today.. Especially the 2 prebelievers who were really "just looking". Both are foreign students studying in a private school here and will take their O levels as private candidates. One came from China, the other from Vietnam. Despite the language barrier, they were really keen to find out more about Christ.. Besides the language difficulties, they are in a foreign land, they have no friends or family here, they hardly know anyone in church, they have had no prior knowledge of the bible.. Yet with child-like faith and an open mind, they are keen to seek.. and I am sure they will find.

Luke 11:9-10 Jesus says,"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."

2006/2007

2006-12-31T16:19:00.000+08:00

It's the last day of 2006! (or rather the first day of 2007 since I din manage to complete typing this post last year)

Actually it's just another day in the calendar, just like birthdays or other holidays.. I guess it just gives us a reason to celebrate. And it does give us a reason to reflect upon the year that has passed.

Is it a good year for me? Well.. I can say that it has been generally good. I think I have grown spiritually over the year.. I think I am a more mature person. Good things happened.. I got closer to some friends.. I definitely am more active in PUNJ. And the fellowship in PUNJ has helped me a great deal in many ways.. I felt that I was not alone in my Christian walk. I learned much more about God's word. I learned to be obedient to God.

In med school, I think I am much more settled this year compared to the last.. I am a bit more comfortable with talking to patients and presenting cases to doctors.. I am a bit more "on the ball" about medicine on the whole.. In terms of reading up, in terms of clerking patients and attending clinics. I guess I still lag behind many of my peers in terms of enthusiasm for my studies and my career. To me, it is still very much about passing tests and getting through every posting smoothly and ultimately passing my final MBBS. Truthfully, I haven't given much thought to what comes after.. I told many people that I am content just being a polyclinic doctor. But I know very well that I have to be more driven.. Not to be content with just being a polyclinic doctor.. But really to work hard towards being a good doctor, be it in general practice, be it surgery, be it obs and gynae.. So perhaps, you can pray for me about this. And to give glory to God in whatever field of medicine I end up in.. And yes including ophthalmology.. =P

And yah I do need to settle my electives soon.. Still feeling a lot of inertia. Perhaps I will fail O&G and don't have to worry about electives.. haha.. See? You do have to pray for me to work hard and be more "on the ball"!

Relationships wise.. I guess I do have to work a bit harder too.. I need to love my parents more.. show them more concern.. be a more filial son.. Sometimes, I do take them for granted and overlook the numerous sacrifices they have made to see me through med school.. I guess I would have liked to grow up in a more conducive environment.. But I can't choose such things.. I can't determine the upbringing of my parents. I can't really criticise the way they have brought me up.. Cos I turned out fine! Hahaha!! But seriously, I do need to work on my relationship with my parents, cos at times, it's really hard to love them.. So pray for me too!

In recent months, I think I may have soured a few friendships.. But hopefully there were no hard feelings.. I always thought I am quite a patient person, tolerant and easy-going.. I guess this year, God reminded me that I was not as good as I thought myself to be.. That I still have a lot to learn, to obey him, to be a better person.. Sometimes, I tend to judge other people.. I become disappointed.. I become frustrated and angry.. And I become angry with myself too.. Cos I know it is wrong to judge other people.. I am not that good myself.. Who am I to judge them? Yah, so I do need to calm down at times.. I need to be less self-righteous.. And humble myself before God..

In terms of a dating relationship.. Am I allowed to talk about it here? I guess it is something which will continue to bother me for some time.. In this area, I will just say that it has been a steep learning curve for me.. At least, I am starting to think about what a Christian relationship should be like.. And what the aim of a relationship should be.. I think what differentiates a Christian r/s from a non-Christian one is that the ultimate and underlying aim is to honour God.. I guess with that in mind, what constitutes a successful or a failed relationship becomes slightly different.. Whether or not it results in a steady relationship or marriage becomes of second importance to wanting to honour God and to serve Him regardless of the outcome of the relationship. Is that too challenging? Ha.. I do find it rather challenging..

Having witnessed the wedding of HL and LC, I really think it takes a lot for a couple to come together.. And it is no less than God's love and God's will that 2 persons of different backgrounds, personalities and habits will come to like each other, to work out their differences and finally to decide to spend the rest of their earthly lives together.

For myself, I really wonder what God's will for me is.. Sometimes, I feel that perhaps I could serve God better as a single person.. But I don't know.. I really need to trust God more in this area of my life and not allow myself to be overly distracted from other equally important (I won't say more important cos I think this is rather important too.. heh..) things in my life. But I know that whether or not I remain single or get married in future, the aim is still to serve God and to worship Him..

Well, 2006 ended on a fun note! I learned 2 things today!
1. I learned what a HIP HOP JELLY ice-cream is.. It's super cool la.. It's wobbly.. and I think the name suits it.. It's cool and hip-hop haha! But I found out that the ice-cream had already been in the market for some time.. Even my mum knows.. She calls it the she tou (tongue) ice-cream.. I guess it does look like a tongue from certain angles.. I probably will be eating the she tou/hip hop jelly quite frequently this year haha!

2. I learned how to roller blade!! In 1 hour flat.. I am a fast learner! Have been wanting to learn rollerblading for some time, but always paiseh to ask people to teach me.. Supposed to play frisbee in the morning with the PUNJers today, but too few people turned up, so we ended up cycling and blading.. Blading is fun! Heh.. Just that I still do not know how to go down slope safely and to stop safely..

I think learning to rollerblade or to cycle is a lot like life isn't it? I know this sounds cliched but while I was blading, I really felt that it reflects life in some ways.. Well, when you rollerblade, if you are overly cautious, you can't move very much forward.. You can't move very fast either.. Of course, if you are too ambitious like me.. You learn it the hard way la.. You keep falling and bruising yourself.. But that's how we learn right? We fall and get up. Fall and get up.. After a while you get used to falling.. And after a while you get used to not falling.. And you will be blading.

I guess I need to practise that in 2007.. Rollerblading.. And learning to fall in life.. Every year we will set new year resolutions like I will be a better person, that things will occur smoothly.. stuff like that. But we forget that failures are part and parcel of life! Year in, year out, we will encounter setbacks.. So this year, I want to learn how to fall.. And to learn to get up..

I want to trust God and obey Him..

So take my life,
transform, renew and change me.
That I might be a living sacrifice.

Happy 2007, Guys! =)

Suffering

2006-12-23T16:53:00.000+08:00

I think most of us struggle in life at one point or another.. Whether you are rich or poor.. Christian or non-Christian.. I think some people have the idea that once you become a Christian, life will suddenly become a bed of roses. No more sickness, no more broken relationships, no more financial hardship.. Well, I guess it is evident that that is not the case.. Although Christians do have reason to rejoice and be encouraged even in times of suffering.

Why is there suffering? I think the simple straight forward answer is Man. Man is the cause of suffering, since the time of Adam and Eve. Because Man is imperfect and always falls into sin.. So long as imperfect Man exists, I think there will always be suffering..

The more "cheem" answer would be God.. Again, there are beliefs that God is this happy, go-lucky fella who loves everyone and everything.. And there are people who think that if God is perfect and good, there cannot be suffering. And there are thoughts that suffering is not from God, only the good stuff are from God.. Well, I am not a theologian. But God is in control of everything in the world, so suffering is also from God, and He does allow suffering to take place. It would be too simplistic a view to say that all the good things come from God, and all the bad stuff are not within His control.

Yes, God is loving and good. But he is perfect and holy. He cannot pretend that Man is good. He cannot overlook the wrongs that Man has done. So a perfect and loving God can still punish Man for his sins and allow suffering to occur just like how a good father will not spare his insolent son the rod.. Having said that, not all suffering is a punishment from God..

And of course sometimes God just allows suffering to take place. And we will not know why. Cos we are not God and have no business to question His ways.

I guess this topic sprang into mind some time back when many people around me were facing problems and difficulties.. Broken relationships, study/work stress, bereavements, illnesses, or sometimes just pure "sianness" and lack of direction in life.. I think it is hard to say which problem is worse than which, cos at that particular point when that person is going through something even as mundane as work stress, it can be particularly bad and distressing to him..

I don't really know how to encourage those who are suffering right now.. I guess for myself, it is a lot easier to grapple with these issues because I believe that God is in control.. When I was a non-Christian, I had to depend a lot on myself to deal with failures and disappointments.. I had to turn my focus to another thing and try to forget about the problem.. I could pour out my troubles to a friend who is willing to listen.. I could just pull through with sheer grit.. I could just allow time to pass and mend the wounds..

Having come to know Jesus, I feel that a lot of things can be put in perspective.. My sis is going through quite a bit at the moment, struggling with some major decisions, so I thought of some of the following:
1. Suffering is from God. As above. I guess it can be an encouragement for us who believe in Jesus Christ. Cos God who is perfect, is in control so there really isn't anything to worry about. And nothing much you can do about it anyway. I just have to trust that He being perfect, knows what He is doing.

2. Suffering has a purpose. God put suffering into Christians' lives for a purpose. One of my favourite verses in the bible Romans 5:3-4 "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance; character; and character, hope." It is only through trials that our faith in God is tested. So that if we persevere in our faith and trust in Christ, and persevere in holding on to what we believe and continue to obey Him, God will mould our character and make us mature as Christians.

3. Suffering on the cross. I don't really know how to put this. But sometimes, we just need to turn to the cross and understand how Christ's death on the cross has redeemed us and made us right with God. And this really makes what we are going through insignificant. I mean God has already saved us. If we truly are Christians. that should be our greatest comfort. So what if we fail a certain posting? So what if our business failed? Of course sometimes, this is easier said than done..

4. Suffering in hope. For those who are suffering almost everyday, facing persecution, starving, facing disasters, the bible promises the second coming of Jesus when everything will be renewed and God's people will be in God's place, a new heaven and a new earth under God's perfect rule. This is a certain hope. It is a hope in the sense that it has not arrived. But this hope is certain because God has promised it. On that day, there will be no more suffering for God's people. For those that are suffering and there seems no respite or end in sight, they can be assured of this hope..

So Christians do suffer.. We do have problems.. We do continue to fall into sin.. But we have a greater someone above who knows us and loves us.. We might not know every time why some things occur but we know that they occur according to His plans and for our own good. I don't think it is self-deceiving or self-motivating. But if we know our God, we can be assured of these things. And every time we get entrapped in a problem, we just keep going back to God in prayer and ask Him to help us and to guide us and comfort us. For me, that keeps me going in life and waking up every morning with renewed vigour.

Deezee Soon Wee

2006-12-18T10:37:00.000+08:00

For lack of a better title to start off this post..
This will set of a series of ramblings and reflections.. Guess I just needed an avenue to talk about my life.. Some self-reflections and thinking aloud of the year that has almost passed.. For the few of you who bother to know.. Haha..

Emotionally, I guess this has been one of the better years.. I think I have been a happier person generally, though at various times (and like all other people), I lapse into periods of depression (in the layman definition of the word), uncertainty and pessimism. I thank God for this because a large part of this emotional stability can be attributed to a better knowledge of Him and coming to understand better His plans and purposes for me..

Glad to say too that I have grown and matured as a Christian this year.. Seeing things in the right perspective and setting my priorites right most of the time. Thank God for that too.. At the same time, still learning to depend on God for many many things in my life.

Perhaps part of this growth can be attributed to the acute awareness of the greater responsibilities I will be undertaking soon in the youth ministry (PUNJ). In Christian circles, we often use this word ministry.. Not quite the government sort of ministries like finance, health etc.. Ministry, if I am not wrong, means serving.. There are different ways of serving like music, leading bible studies, selling books at bookends, PA system etc..

Anyway, serving is part and parcel of being a Christian.. Not that it is a prerequisite or requirement.. But having received God's love so freely, we should show our love to fellow Christians and to God by serving in church.

When Roger approached me to join the PLT (potential leaders' training) course this year, I was quite apprehensive. I wasn't really sure whether I was ready to lead bible studies and be in charge of a group. To start with, I haven't been a very confident person all my life. In front of a crowd, I will often lose my cool and be all jittery and nervous.. At the same time, I was unable to translate my thoughts into words very efficiently.. I am also overly aware of my actions and words at times, and that prevents me from relating to people very well.. And of course, in terms of time, I am a relatively young Christian and wasn't fully confident of my bible knowledge either..

Yet at the same time, I felt that it was time to step forward to serve in PUNJ. Being in PUNJ for 2 years, I haven't done or contributed much except for being present during bible studies and helping with a few odds and ends.. Interestingly, I had prayed about serving in some capacity at the start of this year. So in a way, God has heard my prayers and given me the opportunity to serve in PUNJ.. So despite this extreme lack of confidence, I allowed myself to be led into this, only trusting in God's assessment of me and His plans for me..

But I must say attending PLT and CLOBS have been very enriching and fruitful and I have grown a lot during these few months.. Apart from being equipped with God's word and learning how to effectively lead a bible study, I am thoroughly encouraged and motivated by the people I met.. Who put so much energies and efforts into serving in church despite their busy schedules.. Who show genuine love for fellow Christians.. Who show real concern for the lives of their group members.. I was really touched and encouraged in these few months. I know that when I face tough times in future, I have no lack of role models to emulate..

I guess I will need to continue to depend on God and pray that He will help me as I make this transition from member to leader..

My most memorable marathon

2006-12-04T00:19:00.000+08:00

These are Soon Wee's top ten tips for running your most memorable marathon.
1. Training. Adequate amount of training is the most important. Running twice a week might be sufficient.. So that you don't get too burnt out on race day..

2. It would also be nice to run a marathon in the midst of a nice relaxing posting like O&G.. so that while training for the marathon whenever you can, you don't have to think too much about settling mini-cexes and write-ups and SOPs.

3. Eat well before the race. Make sure you eat lots of junk like chicken wings, fried bee hoon, durian puffs, otak etc.. Then you can be sure that your bowels will be well worked out..

4. Sleep well. Make sure you have adequate rest. That means at least 6 hours of sleep.. That means you sleep at 12am and wake up at 545am in time to make the starting line at 6am.

5. Punctuality. Punctuality is the key if you want to get a good starting position. But nowadays it's fashionable to be late. Starting at 615am when all the rest have started running at 6am will be a good time to aim for. Then at least you wont have to jostle with hundreds of smelly bodies.

6. In case you are really running late, it will be nice to have a powerful car with lots of horsepower and acceleration to bring you to your starting line.. A Hyundai Matrix is not bad for a start.

7. A warm-up before the start of the race is mandatory.. A 500 metre sprint to the starting line to explain to the officials why you are late and to plead with them to let you start running would be the best way to warm up your muscles..

8. Be sure to skip your breakfast so that you can make your money worth by having a concoction of bananas, power gels, water and energy drinks along the way.

9. To top it off, you might as well don't clear your bowels in the morning before the race because you can make full use of the numerous "pit-stops" throughout the race. Having a 5-minute pit-stop and a nice watery diarrhoea is the best way to relax your perineal muscles and to cool down your aching calves and thighs.. You can be sure you will be all raring to go after your nice little pit-stop.

10. But at the end of it all, smile always, especially in front of cameras and cheerleaders!

Love

2006-11-15T23:04:00.000+08:00

What does it mean to love someone? This has been a question that has bugged me over the course of these couple of months. And coincidentally or perhaps intentionally by God's grace, I have been forced to ponder over it during the Luke bible studies and more recently, the sermons on 1 John.

If you are expecting a blog post about romantic love, I am sorry to disappoint you.. Haha..

It really is so hard to love people at times. And thinking about it, sometimes we are just all wired so differently that inevitably, we step on the toes of each other sometimes unknowingly. We have our own opinions and values and we judge others based on those. At the same time, other people judge us based on their values. But in a way, it really explains how sinful we are and what a fallen world we live in.. That is probably why it is so hard to love people at times.

It probably isn't hard to love the people you want to love. Or people who do good to you or treat you well. In the earlier stages of a relationship, it probably won't be very hard for a couple to love one another no matter how irksome the other party may be.. Such is the selfish nature of man that we love only on the pretext that it will be reciprocated or that we love only those who love us.. And sometimes we don't even love those who love us..

As a Christian, I am always challenged by God's high standards of love for us.. In Luke 6:27-28, Jesus said, "But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you." Then he said something that was most funny, "If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also." I read this when I was a non-Christian and I found it most amusing and unbelievable. How in the world do you continue to love this person who strikes you on your cheek? And continue to bless him and pray for him.. It was something that struck me about the Christian faith and it probably was one of the factors that led to my conversion.

God calls all Christians to a radical, out-of-the-world kind of love that will shock everybody. I think that is what Jesus was saying when he asks us to turn the other cheek. However, it doesn't mean that Christians are meant to be pushed around and bullied. We are not doormats to be stepped upon (in the words of YG). In a way, being bullied and giving in to everything and anything probably doesn't necessarily mean that one is being loving. Sometimes one can just not be bothered to retaliate and continue to harbour hateful thoughts. This is not Christian love at all. The radical love that God calls us to involves a peace of heart and gentleness that will be evident to all. Even in the face of persecution and hatred, we are called to be understanding, to forgive and to love our enemies.

Putting this into practice isn't easy.. After all we are sinful people, even Christians.. I am really challenged to put it into practice.. Yet sometimes, I continue to be frustrated and I fail to carry out God's commands.. And yet at times, it is not clear cut whether a particular act is loving or stumbling to other people; being gentle or being a pushover.. And I continue to examine my motives for certain acts.. My interests or other people's interests? God's interests? And I continue to learn and be disciplined by God's word.

And indeed, despite the incredibility to love everyone and everytime and the impossibility of the task entrusted to each and everyone of God's children, I know that I am not without help or hope. God's word will continue to guide me in my words and actions as long as I continue to obey him and love him. And as Christians, we need no further motivation to love other people.. Because God has already shown to us what it really means to love by sending his son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for us. Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Christ died not for people who love him. He died for his enemies - us, who hated him and rejected him. This is true love (however cliched this might sound).

As Christians, we are a forgiven people. We ought to love much because we have been forgiven much. May God continue to guide us and help us love the people around us, no matter how hard it is and how unwilling we are! =)

Who is Jesus?

2006-10-17T21:18:00.000+08:00

Who is Jesus? I think at the heart of Christianity, and the most important question before we even come to believe in him, will be this: Who is he?

One of Jesus' biggest claims is this: he is the son of God. He was sent by His Father above. If anyone made those claims today, you can be sure he will be sent to IMH in no time. So what credentials does Jesus have in saying those loaded words and claims? Why are so many people convinced that he is God, not a lunatic? Or are we deluded and deceived?

In Luke chapter 3, some of those credentials were being recorded for us.
- 3:22 The Holy Spirit descended on him in bodily form like a dove.
- and a voice came from heaven: "You are my son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased."
- 3:23-38 tracing his genealogy, Jesus was a descendent of David, of Abraham, of Adam and ultimately of God.
- 4:1-13 Jesus was the only person who resisted the temptations of Satan in the desert. He was perfect and sinless.

Why was Jesus sent to earth? What was his mission?
Jesus stated his mission explicitly in Luke chapter 4 that he was anointed by God to preach good news to the poor, to proclaim freedom for the prisoners, recovery of sight for the blind and to release the oppressed. In the Old Testament, the prophets have talked about such a person coming to bring freedom to God's people and Jesus is saying here that he is the one that fulfils the Old Testament prophecies.

It is interesting to note that Jesus came to proclaim freedom for the poor, the prisoners, the blind and the oppressed. It is unlikely that he meant these solely literally or many of us would not have been saved. But rather, the point here, and later in other parts of Luke, is that only those people who recognised their sinfulness and their need to be saved would respond to his offer of salvation and freedom. In addition to the physical freedom from poverty, illness and oppression that he claimed to bring, the underlying mission is to bring spiritual freedom from the bondage of sin which we are all under.

Despite his preaching of this good news, Jesus himself knew that many would come to reject him and his message, even among his own people, the Jews. Many would ask for him to perform miracles and signs, and yet many would not believe.

Isn't this true for us today? In the face of such good news, we choose to continue to give ourselves excuses and reasons why we cannot believe. We continue to ask for signs and miracles and choose to disbelieve when there are none of those. We choose to believe in these acts of miracles rather than in the person of Jesus Christ. We continue to doubt and question and ask for more evidence for his existence. And yet there are people, when thrown with all the evidence and proof, will choose to reject him..

My point is simple. God sent his son Jesus down only once to offer freedom and salvation to all who choose to hear him. And fortunately for us, this was recorded in the 4 gospels by his disciples. When we want to find out who Jesus is and what he came to do, we can look no further than the 4 gospels in the bible. There is no way for us to look elsewhere for answers or to look internally for our own human wisdom and understanding to decipher this mystery. Which is in fact no mystery at all..

The best season in life

2006-10-07T13:39:00.000+08:00

This is a sermon I typed out from about 2 weeks ago. I thought it was a pretty good sermon to share with you, especially for non-Christians, and it is one of the rare few sermons by Pastor Chris that are simple and short enough to be typed out and easier to understand for the uninitiated.

1 Thessalonians chapter 1, verses 8 to 10:
The Lord's message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia—your faith in God has become known everywhere. Therefore we do not need to say anything about it, for they themselves report what kind of reception you gave us. They tell how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God, and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead—Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath.

Pastor Chris:
"Life is about seasons. Good and bad seasons. Up and down seasons.

Here is an account of Christianity in Singapore. Story is about the Anglican bishop of Singapore called John Leonard Wilson during World War II in the 1940s. Bishop Wilson was jailed with 3000 others in Changi Prison by the Japanese. Once he was accused along with 56 others of plotting against the Japanese. So they were questioned and interrogated. He was kicked, punched, lashed and whipped 300 times until there was no more skin on his legs.

World War II ended. The prisoners were released. 2 years after the war ended, Bishop Wilson was conducting a baptism at the cathedral in town. From the corner of his eye, he saw this person come forward. He saw one of the Japanese officers who had tortured him come forward for baptism. Here are the words of Bishop Wilson,"I have seldom seen such great a change in a man."A person who was full of hatred and violence who lashed him and whipped him was now coming to him as a Christian, a convert to be baptised.

The best season in life for us is usually when something bad has ended. The best season is when something good has started. The message of Christianity is about the best season in life. Why so? Because our season of war with God has ended and our season of peace with God has begun. And how has that come about? It has come about because God has sent his son Jesus to die on the cross for us.

And this best season leads to changed people. And the truly changed people are believers in Jesus Christ. The believer in Jesus Christ has 3 main changes in his life.

Firstly, 1 Thessalonians chapter 1 verse 9: "They tell how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God.." The first change is that we have "turned". The word "turn" means conversion. It means a decisive break from idols. And we ask: what is the difference between idols and the living and true God? And many of us who grow up like me in a multireligious setting may not know the difference.

It is a bit like this. You want to go buy a television set. Which should you choose? Samsung, LG, Sony. You want to buy a car. Hyundai, Kia, Toyota. There is no difference or not much difference. It is just a price difference or quality difference. Because at the end of the day, if you really think about it, it is simply a car. It is simply a televison set. But what Paul says here is different. He says it is not the same between idols and God. Idols are dead; God is living. Idols are false; God is real. Idols are human creations; God is the creator, the creator of the universe and the creator of you and me. There is a big difference. The first change in the believer is a decisive break from idols.

One of my relatives is now in his 70s. When he was younger, he was known to be rich, a playboy. He gambled. And he went from one place to another to pray, praying in Malaysia, praying in Thailand, praying anywhere he could find powerful idols. Then by God's grace, somebody shared Jesus with him. He believed and he got converted. You know how this relative now in his 70s now spends his days? He spends his days telling his friends over coffee, over tea, over meals, lunch and dinner, telling them,"Don't waste your time. Idols don't work." It is not that he is rude. But he has experienced being under the bondage , the slavery, the prison of believing in idols. And now he knows the difference between idols and God , and knowing this God personally.

Believers in Christ are people who have done a U-turn in their lives. We are previously going in one direction. We now realised our mistake and do a U-turn. We have turned from false gods and false hopes to the true and living God.

And we must say that an idol is anyone or anything who takes our right love and loyalty away from God. So some modern day idols, some modern day unseen idols could be obsession with money, obsession with sex, obsession with power, obsession with fame. Believers in Christ have made a decisive break from that. He (Paul) now says they have turned from that and turned to what? We turn to an active service of the true and living God.

So believers in Christ are not just U-turners, but we are servants of God. We are no longer servants of dead idols. We are no longer servants of ourselves as little gods.

Last week, our church ARPC took part in a national movement and the person who came was Richard Khalil as part of the Yellow Ribbon Project. The purpose of the Yeloow Ribbon Project is to help former drug addicts and former convicts assimilate into society. Many people came up to me after the service and said that Richard Khalil who shared about his former background and now his conversion and new life is very brave. Not easy to stand in front of people and tell them about your past, your sinful past.

Every single person who comes today for baptism or transfers (church was conducting baptisms and transfers that day) is saying to you: we all have a past. The past was when we served ourselves. And now we are servants of God.

Once I was talking to a parent whose son was on drugs. And he sadly said that his son was still on drugs. And I asked him,"What do you think is keeping him on the drugs?" And he said without hesitating,"It's just his selfishness. It's all about himself."

You know we have an advertisement on our television which basically ask how much do drugs cost. And basically it says taking drugs cost your job, your friends, your family and your life. The actual price of 1 shot may be 60 dollars, 80 dollars. I am not sure, I don't know. The price of it may be 60, 80, 100 dollars per shot but the cost of it is your family, your friends, your job, your life.

And so believers in Christ are saying: we have had enough of that (serving idols and serving ourselves). We are now no longer serving ourselves, we are no longer serving idols. We are serving the living and the true God.

There is a final change in the believer. And the final change is in verse 10: "to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead - Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath." Christians are not just servants of God, we are also "waiters". I do not mean waiters in a restaurant serving food but Christians and believers who patiently wait for Jesus to return. And Paul tells us 2 things about this Jesus who will return.

This son who will return was raised from the dead. Friends, let me ask you, have you met anybody last week who came back from the dead? I don't think so, right? Cos when you and I go to funerals, you expect to bury them, you expect to cremate them. They do not return from the dead. Paul tells us that Jesus is the one whom God has raised from the dead, which tells us that Jesus is the head of a new human race. He is the head of a new human race free from the power of sin, free from the power of death. This man does not die.

Second thing we need to know about Jesus is that he will rescue us from the coming wrath. Friends, how do you feel this Sunday morning? Some may be cold because of the air-conditioning. Some may be hungry because you didn't prepare in time to come here. You missed breakfast. I do not know how you feel this morning. But do you feel or think that God could be possibly angry with you? Do you realise that there is a possibility that God's wrath is upon you and me? The bible tells us that that is the case whether we feel it or not. And Jesus is the only person, it is called here, he is the only saviour who can rescue us from God's anger and God's rightful wrath.

We now live in the best season of human history. Why? We live in the best season of human history because God is offering us a rescue from our sin and from his wrath. And the rescue plan is Jesus as saviour and Lord.

People who believe in Jesus experience change in 3 ways. Firstly, a decisive break from the past idolatry. We turn from idols. Secondly, it is the present experience of serving God, no longer serving selves and serving idols. And thirdly, the 3rd change in the believer is a patient look to the future when Jesus will surely return. We are "waiters". That is why this is the best season of life necause it is the only time left for us to respond to God's offer of salvation.

May you come to believe in the Lord Jesus and experience this best season of your life for all eternity with God."

To listen or watch the sermon, go to http://www.arpc.net/sermons/index2006.htm, God for all seasons, Sep 24 2006, A Season for Retirees (wrong title I think)

Rambling on..

2006-09-25T00:14:00.000+08:00

Tired.. that is one word which best describes my weekend.. helped organise a farewell party for 2 PUNJ friends who are leaving for overseas studies and exchange.. there was more than enough food fortunately.. and pretty good food too! there was shepherd's pie, bee hoon, fried rice, otak, chicken wings, pasta and lots more.. good fellowship with the PUNJers at HL's house.. just that the fatigue was getting a bit to me. then went home and caught the manu-reading game and regretted staying up till 2 am.. seems like i am a jinx to them.. whenever I watch manu play, they will either lose or draw.. sigh.. today's tuition was rather draining too.. had lunch with my sec 1 kid.. then had to go Popular buy a book cos had no papers to go through with him.. can't believe that he is doing O level standard biology at sec 1.. but at least he was responsive and eager to learn.

Happy.. today's service was very good.. sermon was short and simple, nothing fanciful, but very good for pre-believers.. I might type it out or something.. but this was the first time we had english and mandarin service together cos the mandarin ministry's people were joining us.. so quite interesting.. I thought bible reading and singing worship songs in mandarin was kind of interesting.. haha maybe join mandarin ministry in future.. lol.. but the amazing thing about today's service is the amount of people coming for baptisms and cofirmations and tranfers.. so encouraging to see so many people coming to ARPC and accepting Christ in their lives..
Happy for a friend too that she had accepted Christ as her Lord and saviour.. that makes it 3 friends whom I know have come to accept Christ this year.. so amazing.. sometimes I feel it's just so difficult to talk to people about Christ and telling them that they need Christ in their lives.. but God makes it so easy.. God will always find a way to find His own children..

Baptism of repentence

2006-09-16T11:29:00.000+08:00

In Luke 3:1-20, John the baptist came to preach a baptism of repentence for the forgiveness of sins. Not that through repentence alone, one's sins will be forgiven.. But rather how through repentence, John will prepare the people's hearts (mostly Jews) for the acceptance of Christ, and through Him salvation.

As is written in the book of the words of Isaiah the prophet: "A voice of one calling in the desert, 'Prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for him. Every valley shall be filled in, every mountain and hill made low. The crooked roads shall become straight, the rough ways smooth. And all mankind will see God's salvation.' "

And John told the crowd,"Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. And do not begin to say to yourselves, 'We have Abraham as our father.' For I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham. The axe is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire."

The Jews at that time believed that salvation will be guaranteed based on ancestory alone. Just because they have Abraham as their father and the mark of circumcision, they will be forgiven of their sins and saved from God's wrath. But it is clear here that ancestory will not be a criterion for salvation. Rather they were to produce fruit in keeping with repentence. That means a change of heart and turning over a new leaf, turning back from their old ways.. True repentence requires much more than lip service. It encompasses action and active change and renewal..

I used to believe that religion is very much a culture/tradition thing.. meaning u basically follow whatever your parents are doing.. and that is very much the case for most people I believe.. whether or not they really believe in the act of burning joss sticks, hell money and offering food to ancestors is questionable.. at least for myself, even when I wasn't a Christian, these were merely rituals which I don't believe in.. and almost all the Malays here are Muslims.. so I always thought that religion is a traditional or ancestral thing. if your dad is a Taoist, you will be a Taoist.. if your Dad is Muslim, you will be a Muslim.. and I thought Christianity was so.. but later on, I realised that Christianity was one of the few religions that doesn't really follow this pattern.. I mean most people born in Christian families will still become Christians, but Christianity is probably the religion that non-Christians can convert to.. in fact when you say u have converted, most people will know that u have converted to Christianity and not something else.. but that is also why some people detest Christianity for constantly looking to convert people and boost their membership..

For me, I was at first rather perplexed as to why Christians are so eager to convert other people.. and I still believed that most people are born Christians.. I think it is only when I started attending PUNJ that I realised how wrong I was.. I was quite surprised that many of the PUNJers came from non-Christian backgrounds and have come to believe in Christ only later on in life.. that really challenged my view of religion.. and furthermore, I realised that even those born in Christian families are not born Christians.. meaning no one is born a Christian.. that everyone must make a decision to follow Christ some time in their lives.. no one is a Christian by default.

I think in Christianity, I find truth and credibility based on the fact that people really believed in what they are doing.. People have made a personal decision to follow Christ and not based on ancestory or tradition. They have studied God's word and come to believe in it. Their actions and words stem from their faith in Jesus Christ. And the fact that they are actively seeking people to be converted shows that they are convinced that Christianity is the truth and the way to salvation.

At the same time, there are always "Christians" who merely wear their crosses on their chests as a fashion accessory and continue in their old worldly ways and do not portray the right image of Christianity.. ultimately it is up to God who judges us and sees our hearts.. "Christian" or "non-Christian" is merely a tag that anyone can put on whenever he wishes.. there will always be Christians who are not Christians and non-Christians who are actually Christians.. only God will know.

So I digress a lot.. But why do we need to produce fruit in keeping with repentence? why do we convert? and why do we seek people to be converted? Because the axe is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire. Jesus will come to judge and punish. His winnowing fork is in his hand to clear his threshing floor and to gather the wheat into his barn, but he will burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire. He will come to judge man's hearts, and those that have believed in him will be saved, and the rest will perish.. To Christians, this is good news.. to others, this may be unpalatable and you may choose to not believe in it..

How certain am I of this? Never 100%.. but so much as the bible is true and is God's word to mankind, I find it hard to simply disregard it and move on with life..

A Saviour born

2006-09-03T21:27:00.001+08:00

Was deciding what to blog about, cos I could possibly blog about today's sermon which was quite sobering, friday's bible study or continue to blog about Luke.. Anyway decided to continue with Luke la since I have already started with it.

Luke 2 continues with a record of Jesus' birth. So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

Then an angel appeared to some shepherds and told them, "I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

Luke then went on to record for us the response of these shepherds who returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

Similarly, later in the chapter, a righteous man named Simeon and a prophetess named Anna also gave thanks to God and praised God for the birth of Jesus.

So what we see here, are the responses of 3 groups of people who responded positively to Jesus' birth and gave glory to God for it. Their response was amazing and reflected a lot of faith in the sense that they had not yet known how Jesus will come to save them of their sins. They had not come to know of Jesus' miracles and his death on the cross. However they simply trusted in what God had said. In the Old Testament, God had promised the Jews a Saviour that will come from the line of David, and who will deliver Israel from suffering and oppression. 400 years after the last book of the OT, the birth of Jesus was a fulfilment of what God had promised the Jews and provided great hope to the Jews.

At the same time, this salvation will not only be for the Jews, but will go out to all nations. We see a glimmer of this greater salvation in verses 28 to 32 of chapter 2: Simeon took Jesus in his arms and praised God, saying: "Sovereign Lord, as you have promised, you now dismiss your servant in peace. For my eyes have seen your salvation, which you have prepared in the sight of all people, a light for revelation to the Gentiles and for glory to your people Israel." So this greater salvation, through the person and work of Jesus Christ will go out to all people, including the Gentiles who were the non-Jews.

What does this mean for us? To some, the birth of Jesus probably gives us some reason to exchange presents, eat log cakes and buy christmas trees during Christmas. For some, it doesn't mean anything more than a day of reference for the counting of years.. That's where BC (before Christ) and AD (Anno Domini or in the year of the Lord) comes in. Oh by the way, historians have recently changed the way they name their years to BCE (before common era) and CE (common era) to replace BC and AD to remove the religious affiliations..

But the birth of Christ has greater significance and importance than that. And unlike the shepherds and the Jews living at that time, we are privileged in that we know how Jesus had provided us with salvation by dying on the cross for sinners. We know that the birth of Christ heralds a new era in the history of man and ushers in God's kingdom which will come to include all who believes.

But knowing about the birth of Christ and the crucifixion of Christ means nothing. Only a response by faith in God's offer of salvation, giving thanks and accepting His gift of salvation will save you from God's wrath and grant you entry into His kingdom. For myself and many Christians, knowing this good news about the birth of our Saviour has brought great joy and comfort in our lives. I am extremely thankful that God has not forsaken his people despite our sinfulness and unworthiness and has sent His Son down to earth to save us. Sometimes, people will ask me why there is only one way of salvation. It seems almost unfair and unreasonable that Christianity is the only way. But if you look at how sinful the world is today and has been in the past, and if you put yourself in the shoes of God who looked down at His creation, it is mind-boggling to understand how God has even bothered to offer a way out for us.

Perhaps it will be appropriate to leave you with the famous John 3:16 verse:
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Runner's world

2006-08-28T21:29:00.000+08:00

Posting at SNEC (Singapore National Eye Centre) has been a pretty relaxing one so far. A much needed breather after a rather shiong paeds posting.. quite interesting at first but can be quite tiring and mundane standing in the clinics for hours, especially if there is nothing much to see or do.. getting better with the ophthalmosope, albeit most of the pupils have been dilated and it's easier to see..

Army half marathon went well, better than expected.. especially since I barely ran 5 km 2 weeks prior to the run due to a medial arch injury.. I think most people think I am crazy, taking part in all these runs. I also dunno what motivated me to go through all these runs.. I picked it up 3 years ago when I was slacking away as a clerk in army and decided that I could not get fat sitting in the office every day from 9 to 5.. And I guess running suits me cos it's cheap, in fact almost free if not for the shoes, and convenient.. and it's quite a loner sport. there's no need for a partner or team-mate, unlike in tennis or soccer.. and I guess I do enjoy the quiet and peace of running alone. it removes a lot of clutter in my mind and allows me plenty of time to think about stuff, which distracts me from the physical exertion and the distance. and yup can pray to God at the same time too.. and of course the best method to maintain fitness and burn fat, and safer than lap-banding too..

But it can get quite boring, so you have to either have a lot of creativity in thinking of new routes to run every time, or you just have to have a lot of discipline and motivation to run the same route every time. For me, it's the latter cos I am used to running long dist and I am too lazy and uncreative to think of new routes to run. And it's easier to calculate distance if I run multiples of the same 5km route..

The biggest obstacle for me is time.. especially this year, and the situation wont get any better for the next few years to come.. the long runs can come to 4 hours or so including the warming up, lacing up, cooling down, cleaning up, resting and stuff, and my short runs aren't that short as well.. so you can imagine if I train properly, how many hours a week I can spend running.. I think the challenge is really how I plan my time to juggle studies, running, church, bible studies and social outings. And to remind myself that running is not the most important thing in my life.. Just have to train enough to cross the finishing line safe and sound haha.

Next race is 42.195km in December.. God bless me. =)

Luke

2006-08-19T10:31:00.000+08:00

Continuing in the same theme of this blog, I shall attempt to go through the book of Luke as my youth group is doing it right now.

Luke is one of 4 gospels written mainly to give an account of Jesus' ministry on earth from the time just before he was born to the day he was crucified.

Many have undertaken to draw up an account of the things that have been fulfilled among us, just as they were handed down to us by those who from the first were eyewitnesses and servants of the word. Therefore, since I myself have carefully investigated everything from the beginning, it seemed good also to me to write an orderly account for you, most excellent Theophilus, so that you may know the certainty of the things you have been taught.

This gospel was written by Luke, who was a medical doctor and a companion/disciple of Paul the apostle. The account was therefore most likely a second hand account of events, probably told to him by Paul. Nonetheless, the purpose for Luke writing this book is clear in the first few verses: to give an orderly account of things that have been fulfilled.

Luke's gospel focusses a lot on the fulfilment of prophecies in the old testament. And this is evident right in the opening chapter when Luke describes the birth of John the baptist. The last book of the OT, Malachi written 400 years before the birth of Jesus gave this account: "See, I will send you the prophet Elijah before that great and dreadful day of the LORD comes. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse."

In Luke, it is written:
Then an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing at the right side of the altar of incense. When Zechariah saw him, he was startled and was gripped with fear. But the angel said to him: "Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to give him the name John. He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, for he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He is never to take wine or other fermented drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit even from birth.Many of the people of Israel will he bring back to the Lord their God. And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord."

Clearly, John the baptist has been sent to prepare the way for Jesus to come, to prepare the people for Jesus' coming. And this has been prophesied 400 years before the birth of John and Jesus, which has now been come to be fulfilled..

The rest of Luke 1 and 2 records in some detail the birth of two important people, namely John the baptist and Jesus the saviour. In these 2 births, we continue to see how God is working through events to show his mercy and grace.. even through the most unlikely of circumstances.. and how God has always been faithful in his promises, and that He alone, in His own timing, will bring things to happen according to his will.

I don't know about you, but I am often filled with awe when I read the gospels.. I am just amazed at how God can bring things to fulfilment centuries after his prophets had given those prophecies. I am comforted by the fact that this god is really in control, he is real and he is sovereign.. of course, it didn't used to be the case.. I remember the first few studies at "just looking".. I was really skeptical of what was being written in John the gospel. Feelings of incredulity mixed with a bit of bewilderment.. but at the same time, I am also amazed that normal human beings believed in them.. and these people seemed pretty convicted that this is the truth. and that their belief was grounded in rationality and truth.

In Luke, we see one of the most orderly accounts of what happened during Jesus' ministry. And Luke even took the effort to record down specific historical facts that could be verified and proven. And in his writing, we see the works of an educated man.. And he also stated that he had carefully investigated everything from the beginning..

The main focus of the gospels is the preaching of the good news of Jesus Christ, that his coming has indeed brought hope and salvation to a sinful world. If by some chance, you haven't read any of the gospels before, Luke will be a good book to read. and God's word is free, in more than one sense of the word.. cos u can easily read it online at biblegateway.com. I have decided to blog about my Luke bible studies in my next few posts, so u can follow it here if u want to, and hopefully I blog often enough..

Ophthalmo posting at SNEC on Monday!

Kings

2006-07-23T22:43:00.000+08:00

A post! Haha..

Really struggling to find time to blog these days.. and when I finally decided to blog, I am so tired that I can’t think of anything worth blogging..

I think I don’t strive very well under stress.. especially stressful when you are doing things for the first time.. one was organizing games for the BB/GB boys and girls.. second was doing the paeds debate.. well I guess the most stressful part for me was the week leading up to these two things, cos its like something is impending, but it has not yet arrived and you are not sure how it will turn out.. the two events went fine.. anyway when you are involved in it, things happen quickly and they are over in minutes.. and I guess the least stressful part is the aftermath.. haha duh.. Actually all my worries and stress were unfounded.. I know it at the back of my head. Yet I still feel stressed. At the end of the day, as long as you do fairly okay, people will still say that you did a fantastic job, especially in Christian settings where people are so accommodating and encouraging.. I think even if it was a disaster, people will still say you did a great job haha.. Anyway, it was a good experience for me preparing and participating in those two events. And valuable lessons learnt. Especially for the debate, I don’t think it was a waste of time. So yup thank God for them!

Maybe share something from today’s sermon which I think has valuable lessons for Christians and non-Christians alike. My church is currently doing a series on 1 Samuel. And today it was from 1 Samuel chapter 8. In short, the passage is about the Israelites at that time asking Samuel (a judge or God’s mouthpiece or spokesperson) to appoint a king over them, just like all other nations had. God’s response was that the Israelites had rejected Him as king and chosen to look for a human king. They had forgotten how He had brought them out of Egypt and had turned to other gods and forsaken Him. God then warned them how they will be enslaved under the reign of the human king and how he will demand their possessions, children, servants and flocks. Yet the Israelites were adamant in their demand for a human king. And God will grant their wish.

I think in many ways, we are just like the Israelites at that time. Sin has not changed in its nature through these couple of thousand of years. Man’s sin is still manifested in the same way in his rebellion against God and rejection of his rule.

For us Christians, we have full knowledge about God. We know that through believing in Jesus, we are saved and that our lives should be offered up totally to him, to serve him and honour him. We are to rejoice in knowing him and serving him. Yet many times, knowing about him rarely equates to knowing him. Even though we already have a great God that is almighty and governs over all areas of our lives, we continue to serve our tiny gods within everyone of us, be it relationships, money, career, entertainment or material things. We continue to ask God for a “king” in our lives. How nice it will be if you give me that wonderful job in that MNC? How nice it will be if I can get a raise next month? How nice it will be if I get together with so and so? And live happily ever after. So are we shifting our trust in God which He expects from all of us, to a misplaced trust in things of this world?

When I was a non-Christian, I really long for the things of this world. To do well in school, to get a good job, move up the social strata, earn my millions, marry a good wife, have nice kids, retire in some rustic countryside and die peacefully. To a certain extent, these “wants” are still there consciously or subconsciously. But if you think about it, it is a really futile existence building your lives around these things. Many of these things don’t last and many times, these things are not within our control. Not many people are born with good brains. Not many people have the luck to make it big in the business world. Relationships have always been fraught with problems. Of course, some have been able to achieve some of these things through sheer grit and hard work. But at the end of the day, is it worth spending your whole life chasing after these things? I don’t know. As sinful people, some of us will still claim that it is worthwhile aiming for these things in life. Especially if you don’t believe in a god. If this life is all there is, the be all and end all, then the only things that can keep us going will be all the things mentioned above. But if you believe in a god, God is saying here that He does not want us to be enslaved by all these things. To spend our entire lives chasing after things that are temporary and to the point of being their slaves, being slaves to work, being slaves to money and being slaves of this world. Instead what God offers is a life to serve him, to live under His reign, and be free from the shackles of this world. Freedom instead of slavery. Eternal life instead of death.

Perhaps what we all need are not the little kings we all yearn, but what we do need is God the king. What we do need is a new heart to serve God and God alone. What we do need is to repent of our sinful ways and to turn to God for forgiveness.

PLT Retreat

2006-06-25T16:47:00.000+08:00

Just returned from the PLT* retreat held at NACLI. And I have to say that it was a very fruitful and edifying 2 days or so spent there. And it was a wonderful 2 to 3 months learning how to understand God's word, how to package it into a study and how to convey the message to group members.. As I mentioned earlier, only God knows how He wants to use me to serve the church and really, whether as a leader or not in future, the lessons learnt from PLT will never be forgotten.

We covered the book of Exodus at the retreat. I have never really liked reading the old testament.. always found it long and laborious.. sleep-inducing.. and I always have difficulties relating the events that occurred during the Israelites' time to my own life or even to the present world.. But perhaps because of the depth in which we covered Exodus and due to the efforts spent preparing for the studies, it suddenly daunted on me how amazing God's word is, even in the old testament.. It is amazing and comforting at the same time, to know that this is the same God that brought the Israelites out of Egypt that has given us the hope of salvation today. And that God has always been faithful to His promises, down to the smallest details.. And it is wonderful to know that all His promises have been fulfilled in the work and person of Jesus Christ.

Anyway for those less acquainted with the bible, Exodus is a book from the bible. Perhaps you can better strike a chord with the cartoon Prince of Egypt, where Moses was chosen as the leader to bring God's people out of slavery in the land of Egypt.

I had a good time interacting with the people at PLT.. Despite being the youngest person there, both physically and spiritually, I had no problems communicating with the people there.. and like last year's church camp, I find that such camps really allow people to get to know one another better.. And really, I can see how the gospel unites people from different backgrounds, ages, occupations and stages in life.. This truly is the fellowship or partnership in the gospel that the book of Philippians is talking about. You can really see the enthusiasm in how they want to know God and serve Him.. Their humility in wanting to learn from God's word and from one another.. Their love in encouraging one another even when the bible studies might not be particularly well-led, and in taking the effort to know one another better..

In fact, in our 2 days there, we didn't even have a television.. and I thought I wouldn't survive a day without the world cup haha.. and the food wasn't fantastic either.. there was nothing much to do there.. no outdoor activities either.. But with our bibles, with our spirits of wanting to learn from God's word and some games like Rummy and Taboo, we more than made up for what we lacked.. and I might even go further to say that perhaps, this gives us an inkling of what heaven is like.. that God's people are under God's rule, being spiritually satiated by His word and thriving on His word, and having perfect fellowship with one another..

Wee Seng summed up the retreat with a study of the book of Titus in the new testament. There is really no other way in which the gospel can be passed down. And there is no other way people can be spared from God's wrath. Through Jesus, the gospel came to the 12 apostles, through the apostles, anointed leaders, and through generations of leaders, us today.. And how can the gospel and the good news of salvation be passed to other people and future generations? through the leaders today.. And the baton we are passing on is not a leadership post or position, but it is the gospel, no more and no less.. that the gospel must be passed on in truth and sound doctrine, so that people might live godly lives as we wait for the blessed hope!

*Potential Leaders' Training

Religion

2006-06-23T11:42:00.000+08:00

I know some of you have been checking my blog regularly.. just couldn't find time to sit down and type a post properly.. blame the world cup haha..

Thought I should talk a bit about this concept of religion. If u go to dictionary.com, it will give you a few definitions, of which I find these three more understandable and more commonly perceived.
1. Belief in and reverence for a supernatural power or powers regarded as creator and governor of the universe.
2. A set of beliefs, values, and practices based on the teachings of a spiritual leader.
3. A cause, principle, or activity pursued with zeal or conscientious devotion.

You know, before I came to accept christianity, I have always held on to the second definition, that religions, including christianity, are nothing but sets of beliefs and values based on teachings of a spiritual leader. So Islam is based on teachings of Prophet Mohamed, Christianity Jesus, Buddhism Buddha... To me, these were just teachings from man.. Sets of beliefs and values that would make your life complete, more meaningful and make you a better person.. And to me, if these were created by man, like you and me, I find religion futile and unnecessary. After all, who do I need to teach me how to live my life? Really, even without religion, there are people who are honest, kind, gentle, humble, generous and amicable..

In that aspect, Christianity was never meant to be a religion. It was never meant to be a set of beliefs or a way of life.. It was never meant to teach you how to live a better life or how to be nice to everyone.. so that puts to nought any talk that "Christianity is not a religion for me", "I have no need for religion at this point in my life" and "I will think about religion next time, right now I will concentrate on my career and finding a partner".. because all the above statements assume that Christianity is merely a set of beliefs created by a man. If it is just a set of man-made ideas, I fully agree with you that you can put them aside and get on with the more important areas of life..

I reread my own posts many times.. and I think I do sound arrogant and overly defensive at times. but I need to put some ideas across strongly to make my point.. and really, what do I have to boast about? that I became a Christian? that was entirely by God. that I am morally superior to you? never.. cos I am as sinful as each and everyone of you reading this post. So I hope you wont be put off by my "arrogance" here..

Ok what about the third definition? I think unknowingly, all of us hold on to our own gods and religions.. right now, many of us are worshipping the gods who earn more in a week than what I will earn in a year just by kicking a ball around.. you get the idea. there are so many other religions we subscribe to. studies, work, career, girlfriend, boyfriend, finding a girlfriend/boyfriend, health, fitness, food.. but actually all the above can be summed up in the worship of one thing - self. If you think carefully about it, all of those things are just self-worship. living for oneself, and pursuing things and relationships to satisfy yourself.. After all "It's my life!" isn't it? I live it the way I want it to be.. as long as I am happy..

Just before I became Christian (how many "before I became Christian"s do I exactly have? a lot haha..), I thought I found the perfect religion I wanted, a relationship. As much as I thought I was doing things to make her happy and stuff, at the heart of everything I did, it was really just a worship of myself, to make myself feel happy.. and there were indeed a lot of "emotional highs" during those few months of courtship/worship.. so much so that when it all ended, I was left with a void in my life.. I read my private blog post I posted during the "aftermath", and it read something like moving on in my life, concentrating on my studies and my career.. and isn't it something we all do in our lives? moving on from one aim to another aim in life.. from worshipping one god to another god.. fortunately, I came to believe in one true god..

To us Christians, Christianity is a religion only based on the first definition. The belief, worship and reverence of one true God, the creator of the universe.

And it is for this reason that I am so zealous in talking about religion on my blog.. And Paul puts it best:
"The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them. For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.

For although they knew God, they neither glorified him nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles. ... They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshipped created things rather than the Creator.."

Indeed, I am not saying things like career, cars, family, money and relationships are bad things.. Neither did God say that these things are bad because they are created by Him. But really, how long do these things last? Are we deceived by this world to put all our lives and energies in these things that are transient and temporary? In that sense, are we exchanging and giving up the truth of God for a lie?

Family Photos at Malacca

2006-06-17T20:51:00.000+08:00

Not Bad Wat..

2006-06-12T11:16:00.000+08:00

"Not bad wat.." "Not bad mah.." "Not bad leh.."
I realise many of us like to use the phrase "not bad". I guess it shows some kind of humility. At least it is slightly better than saying, "Lousy la.. I only got 80." So in actual fact, when one says something is not bad, he is saying it is good. But being humble people, we would rather tell others we are not bad and let others tell us that we are good.

Anyway that was a little out of point.. From a normal human point of view, I think a lot of things can be not bad. In fact, a lot of things can be good. And there are lots of good people around too. People who donate generously to charities. People who are truly humble, down-to-earth. People who have no hatred, no malice, no ill-intent. People who do not gossip and spread rumours. People who help others altruistically. But people who satisfy all of these are few and rare. For the mortals like you and me, we would just like to think of ourselves as " well, not too bad la.."

Sometimes, it does make me ponder.. As I look at the people around me, Christians and non-Christians alike, I think these people are not too bad. After all, they are not going around killing people or stealing or cheating. They are sincere people. They love their families and friends. They study and work hard. They are filial. Granted the few vulgarities and the few gossips and rumours and the occasional stare or comment at the babe that walked by, I don't think these were done with much malice or ill-intent..

And then there are the true angels out there. People who really have a kind heart. People who are selfless and self-sacrificial.

So how can such people be punished if God is really a fair God? I don't really know the answer.. Sometimes it bothers me that I am saved but the, in my opinion, nicer and better people around me aren't.. I guess it gives me more reason and encouragement to live a life that is worthy of being saved.

But really, is what we humans define as good really good? What is the cut-off point for gaining entry into heaven? We have this tendency to set our own standards and rules. Perhaps it comforts us to think that we are not too bad people. Perhaps it comforts us to think that what we do is enough and satisfactory. So long as we do not harm other people. So long as we do not break the law.

But if indeed there is a God, then who are we to set the rules? or question the rules set by Him? Maybe by our human reasoning, it seems unfair that everyone is under His judgment.. But He sets the rules and He sets the standards for us.. And the standards are the same for each and everyone of us. In contrast our standards are arbitrary and vary among individuals. To be made right before Him, we must be perfect and spotlessly clean. And the only way to do that, and I know I am sounding like a broken record now, is through faith in Jesus Christ.

It might be comforting to us now that we are treating people sincerely and not doing things that are harming others (though sometimes we harm others unknowingly). But what good is there if this is a just a false sense of comfort and security? What if what we define as good is not good enough in God's eyes?

"All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law. ... This will take place on the day when God will judge men's secrets through Jesus Christ, as my gospel declares." -- Romans

Absolut Joy

2006-06-06T21:11:00.000+08:00

Recently, I have had plenty to be joyful about.. henceforth the change in the blog title.
Indeed sometimes I lament so much about my struggles and shortcomings when in fact there is so much to be thankful about. Thank God for the timely reminder in the sermon 2 weeks ago which reminds me to be thankful regardless of the circumstances and to continue to put my trust in him..

I think as Christians, there are always times when we are doubtful.. doubtful of His existence.. doubtful of His will.. I often question whether He is around.. whether He is real.. Sometimes I cannot understand why certain things happen that way.. And from time to time, these doubts will come back and new doubts will develop. And these doubts don't make anyone any less a Christian. In fact, it is during these times of doubts that you begin to dig deep and learn to draw on God's strength and learn to depend on Him.

And it was also in those times of immense stress and hopelessness and doubts that I found God.. During those few months, I was at times helpless, at times disappointed, at times bitter about how things had turned out.. But it was only during those times that I started to ponder over spiritual issues and the meaning of life. It seems that it takes some form of failure and disappointment to make a proud person turn to God for help. And indeed I see that happening around me.

I am really thankful for the two friends that have recently started going to church and beginning to know Christ.. Regardless of the circumstances in which they came to believe, I do hope they continue to put their trust in God and continue to mature in their faith.. Really, it is very encouraging to hear from them how they are beginning to turn to Christ.. it just shows the greatness of God's love, His generosity and His sovereign will.. and really, to anyone willing to receive this gift, He freely pours out His love and mercy.. He will never shut the door on anyone.. not even the most hardened criminal or stubborn soul.

I am glad I took up the opportunity to go for the leaders' course.. Although I can't say for sure that I will be able to lead a bible study in the near future, I think the course has greatly benefitted me in terms of understanding God's word and applying it in my life. Preparing for a bible study requires a lot of time and energy and it really forces you to read God's word properly and thoroughly cos how the bible study is led does not solely impact on the leader alone but also affects the group members' understanding of the bible. And yup, the bible is meant to be taught and learnt.. when I tried to read the bible on my own last time, I could barely understand what it is trying to say, let alone reading it in context or applying it correctly in my life. However, like what my course leader said, the leader of the bible discussion normally benefits the most and understands it fully.. I can't agree more cos leading the bible study has allowed me to understand God's word better.. At the same time, I can better appreciate the pains and efforts put in by my leaders in preparing for the bible studies.. Christian ministry is really hard work, hard work which is often unappreciated and unrewarding.. I can only ask God to guide me as I ponder over in what capacity I can serve the Church in future, in firm assurance that my reward is in heaven..

I rejoice for the relationships I have had with people these past few months.. relationships maintained, forged, and rekindled.. especially the ones that were renewed, I am really thankful to God. Sometimes, I thought as a result of my selfishness, some relationships were on the verge of breaking down.. but thankfully, in Christ, there is no record of wrongs, no conceit, no pride; only forgiveness, magnanimity and humility! also thankful for some new friendships forged or deepened.. these have been a great source of strength and encouragement for me.. especially my new one-to-one bible study leader-cum-buddy-cum-confidante Keeevin, he has been thoroughly encouraging and supportive.. I always go away from my one-to-ones feeling rejuvenated and refreshed. A big thank you to you if you are reading this! =)

To all who have received God's grace, rejoice!

Psalms 150

Praise the LORD.

Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens.
Praise him for his acts of power;

praise him for his surpassing greatness.
Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet,

praise him with the harp and lyre,
praise him with tambourine and dancing,

praise him with the strings and flute,
praise him with the clash of cymbals,

praise him with resounding cymbals.
Let everything that has breath praise the LORD.

Praise the LORD.

Holy Bible or Holey Bible? Part 2

2006-05-29T21:55:00.000+08:00

Some updates
Hey everyone, I am a bit hyper now cos I just came back from a jog.. I am elated because I got a mail from someone which made my day! u know, nothing beats knowing that one (in fact two) of your good friends or loved ones is open to the gospel or is being saved.. what can I say? God works according to His purposes and I can only thank God for them.. And I am relieved cos I led 2 bible studies in 3 days unscathed.. I thank God for them too.. I dunno how I survived last week with 2 bible studies to prepare and so many things to do.. but I did! now to take a breather, continue blogging and going back to reading up on neurology.

Da Vinci's Code
I think most of you would have expected me to write something about this. But actually the fact is there are already so many books and articles out there on it, I really got nothing new to add.. haha.. perhaps I shall just summarise some of the more important points from various articles..

Actually I havent watched the movie but I read the book like one year ago so I roughly still know the story.. I think it is an interesting story no doubt.. as a young Christian then, I think I am forced to consider whether some of the things said in the book are true.. it forced me to deal with the facts and not just blindly believe. but I will be lying if I say that my faith wasn't shaken a tiny bit..

that is where Dan Brown is so successful in doing.. he skilfully tries to mix what he claims as "facts" and "real events" with fictional characters and events.. and successfully created a bestselling novel and blockbuster movie. by doing so, he is absolved of any blame of misreporting facts.. at the same time, blurring our perception of truth vs fiction.. in the process, readers are challenged to question whether there can be any absolute truths and tempted to believe that there are none.. he is really good at doing that.. and in the process, tens of millions of dollars richer.. to him, he has achieved his purpose, whether or not his supposed facts in his novel are really facts or not.

Dan Brown defines things his own way. his truths and facts seem to be his own truths and facts.. he claims that he is a Christian trying to decipher life's big mysteries (whatever that means), on his own path to enlightenment, and most incredibly, a student of many religions.. I rest my case. I admit, I hold my own prejudices and biases as I type this.. but I don't think u would expect a non-Christian to be typing this right?

and indeed, I suggest to you, everyone of us here hold our own prejudices as we watch the movie or read the book. as a non-Christian, with little knowledge of the bible and how it came about, you will walk out of the theatre thinking Christianity consists of a spectrum of beliefs ranging from Jesus is God to Jesus is a married man and that a group of people long ago ganged up to edit documents and make Jesus seem to be God when he wasn't. to you, this alternative "fact" is enough to discredit Christianity. case closed. "I knew it.." "I told you so.." but I didn't expect you to be more objective or less biased than this.. after all Dan Brown is such a skilful writer..

still, some of u might be interested in what the "opposition" might have to say. you have a choice!

Da Vinci Code VS Opposition
DVC: The bible is a product of man.. Not of God. the bible did not fall magically from the clouds. Man created it.. History has never had a definitive version of the book.

O: DB got it right, the bible did not fall magically from the clouds. It was written by man. BUT it is God-breathed. It is inspired by God. It was not created from nothing. It is based on historical facts and real-life accounts of people who touched, talked and interacted with Jesus.

DVC: Constantine commissioned and financed a new bible which omitted those gospels that spoke of Christ’s human traits and embellished those gospels that made him god-like. The earlier gospels were outlawed, gathered up and burnt.

O: Constantine was the Roman Emperor from AD 313 to AD 337. He was not a Christian cos he prayed to various gods and accepted many religions in his empire. Thus, he had no reason to commission or finance this "new bible" which made Jesus out to be a god. The earlier gospels were neither gospels, nor were they earlier.. These books were excluded from the bible on the basis that they were not written by first- or second-hand witnesses of Jesus. They were also written 100 to 200 years after Jesus' death.

The gospels that were accepted in today's bible were written by Jesus' disciples or his disciples' close mates or disciples. All these writers lived during the time of Jesus. And all these gospels were written before AD 100. That's like historians writing about Hitler now.

There was no "new bible". As early as 10 to 20 years after Jesus' death, there were already gospels or creeds circulating around and which were already accepted as being authoritative and true. And by AD150, there were reportedly collections of books that were regarded as authoritative. But in AD325, due to the challenge of heresy and fraud, the church leadership decided to clearly define a list of books which have become the New Testament of today. But these books had been circulating for at least 2 centuries..

The accepted books did not embellish Jesus' god-like traits or downplay his human traits. In fact, the bible says that Jesus is fully man and fully God at the same time. Jesus breathed and ate and was tempted in the desert like a human being in the gospels. And he was crucified to death on the cross. The rejected "gospels" were never suppressed. They were available and read by people but were simply not recognized as having the same worth or authority as the accepted gospels. DB also got it completely wrong when he says that the outlawed "gospels" talked about Jesus' human traits. Cos the opposite is true. These false gospels claimed to have some superior revelation from God, were not based on eyewitness accounts, and rejected the belief that Jesus came in the flesh. In other words, these false gospels rejected Jesus' humanhood.

DVC: Jesus’ establishment as the Son of God was officially proposed and voted on by the Council of Nicaea. Jesus’ divinity was the result of a vote. A relatively close vote. Until that point in history, Jesus was viewed by his followers as a mortal prophet, … a great and powerful man, but a man nonetheless. A mortal.

O: Jesus’ divinity was accepted by the twelve disciples soon after his resurrection, way before AD 300. The issue at Nicaea was how the divine Son (Jesus) and Father (heavenly God) were interrelated and whether they share the same substance. No one at the council was contending that Jesus was a mere mortal or just a prophet. The dispute was over whether Christ had a divine substance like the Father's or whether he shared the same divine substance with the Father.

DVC: There were thousands of documents recording that Jesus was a mortal man.These are the Nag Hammadi documents, named after the place they were discovered in Egypt in 1945.

O: There are not thousands of them. Only 45 fragments, parts of documents.
It is agreed by almost all scholars that most of the documents were written in the second or third centuries. Unlikely to be part of the original real documents of the NT, written mainly before 100 AD.

DVC: Mary Magdalene was married to Jesus.

O: This one is a smoke bomb dropped from no where. Don't know where it came from too.. Maybe it came from the gospel of Dan Brown or something.. but good try la.. very sensational.. and makes for good debate.. but none of the gospels, no matter false or true, mentioned that Jesus was married..

Conclusion
Well, actually most of the articles are giving DB too much respect by even bothering to criticise his novel. Cos it is just a fictional story with too many half-truths and absolute lies. You don't use fiction to confirm or disprove anything.. If you would like to think that the bible is false, why not read the bible or attend a sermon? challenge your Christian friends' beliefs or something..

Oh and I have no qualms about reading the book or watching the movie. And no, most churches do not forbid their members from catching the movie. My personal opinion is that: all the more Christians should watch it cos we are not afraid of facing up to challenges to our faith. Only by considering that something might be false can someone come to accept that it is true. And if anything, Christianity is a religion which can be readily defended by evidence and logic.

Lonely, I am so lonely..

2006-05-21T17:11:00.000+08:00

Hey it's not what u think it is.. not lonely in that sense. I think I have learnt to put my trust in God. God made us for relationships yes.. but I think relationships are not exclusive to boy-girl relationships or marriages.. friendships, parent-child relationships and sibling-sibling relationships are all equally valuable. and of course, above all, my relationship with God.

but sometimes, I do feel lonely.. sometimes I feel that I am the only one holding on to the faith among the people around me. my parents, my family, my close friends.. sometimes, I doubt about the truth of what I believe and why I believe. sometimes, I feel it is easier to just follow the crowd and throw away all these beliefs.. maybe Christ didnt exist.. maybe, it is like what the Da Vinci's Code says.. that the bible is all made-up and fake.. if it is fake, then what use is my faith and my holding on to these beliefs? why am I going to church? why am I preparing bible studies? why am I reading the bible? why am I spreading the gospel on my blog? why am I praying for my friends and family members to be saved?

really, it is so much easier to just conform to the values of the world. work hard. make lots of money. marry a pretty wife. rear cute children. enjoy life.

sometimes I feel misunderstood. I can almost imagine the things people are saying behind my back. I can even hear them vividly sometimes. I can imagine what they are thinking when they read my blog. I can feel the awkwardness. I can sense the things going through their minds. " oh dear, one day he is going to ask me to go to church.." "he is going to ask me to go to the service again.." maybe I am just imagining things..

maybe this world is all that there is.. sometimes, I wish I had not heard the gospel at all. sometimes I wonder what I will be doing now if I had not gone to church 2 years ago.. probably reading my medical textbooks or something. going out with friends rather than spending 5 hours at church..

Yet, despite all these recurring thoughts these 2 years, I have not given up on the gospel.. somehow, something inside me tells me that this is true. Christ is real. despite all the doubts, I still held on to the beliefs. my doubts also spurred me to question and explore.. and I still arrived at the same answer. Christ is real. sin is real. salvation is real. God 's grace is real.

indeed, often I asked myself why I had converted.. is it because of that "frivolous reason"? is it because I was convicted of my sin? is it beacuse of the bible studies? is it because of peer pressure from the church people? or is it because of the love I had experienced in the Church? I don't know.. but looking back at how I came to the church, the circumstances in which I came to believe and how I grew in my knowledge of the gospel and how I grew in my Christian walk, it seems there can only be one person making sure all these happened.. it seems that He had purposefully made all those things happen so that I could believe and be saved. it seems that He had put certain people in these 2 years of my life to teach me, to encourage me and to guide me in my Christian walk.. it seems that He had painstakingly planned and choreographed each and every step that I took to reach where I am now. it is God.. it must be..

and what more can I ask for? really.. in Christ, I can no longer demand anything else.. and indeed, if something as difficult as saving a sinner like me has been done, what more the little things like studies, work, financial security and relationships..

and despite all the doubts and difficulites I had coming to terms with my faith, I find it difficult to believe that this world is all that there is.. I still find myself asking where did I come from? and for what purpose am I here for? and to where will I return or go when I die? it seems a futile existence if Christ and God were not real.. am I just here to work hard, earn lots of money, marry a good wife, have good kids and enjoy life? then what happens if I don't earn lots of money? if I can't find a wife? if I suffer from cancer and die a painful death? is there meaning in all these then? if not, do I go around looking for some other meaning or is there already a purpose that my maker had long established for me? and still, I find great comfort in knowing that God has made me for a purpose and that I am going to a specific destination when I die and that I will be saved from my sins.

in all these I have nothing to complain or whine about.. as I told someone, it is not: God is all I have, but rather it should be: I already have God, what more shall I need?

Psalm 23
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Absolute relativism

2006-05-14T01:29:00.000+08:00

This is going to be my shortest post..
Relativism is absolutely true. this statement contradicts itself. if relativism is true, then there are no absolutes. so the more appropriate statement would be that relativism might be true. considering if relativism is true, then what happens if I think relativism is false? by the nature of relativism, u can't say that what I say is wrong cos relativism says that everyone is right. but if what I say is correct, then relativism is false. so how in the world can relativism be true?

I am not talking about cultural and social norms and preferences here. such things are relative by nature. I like pink, u like blue. there is no truth in what colour to like. so of cos relativism must stand here. same goes for how u want your steak and eggs done..

but relativism is an idea that is fundamentally flawed especially when it comes to God and religion. some people say that all religions are true and all will lead to the same destination.. that is really ignorance at its best.. simply because Christianity says that the only way to know God is through Jesus and Jesus is God, Buddhism says there is no one God and everyone can reach godlikeness or nirvana on their own while Islam says that Jesus is merely a prophet and not God.. so how can these different paths lead to the same destination when they totally contradict each other? how can we be subject to different "systems" when we live on the same earth and breathe the same air?

same goes for the idea that we are perceiving different aspects of the same reality..
if my reality is that your reality is false, then both cannot be true. if both are not true, then one of us (or both) is in error. if one or both of us is in error, then relativism is not true.

ok it's a bit mind boggling.. so take your time to figure that out.

心连心，向前进。

2006-05-08T16:07:00.000+08:00

u got to read this post in unicode.

pap's election slogan this year is 心连心，向前进。
well some online forums were suggesting this: 金连金，向钱进。　haha..

anyway, I am not going to discuss about politics here lest my blog gets shut down or something. but as I went through the weekend's sermon and bible study, one theme was rather glaring. and it was that of sin. and I suggest to you this: sin连sin, 向泉进。　泉是指黄泉的泉。

this topic of sin is rather hard to broach.. I mean deep down we are all proud people, and we do not want people to tell us that we are bad people.. so even when some churches evangelise to non-christians, theirs is a message of comfort, solace and meaning in life. come embrace christianity, God loves you and will give you life. God will comfort you in your sorrows. Christianity will provide you the meaning you are looking for in your life. if you want to know how to live the perfect life, Christianity is the answer.

but if I tell you that the true message of Christianity is that you need Jesus because you have sinned, many of you will be rather turned off.. i think the message of the true meaning of life and the love and comfort Jesus can provide is probably more palatable and easy to swallow. but I don't think that is the point. if I were to be faithful and true to God's word, then the message of sin must be told first before the message of love.

the rationale is simple. there is a problem. there is a consequence of this problem. and there is a solution. without a problem, there is no consequence and obviously, what solution is there to talk about?

The bible says, "As it is written: there is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. all have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one." the problem of mankind is this: all man have sinned by rejecting God and refusing to obey his commands. the consequence: "the way of the wicked will perish." (Psalms 1)

the consequence of sin is death. therefore, as much as we can prolong our lives in this day, all of us will one day die. and this death is a result of the sin we all have.

I don't know about you, but I have never failed to realise how bad or sinful a person I am, even before I became a Christian. perhaps that makes it easier for me to believe in the bible. and in fact, one of the reasons why I was first convinced of the message is that what the bible says about sin really applies to me. and it makes a whole lot of sense to me. and that is a crucial first step, to acknowledge that all of us here, no matter how hard we try to be good people, have sinned and have fallen short of God's standards.

I am not sure if I can explain this well but I shall try. we are all born with a conscience, murderers, rapists, liars, cheaters all included. we are able to decipher what is right and what is wrong. and quite amazingly, this idea of right and wrong is generally consistent even across ethnicity and geography. let's say the same act of B sticking out his leg and causing A to trip. A will not so much as cast a frown on B if it was not intentional. but if A knows that B had a bone to pick with him and had purposely done so, A will confront B and start a quarrel with him. so although it is the same act, we can somehow say that the latter act is wrong and the former is not. and that applies for many things. things like murder. things like stealing. have you ever wondered why it seems so natural for us to think that murder and stealing are wrong? where did we get this idea from? is it taught to us? so at 4 years old before you received any education, do you sincerely believe that killing someone is the right thing to do? so it seems that all of us share this natural law inside us which tells us what is right and what is wrong. and CS Lewis who wrote Chronicles of Narnia had this to say to skeptics: "whenever you find a man who says he does not believe in a real right or wrong, you will find him going back on this a moment later. he may break his promise to you, but if you try breaking one to him he will be complaining 'it's not fair' even before you can say jack robinson."

my next point, or actually it's CS lewis' point, is that none of us are keeping to this law within us. so if u have been a perfect person all your life, and have never done anything wrong, I think whatever I have said and am going to say now and in future does not apply to you. and this is where I will refute the claim that Christians are conceited and arrogant snobs. because one definition of a true Christian is a person who accepts that he has sinned and fallen short of God's standards and has come to believe in God and accepted God's gift of salvation. in short, he is one who feels that he needs to be saved.

for myself, while I was still exploring the faith, this verse from romans 7 was very true to me. "I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. for I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. for what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing.. so I find this law at work: when I want to do good, evil is right there with me. for in my inner being I delight in god's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. what a wretched man I am!"

sometimes, we read the newspapers and delight in condemning the murderers and the sexually depraved people.. why is he so cruel? why did he had to resort to killing her? why did the father rape his daughters? this doctor had a wife and a nice family, why did he have to take upskirt photos of women? why did Hitler and Pol Pot have to resort to massacring millions of people to attain their political ambitions? it seems so stupid of them, so inexplicable to us.. but the bible has always been right in its assessment of mankind.. all have sinned. what about you? no, I am a good person. I donated $5 to charity that day. I helped an old lady cross the road. what wrong have I done? but really, what the murderers, the rapists and the robbers did were just a manifestation of what is deep within everyone. he hated his wife who had slept with another man. so he killed her. the murder was just a outward manifestation of the hatred in him. when I hate another person, the difference between me and the murderer is that this hatred was not that deep. what this person did to me was not as serious as what the wife did to the man. and if really there is one day when that hatred is so deep, the only thing stopping me from killing my enemy is just the law and the dire consequences. but the heart of mine and the heart of the murderer are the same. sin is in 心. it comes from within us. when we hate someone, when we feel conceited and proud, when we look at someone lustfully, when we put our own interests above others, we have already sinned even though outwardly, we can pretend to be the most angelic creatures on earth.

and God looks right through our heart and sees all our evil thoughts. and the only rightful result of our sin is death. we can never escape that.

so what hope is there for us? by our own human efforts, we can never achieve God's standards. God is holy and his standards are high. he wants us spotless and clean. we can help a thousand people in our lives. we can meditate at home all day. we can become vegetarians. we can even give up all our possessions. but nothing is ever going to change the fact that we are sinful people. and nothing is ever going to blot over our sins. given the wrong circumstances, we are always going to fall into sin. there is absolutely no hope for us except Jesus Christ. I know, I know.. u will say: how can you guys claim that Jesus Christ is the only way? yes, I also wished there were other ways and other alternatives. but the bible says this is the only way. if the bible is true, then this is the only way. if it is false, either there is no way and everyone is condemned or there is some other way/s.

but why is there even a way for us explained in the bible? since we have done wrong, we deserve punishment.. by right, God doesn't have to provide us with a solution. but by left, because of his mercy, he has provided us a solution in the way of Jesus Christ. that he has come to die on the cross. Jesus was absolutely clean and spotless in God's eyes. he did not sin like us because he is god. by being perfect and yet accepting God's punishment on our behalf, he is the perfect sacrifice for all our sins.. and we are saved from God's anger because of him. and this only if we believe in Jesus Christ and believing that what he had done really happened and his act is sufficient to wipe away all our sins. the result of believing in him is eternal life. physically we will still die, but spiritually we will be raised up after our death and live happily ever after, literally.

it doesnt make sense at first. absurd. but if u think about it properly, how can imperfect man make peace with God? but only on God's terms and God's solution can we be saved. by sending a perfect person to die for imperfect man.. and after 2 years as a Christian, it seems a perfect solution. God's gift of salvation (being saved) is free and unconditional. oh I need to do steps 1 to 10 to become a Christian. I need to go to church. I must donate this amount of money to the church. I must be born in a Christian family. Nope! all God wants is for you to recognise that you are a sinful person, confess to him that u have sinned and tell him that you truly believe that Jesus Christ has died on the cross for your sins and you are willing to accept this gift of salvation from him..

my sincere prayer for all of you reading this blog: that all of u will be saved and we will see each other in heaven in future.. =)

You have a choice!

2006-05-04T21:50:00.000+08:00

Hmm decided to take a break from my usual "bible-bashing" to talk about something else.. haha..

elections are here! so exciting.. it seems that this year's election is more exciting than the previous ones. number of reasons. firstly, this is the first time in many years that the pap is not returned to the government on nomination day. yay. secondly, i get to vote. double yay. thirdly, this election's opposition candidates seem more credible and capable compared to the past. so really, we are in for an exciting 6th of may.

but of cos let us not kid ourselves. we know who will form the govt on saturday. even the most politically apathetic person living here can tell u that.

so i think we are not really looking at opposition parties forming the govt. we are not looking at opposition candidates who can negotiate FTAs or change the education system. minus all the bread and butter issues. minus james gomez. minus upgrading. i agree with the opposition that we cannot allow the pap to have absolute power in the parliament. and that we really need an opposition, a credible one, to keep a check on the pap in the parliament and to really prevent them from getting complacent and abusing their power..

having said that, i have no doubts that pap has done a great job of governing singapore for the past 40 odd years.. and i believe the pap govt will continue to do their job.. but there is always a role for an alternative voice in the parliament. and saying that, i don't mean any tom, dick or harry getting into parliament and talking nonsense or trying to pick a bone with the govt just for the sake of it. and i am very sure singaporeans are shrewd enough to see for themselves who are good enough and who are not..

for this election, i am witnessing a very impressive batch of opposition candidates who are not contesting for fun. they are well-educated, can speak and argue sensibly and most importantly, they have a passion to serve and improve the livelihood of people. and their willingness to step out of their comfort zone to contest against the pap and stand for what they believe in deserves to be applauded.. on the other hand, i really question the wisdom of allowing new, untested pap candidates to sail into parliament on the backs of ministers without a true baptism of fire..

it's not hard to guess who i am supporting.. just that unfortunately, i am not living in hougang or aljunied grc haha.. it all boils down to a very interesting 6th of may.

to those who are living in these areas, i just have to leave you with this: you have a choice! =)

Holy Bible or Holey Bible? Part 1

2006-04-23T20:06:00.000+08:00

Of course, I believe that it is the holy bible. why else would I be spending my time here talking about all these if I believed otherwise?

I will attempt to talk about the authenticity of the bible and its claims here. it won't be very convincing to some of you but hoping that you would keep your mind as objective as possible, however hard it may be, you might just agree with me on some points, if not all of them.

I used to think that the bible was some moral code for Christians to follow. you must not do this.. you must do that.. it was only 2 years ago when I started reading the bible that I realised it isn't a book about dos and don'ts. it is also not a self-help book for you to inspire yourself or encourage yourself when you are down. it is not a book of quotes for you to impress anyone. it is not a bedtime story book. it is also not a book containing mysterious sayings and codes and prophecies about the present world. most importantly, the bible we have today is not something that is cooked up by many creative authors, nor is it invented by cunning Christian leaders who wanted to start a cult.

the bible is a collection of books written by over 40 authors over a period of 1600 years. wait! didn't you just say that it is not cooked up by people? don't Christians all claim that the bible is God's word? how can you say that it is written by God when there are 40 over human authors who breathed and died just like all of us?

again, this won't be convincing to some of you but lets try.. yes, the bible is God's word. although it is written by so many human authors, God himself is the ultimate author of the books. he probably didn't use a pen to write it down. but through his spoken word and what he did on earth, people diligently recorded down these things in the books. in the 4 gospels of Luke, Mark, Matthew and John, we have the eye-witness account of what Jesus did and said.. I always like analogies so lets say LKY wants to have a biography of himself. but he won't be the one writing it down right? normally, these great people will be telling the biographers what they did in their lives. or they might relate it verbally and voice-record it down before someone translates it into words and pages. so is LKY's biography any less authentic or is there any doubt to the real authorship even though he didn't pen the words himself? probably no right? so that's what happened in the bible. we, as Christians, have no doubt that the real authorship of the bible is God himself.

the bible is divided into the Old Testament and the New Testament. the OT contains books about the creation of the world, God's promises to his people, his commandments, about kings, prophets.. there are also songs and poems. as you can see, it wont be very necessary to talk about the OT as yet, not that it is any less important.

the New Testament begins with the 4 gospels of Luke, Mark, Matthew and John. Gospel means good news. good news about what? good news about Jesus Christ who had come into the world to save people from their sins. (in the OT, the people had been told that a saviour will come into the world to save them) the rest of the NT contains mostly letters to the early Christians encouraging them to stand firm despite all their sufferings, reminding them about what Jesus had done for them and teaching them to hold firm to the truths and not believing in the other false teachers..

so how do we know that the bible is really true and explains events that really happened, specifically that Jesus died and rose again? how do we know that people did not fancifully make this up and create a new religion?

for a start, the 4 gospels that talked about Jesus Christ were based on eye-witness testimony.. they were based on real-life witnessing of what happened.. these witnesses were not merely bystanders who caught bits and pieces of what happened to Jesus. they were also not your usual market-place aunties who heard something from someone else who got it from another someone. the 4 gospels are testimonies of people who interacted with Jesus, listened to his teachings, witnessed his death and even saw him and talked to him after his resurrection.

before I go further, Jesus had 12 disciples whom he picked. these 12 people were very close to him and went with him wherever he went, and he taught them personally about many things. of these 12, Judas Ischariot eventually betrayed him and was excluded. these people are also known as the apostles.

the 4 gospels of Mark, Matthew, Luke and John were written by the people whose names have been attached to the books. how do you know? anyone can write any book and claims that this is the gospel of whatever.. he can even claim that Jesus took a pen and wrote it himself.. that would be more convincing right? why didn't the Christians then think of this? because they didn't make all these up! Strictly speaking, the gospels are anonymous. but the early church and probably people who interacted with these 4 authors mostly agreed to the authorship of the gospels. Matthew, also known as Levi, the tax collector and one of the 12 apostles, wrote the first gospel in the NT. John Mark, a companion of Peter the apostle, wrote the gospel of Mark. Luke, a medical doctor (!) and follower of Paul the apostle, wrote the gospel of Luke. Lastly, John the apostle wrote the gospel of John himself. how do I know all these? I don't. but there are many scholars who devote their whole lives investigating the NT and delving deep into historical documents and they are convinced that the 4 gospels were really written by those 4 people and these were first- or second-hand eye-witness accounts of events. The earliest historical document is that of Papias, a Christian writer, in AD 125 who affirmed that Mark had carefully and accurately recorded Peter's eyewitness observations. another writer called Irenaeus also wrote in AD 180 to confirm the authorship of these 4 gospels.

to tell you the truth, the 4 gospels don't seem like your usual biographies or historical texts when you read them. they are written a bit "weirdly" in modern day context; there are no dates; and specific events are told in great detail while large parts of Jesus' life are left out. but we have to remember that these were written about 2 thousand years ago. most of the literary texts of that time were written this way. more importantly, the authors had specific reasons for describing some events in greater detail than others, to spread the message that Christ had come and died and resurrected and through which we have the forgiveness of sins.

and this leads me nicely to my next point. non-Christians will never argue or question about the discrepancies among the 4 gospels or about whether specific events took place in this place or that or the family lines of Jesus and stuff simply because you have never flipped open the bible. but you will argue with me: aren't all these gospels written by Christians? definitely, they have every reason to fabricate and lie to push their own agenda and to twist and colour history to the specific shade they wanted.. Don't their theological motivations to make Jesus out to be God, to be the saviour cast serious doubt on their ability and willingness to accurately record what happened? this was one of the many questions and doubts at the back of my head when I started reading the bible. and until now, I have to admit that there can be no satisfactory answer.. there is no doubt that these 4 people were Christians. 2 were apostles. the other 2 were disciples of Peter and Paul, both apostles. so the possibility that they embellished certain events to make their story more convincing remains. but in the past and even now, people rarely wrote about dispassionate, objective history with no ideological purpose. from an alternative point of view, an unbeliever who witnessed all that Jesus did and yet refused to believe in him would never write a book about him, or perhaps he would even write a book that distorts certain things about him so as to convince people not to believe in him.

to draw a modern day parallel, some people, for anti-Semitic purposes, downplay the atrocities of the holocaust. similarly, the Japanese refuse to admit the great number of massacres and atrocities they did. but it has been the Jewish scholars who deligently recorded eyewitness accounts, preserved documents and wrote books to record accurate history about the holocaust. the Chinese and the Malayan people would probably have done the same thing about the Japanese invasion. these people are the ones who are the most faithful and objective in their reporting of historical truth. I believe that is what happened regarding the Christians and the bible.

and some of the things described in the gospels are really outrageously bold and even "absurd". some things like Jesus making a blind see again. Jesus walking on the sea.. Jesus rising from the dead.. if these things didn't really happen, and there were so many other people at that time, people would have stood up and condemned the teachings of the apostles, rather than allow these things to be written down and accepted as truths. in fact, there were many critics and opponents of Christ at that time, mostly Jews who refused to accept that Jesus is the saviour promised in the Old Testament. based on the "political" climate at that time, when the Christians were outnumbered and "outpowered", it would have been easy for the critics to simply point out the falsehoods, inaccuracies and discrepancies in the Christian message. instead of saying Jesus did not perform the miracles, some of them wrote that Jesus was a sorcerer but he did not do those things by God, as he claimed.

the early Christian movement was weak and fragile, started mainly by the apostles and their disciples. for persevering in reporting what they saw and heard and touched, most of them were jailed, tortured and crucified. if Jesus did not perform those miracles, if he did not die and rose again, I cannot understand why these people were willing to go to such an extent to insist that Jesus did those things, let alone make up all these things out of nothing.. human reasoning tells us that they must have seen and heard the risen Christ. and the early Christians must have been really convinced that all these things occurred or they would not have diligently copied what the original authors wrote and faithfully passed it down.

inevitably, when you start flipping through the bible, you will read about really unimaginable things. the parting of the red sea. Jesus making a paralytic walk again. I am a big skeptic of miracles and supernatural events, even till today.. when I first started going to church, I am always amazed how those people can believe in such things.. then I talked to some of these people and they were surprisingly sane, educated and intelligent.. in the words of our great Father of all ministers, "you said that you went to JC and university, and you are telling me that you believe" in all these miracles and rising from the dead and stuff.. and some of them are even working full-time in church.. and studying the bible as if it is some textbook and analysing it verse by verse.. if this is just something invented by Christians, why the heck are these people getting so serious about it and spending their entire lives working in a church? why are they giving up precious time to study the bible and to teach the bible? why are they so fervent about it and passionately asking people to believe? I reasoned that if something so absurd and ridiculous as a blind man seeing again and demons going into pigs can be believed by these people, there probably might be some truth in them..

and every saturday or sunday, as I stepped into the church or like today at the indoor stadium where over 10,000 people were present to commemorate the Presbyterian Synod's 125th anniversary, I am somehow convinced that we all believed in all that is described in the bible.. even before we start examining the evidence for them.

The Bloody Truth

2006-04-16T21:17:00.000+08:00

It has been a hectic Easter weekend for me. 3 sermons plus 1 online sermon. 2 bible studies cum discussion. and 1 church wedding. I have a number of things to share with u but i shall not jump the gun..

first, I think I should summarise what I wanted to say in the last post. I am sorry for being so long-winded. anyway, here's the summary: according to the bible, there is one god. God had sent his son down to this world about 2006 years ago to do certain things and say certain things that revealed God to us. those deeds and words were recorded in the bible and we are able to know God today through the bible. and the bible is God's word.

I didn't believe in all those right away so I don't expect you to accept those as gospel truth.. but lets assume first that those things are true, that there is a god and he has spoken to us through the bible..

that will allow me to explain the events of Good Friday and its significance. I have deliberately left out something so fundamental and central to Christianity thus far and that something or someone is Jesus Christ. without Jesus Christ, there is no Christianity.. and the things he did and said are central to Christianity and form the basis for the Christian faith.

on Good Friday some 2040 years ago, Jesus Christ was nailed to death on the cross. even my secondary 1 cousin has heard of it and so has everyone of u who are reading this. and the whole crucifixion has been so vividly depicted in Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ.. when I watched the film, I was still a non-Christian. but I was already investigating the faith so it had extra significance for me then.. behind the blood and the gore, what does all these mean for me? what has it got to do with me?

I had already read then that Jesus died on the cross because of our sins. this is also one of the most important points of Christianity. and possibly the hardest to fully understand and accept. Jesus died on the cross for my sins. I thought of that statement for many months. in the beginning, it was utter disbelief. it just did not make sense. I thought it was some idea conjured up by Christians. that was my idea of religion then, that they were all made up by man..

but as I started to attend Just Looking and church services, I realised that the Christians really believed that it happened. it was a historical event that really took place. and they took it really seriously. I was amazed but at the same time bewildered. I cannot believe that the people there, some of them lawyers, teachers, doctors, undergraduates, can believe in something like that. that this person called Jesus Christ was crucified on the cross and because of this act, it wipes off all our past wrongdoing and we are saved.. it was ridiculous and absurd to me then..

but even before I get further, do u think u have done anything wrong? for myself, it was not hard for me to accept that I have sinned. maybe not the word sin then. but I can readily accept that I am not a good person. I have done many wrong things in the past. including things like cheating in a common test.. telling lies to my parents.. watching and surfing pornography.. and many more. and yup, u can never judge a book by its cover and I believe each of us has his/her own darkest secrets.. and u know what, it is not as if we do not know what is right or what is wrong. we know that it is wrong to cheat and lie and surf porn.. our conscience tells us that they are wrong. even the most cold-blooded murderer knows that it is wrong to kill.. yet in a moment of impulse or caught in this self-perpetuating cycle of denial and wrongdoing, we continue to do wrong.. of course, it is easy to condemn the rapists and the serial murderers who made it to the frontpages but the only difference between our wrongdoings and theirs is that theirs are punishable by law and ours aren't or ours are still under cover and haven't yet been caught. and interestingly, I realise that there are times I deperately want to do what is right but end up giving in to my temptations and doing the opposite. do u feel at times u can't help it when u utter a vulgarity, talk bad about someone or hate someone? do u feel that as u grow older, u start to rationalise things and start to accept your wrongdoings?

and I suggest to u that that is the essence of sin, that we know what is right and yet persist in doing wrong. and at the heart of sin is the rejection of God and a stubborn disobedience to his laws and commands. we want to do things our way.. we do things to gratify our desires.. we do things to please ourselves. we don't want God in our lives to dictate what we should do. we even choose not to believe in God..

and the result of all these is punishment and death. why? because God cannot stand our rebellion and wrongdoings.. he cannot turn a blind eye to our sin.. he is not a "bochup" god. the best way i can put it is this. God is like a human father who loves his son dearly. yet his son did all sorts of things that upset him.. his son rejected his father's authority over him and even refused to recognise him. as a result, the father punished his son and disowned him.. he can no longer go back to his home..

yet God, out of his love, gave us a lifeline.. which we have done nothing to deserve. this lifeline is his son Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is God who came in human form. He was perfect and without sin. yet he sacrificed his life for all our sins. so that because of his sacrifice, God can now accept us and forgive us if we put our trust in Jesus Christ.. and we know that God had accepted this sacrifice because Jesus Christ was resurrected on the third day. if he had remained dead like all mankind, it would have meant that the sacrifice was futile and insufficient.

to put it back into the analogy, despite the father's anger, he still loved his son. one day his son was caught for drug trafficking and was sentenced to death. at this point, the judge took off his robe and wig and pronounced this son not guilty. instead, the judge walked over and took his son's place and would be the one who would be sent to the gallows. the son finally realised his father's love for him.

as much as this analogy is imperfect, the bible sums it up "For God so loved the world that he sent his one and only son to die on the cross for our sins, that whoever believes in him would never perish but have everlasting life."

and that is the bloody truth I have for u.. again this is one big chunk of info which I emphasise again I am not forcing u to believe in. I am just trying to explain the Christian faith here.. if u think it's rubbish, I will urge u to think why it is rubbish and what evidence do u have to support that it is rubbish.. and I will give my two cents worth in my next post about why it is not rubbish. but I guess most people will play the goody-two-shoe and say, "well, I respect your religion but I have the right to believe in anything." and I have to say this must be the most effective statement in response to everything I have said. I say man have sinned. you say: that's what u say or what ur bible says, I am entitled to my own beliefs. I say those who don't believe will be punished. you say: I don't buy your crap and you guys are bloody arrogant for insisting that your bible is superior to everything else on earth.

you see, I am trying to reason with you here. we believe in what we believe because of the bible. your defence is based on human emotion and gut feel. I feel that there is no God. I feel that there are many Gods. I feel that God loves me. I feel that God allows me to do this.. if there is no one God, then there is no right and there is no wrong. our world teaches us to believe in diversity, multi-truths and relativity. versus absolute Christianity. if absolute Christianity is to be right, then it better has some strong proof and basis for its claims. then again, u can always say that Christianity is absolutely right and the others are absolutely right as well.

I shall attempt to explain why the bible, and thus Christianity, is true in my next post.. and I would rather at the end of it all, u take either one of these 2 stands: Christianity is right vs Christianity is wrong..

Godiva chocolates

2006-04-10T14:49:00.000+08:00

Since Good Friday and Easter are coming, and my clinical group decided to have an early day at the polyclinic, and I just haven't been able to start typing my case write-up, I might as well use this time to share with you about.. no, not chocolates.. God.. haha..

There are a few ways I can start talking about Christianity. I can begin with the bible, about Jesus Christ, about the meaning and purpose of life, about sin, about religion as a whole blah blah.. But I feel that without a common platform to start off, there is really not much point talking about anything else. And that common point is the existence of God.

I used to be very constrained and narrow-minded in my thinking when I ponder over the existence of God. I think at some points in our lives, whether or not we believe in a god, we start to think about how we came into existence, how this world came about and stuff.. And it is a very unsatisfying process thinking about such things, cos by looking at ourselves and at the things around us, we are no better understanding how these things came about. For myself, as I grew older, I began to reject the idea of God. All the scientific education I got taught me that unless something is evidence-based and scientifically proven, it cannot be true. We are constrained by what we see and hear now. We are constrained to think that science can explain everything in the world.

I have no doubt that science is real and true. But the role of science is constrained in itself. It is not all-encompassing. We can go as deep as the smallest particles including the electrons and the protons to explain how sodium and chlorine can form sodium chloride and as far as Jupiter and Saturn and beyond to explain what goes on in their atmospheres. But thats about all science can explain. It can only explain the things we can see and observe. Whether or not there is something behind and beyond the things science observes - something of a different kind - this is not something science can answer. I am not yet saying if there is "something behind", I am just saying that science is limited in such a way that it cannot make any statement on whether or not there is an existence of such a "something". In other words, what I am getting at is this: just because we have not seen God, we cannot conclude that God does not exist (and at this point we also cannot conclude that he exists).

Once you agree with me on this point and be open to the idea of god, we can start to find out whether God really exists. This will not be easy and it will take some time to grapple with.. that is if you think it is an important issue to think over..

It is not an easy task finding out whether there is a higher being up there (or anywhere) because we cannot rely on science to help us (as explained above). I have to copy an idea wholesale from a book I read, hopefully Vaughan Roberts wouldn't mind.. This is the scenario:

A group of people were born in a locked room and lived their entire lives in it. The people had frequent discussions about the world outside. A says that he has studied the room for years and that it was very well-designed. He also found an electric fan which he had dismantled and found out its mechanisms, how it worked and stuff. Could the room and the fan have come about by chance? But doesn't the marvelous design of the fan point to the existence of a "something" outside the room who made it and put it there? But he acknowledges that, since no one has seen anything except what exists inside the room, it is possible that there is nothing else besides the room.

B1 protests violently. His mother has told him that the world outside is inhabited by many creatures of which the monsters have long long ago locked man's ancestors in the room. But one day the angels will come and open up the room and liberate the people living in the room. B2 disagrees and says the truth is that there are no monsters, only angels who have placed people in the room for a little while to look after it. One day, they will be released.

C brushed aside all of them. The room is all that there is. Why waste time thinking about the outside world? The most important thing is the here and now. Enjoy things while they last. Why get so uptight over things that we have no definite answer to?

D told the people that he had visions and dreams of giants ruling the world outside. And there were many such rooms with people inside. They will be inside the rooms forever. He feels that different people will have different ideas of the outside world. The truth lives inside everyone, according to what he/she thinks/feels. People should not condemn what others feel or think about the outside world because everybody has a right to decide for himself what is true.

I think it is not hard to see the point I am trying to make here. We are like the people living in the room trying to find out if there is a god out there. It will be a good start to be like A. At least, he is open to the idea of a god out there. B1 and B2 believe in God/s. But they have different ideas of who God is and what he does. Can both their gods possibly co-exist? What is the basis for their beliefs? Is there proof? Or is it plain family tradition? C is the materialist who lives for the present. Eat, drink and be merry. Refuses to entertain thoughts about God. D is the goody-two-shoe and is most well-liked. He understands the need for some purpose in life and chooses to believe in some religion. He lives a moral and "godly" life. He is tolerant of other religions. You have the right to believe in your God. I have my right to believe in mine. All are true. All can coexist in harmony. As long as we don't do anything harmful and treat people well, we are good people.

There is a diversity of beliefs and non-beliefs. Is there one truth? Is there one God? Can we ever know the truth about God, if there is one? The Christian answer is there is one. And only one. I know Christians have always been accused of being proud, arrogant, snobbish and full-of-themselves because they (from a non-Christian point of view) insist that their religion is the only true religion. Their god is the only god. Their religion is the only way to get into heaven. Slams door. Throws eggs at them. Spit. Full of rubbish. Don't ever try to talk about Christianity to me again. The eggs and the spit can remain. But perhaps you can open the door slightly and listen to me for a while.. At least listen to the whole story before you slam the door..

If we are forever trapped in this "room" and have no idea of the world outside, we can only at best speculate about whether there is a god outside. We can formulate our own set of beliefs about God. We can listen to passed-down stories about God from our ancestors. There is no definite truth. Then it makes D's argument logical. Everyone is right about God. God is whatever we make him out to be. That makes C's argument logical too. Cos then it doesnt really matter how we live our lives. Eat, drink and be merry and then die. After death? We will think of it when we die. Enjoy the present first. If there is no real truth and no real God, I will be a strong proponent of C. What does it matter? We will all die anyway, lets enjoy it while it lasts!

But the Christian bible has some very strong claims about God. God exists. He created the "room". He created human beings. In the past, he "popped" into the "room" now and then to appear to one or two people. He told them his plans for the world and what humans should do. He also had a son, who was with him from the beginning. More recently (that is 2000++ years ago), he sent his son into the "room" for a little while. This would be the definitive appearance of God. He would not appear again until one specific day in future. While in the "room", God's son told the people about God. A group of people who were closest to God's son wrote down everything he said and did during that short while (with the help of God) and compiled them into the 4 gospels.

And that is what we have today. Everything that we can know about God is in the bible. And it is all that we have. His son has appeared personally to our ancestors and they have dutifully passed the message down to us. If we are in a room, the only true way to be sure that God exists is if he comes into the room and tells us. Or theoretically we can get out of the room, see God and come back to tell the others. No one has done the latter. The former? No one living now has ever seen God.. because God has chosen to appear only once 2000 years ago to some people. (I don't know why) But he had come into the room before.. so there is indeed a god. The bible says that he exists.

I cannot say anything about other religions and their Gods. Maybe they have some basis for their beliefs, maybe not.. But the bible says that there is only one god. So if the bible is not something made up by man, then Christianity is true and the rest are false. If I say that the rest are true also, then Christianity becomes a lie and I am wasting my time here being a goody-two-shoe.

The whole truth (or lie) of Christianity hangs on the reliability of the bible. There is nothing else. If any part of the bible is proven to be false, we Christians are no more than fools believing in a lie and trying to rope in others to believe in the same lie, while getting ridiculed, spat and thrown eggs at.. Ok la, it is not that bad.. I am exaggerating a bit. Then again, people in some countries are being tortured and executed for converting to Christianity. So much trouble for a lie and a god that doesn't exist?

I am thankful to God if you are a non-Christian and patient enough to read till this line.. I will blog again soon =) Do keep your door slightly open.. ha..

Amazing Race!

2006-04-04T09:48:00.000+08:00

How shiok is family medicine posting? Now I am slacking at home in front of my comp.. and the GP clinic and the polyclinic is a mere 10, 15 minutes bus ride from my house..

Anyway, it was a much needed rest at home after a gruelling 5 hour plus adventure race in the southern part of Singapore on Sunday. Do you realise that your muscles are the most sore the second day after any sporting activity? Now, almost every other muscle group is suffering from the effects of Sunday's exertion..

But it was extremely fun and enjoyable though tiring. Team comprised of me, Danny (church friend) and William (Danny's friend). It was a team event, meaning three of us would start together and do the race together. Thus each team was only as fast as the slowest guy. We started off from Padang. Waited 30 agonising minutes for the "VVVIP" (which I don't even recognise) to saunter in and finally flag us off at 8.30 am. Ran towards Temasek Tower where our bicycles were deposited earlier. But before we could get on our bikes, our first challenge: inflate this longish balloon and following the instructions given on a piece of paper, make it into a sword. The instructions were simple enough. Problem was: we couldn't even inflate the balloon. We were told to bring a bicycle pump during the race briefing, but no one would have thought that it was for inflating balloons. The nozzle couldn't fit into the opening of the balloon and there was no way we could blow it up. We decided to forfeit the challenge. And take the 15 minute time penalty which will be added on to our final time.

Next, we cycled to Mount Faber, deposited our bikes and ran up to the peak where we were given another challenge. Find the bearing of the place we were given (we got Manila). That was simple enough. Next up. We were supposed to shade "ADVENTURE SINGAPORE 2006" all in capitals, using the tourist information boards or plagues (whatever u call them) on the walls. That was a little tougher than u would imagine. Cos there were only limited capital letters we could find on the walls. And there were so many teams trying to shade the letters. We also ended up improvising and using "A" to shade "V", and inverting "9" to shade "6".

Next stop, Telok Blangah Hill by foot. Challenge: There were 7 different hand signals depicted on a few pieces of paper. They represented 7 alphabets which we were supposed to decipher from the key given to us. A, H, E, T, W, R, E. We were then supposed to unscramble the letters to form a word. Again, it may seem easy while u are sitting down and all the blood is going to your brain. At that moment, with all the adrenaline pumping and the blood shunted from our brains, we could not really think properly. After 10 over minutes, I finally thought of the answer. (By now u should have got it, right?) Should have practised on more Scrabble at home.. it would probably have saved us 10 minutes. Don't think my 10km runs could have saved that much time haha..

Then it was back to our bikes and our next stop was Sentosa. It was Tyrolean Traverse next. Basically, this is like flying fox, just that you are being hung horizontally face up, and you are supposed to pull yourself across from one point to another. That was quite fun!

Team biathlon was next. One bike shared among three of us. We were allowed to take turns to bike and run. This was more tiring than expected and all the cramps started to set in. Furthermore, I volunteered to run the whole route cos of my less-than-fantastic bicycling skills.

We then had our first attempts at Sodoku. Again, if we had known, we would have spend some time practising this rather than clocking mileage on the roads. I don't think the puzzle was very tough and with some collaboration with other teams, we managed to solve the puzzle in about five minutes. I must say Sodoku is quite an interesting game haha..

We were back to the mainland after that and we made our way to Marina South. And got caught in a massive bottleneck under Benjamin Sheares Bridge. The station was ascending ropes. Basically, you are supposed to climb up 2 ropes (about 9 metres or so) using some special equipment provided. Only two members were required to do this. I decided to give it a miss cos Danny and William had done it before (though I did try it during the skills test the week before). Ended up waiting 40 over minutes before completing the station.

Abseiling (or rappeling) was next. One member had to do the free abseiling down Benjamin Sheares. The other two would have to do the diagonal abseil. This was rather fun too.. No muscle power needed, just letting gravity do its job. Furthermore, spirits were high cos we were nearing the end.. We even had the luxury of getting 100 plus along the Esplanade while making our way to the next station. A mixed team that passed us were rather bemused. haha..

The penultimate challenge was nothing much.. Just a short 30-metre swim near the Merlion while taking note of 2 photographs on the wall. We were later quizzed on what were on the 2 photographs.

Then the sprint (more like a leisure jog actually) towards the finish line. Then a 5-metre tall kiddy rock wall. 5 hour plus plus plus, without factoring in the 15-minute time penalty. We still have not figured out whether it was 15 minutes per team or 15 minutes per member. But at the end of the day, the goal is really just to finish the race..

It may seem crazy spending a Sunday morning and afternoon torturing ourselves.. Not to mention the amount of money we spent. 60 dollars registration per person, 50 dollars for renting my mountain bike.. and all the racing equipment, attire and food.. But I thought it was worth it. There will not be many more opportunities for me to try this.. Not when I am being caught in a 36-hour shift as a house officer or when I am 50 plus years old..

CLK Convertible 2

2006-03-30T23:29:00.000+08:00

I completed Just Looking soon enough. Unknowingly, I had attended 2 months of church. I got to know some of the PUNJ people better. Going to church on Saturdays became routine. I was working part time at MOS burger then. I even made sure my work days do not fall on Saturdays. I moved on to another series of bible studies called Back to Basics looking at different topical themes about Christianity like faith, grace and good works among others.

By then, I was already quite convinced of the Christian message intellectually. But there was a strong reluctance to commit totally to the faith. There were many obstacles. Being in a non-Christian family brought up some issues.. I also wondered how it would be perceived by my non-Christian friends. Then of cos the biggest obstacle was Swsnbn. I did not know then whether I was converting for her sake. And the balance certainly tilted in that direction however hard I tried to convince myself otherwise. But I knew it was too frivolous a reason to convert like that. And deep down, I told myself that I needed some assurance that there be some kind of permanence and stability to this relationship before I would convert. It was a massive dilemma.

That assurance never came. But God probably knew that was what I needed. With S around, I would never be able to come to a clear decision whether to accept Christ or not. That decision would also be very much clouded by many things. With her out of the picture, I was finally able to logically and objectively decide for myself whether I really believed in Christ and had decided to follow Him. There was then no more reason other than the facts about Christ for me to attend church. I thought that I would just stop wasting my time and save my Saturdays to do the things I like. I had every reason to hate Christianity and God for things not turning out my way. But somehow, I stayed on. The facts of Christ grew on me and eventually, I did convert.

I could not remember the exact day on which I accepted Christ. Or perhaps I allowed him into my heart over several days. But over these 2 years or so, through numerous sermons, books, bible studies and coversations with Christians, I have grown in the knowledge of Christ and am increasingly convinced that what we believe in has not been made up and is of the truth..

I am realistic about what this blog can do. I don't think that people will believe just because of what I say here. But it might be a tiny step.. It might be God stretching his hand out to you.

CLK Convertible

2006-03-29T13:59:00.000+08:00

The title is my own lame attempt to pique your curiosity in reading this post. This post has been in the works for 3 months actually. Yes, you didn't hear or see wrongly. 3 months. I started harbouring thoughts of sharing this since December last year while I was preparing to share my testimony during this Christmas party organised by my church's youth group called PUNJ (Poly, Uni, NS, JC). But I felt a lot of inertia. Laziness is one thing. The biggest problem is that of "face" and pride. And I wonder whether this is really helpful.. So if you are reading this, perhaps you can do me a great favour by taking off your tinted glasses and reading this objectively. It will be more useful too if you focus on the things that are truly important.

I thought it will be a good start to this blog by telling you how I converted to Christianity. Along the way, I will share with you some of the things I went through after I believed. But this post will be mostly about the initial part when I was first exposed to the faith. I cannot avoid talking about certain people or my testimony might end up sounding like this: Somehow, through God's mercy, I stepped into Adam Road Presbyterian Centre (ARPC) one fine day, I found out more about the bible and another fine day, voila! I believed in Christ. But I shall not name people here (though some of you know who they are) and I will try to focus on the right things.

So here goes.. Testimony just means telling people how one became a Christian. Or a witnessing to how God came into their lives. Of course the best testimony is still God appearing and telling us who He is. More on that another day.

I was a non-Christian. Actually everyone is, even those people born in Christian families, contrary to what most people believe. So the point I want to make is that I came from a non-Christian family. My parents are traditional Taoist-Buddhists who pray to all kinds of deities and they also practise ancestral worship. I used to just follow what they are doing and as a kid, you basically monkey-see-monkey-do without believing in anything. As I grew older, I did question the purpose of doing all these and I came to the conclusion that they were just all part of tradition. I think in JC, I sort of decided that there is no God in this world. Religion is just something that Man came up with long long time ago to settle their spiritual needs. To me then, what you see is what you get (WYSIWYG). There is nothing beyond what can be explained by science. Big bang is how the world came about, if that is what the scientists claimed. Newsweek had a whole article on it with super profound theories and explanations. Science equals truth. Same goes for evolution. Another super profound article. Theories and evidence I cannot understand but I believed in them. I am opening up a huge can of worms here.. But that was as accurate as I can describe my feelings then. God? Where got (pun intended)? Show me and I will believe. Life after death? Come back and tell me after you die. Punishment as depicted in the eighteen levels of hell at Haw Par Villa? Scary? Yes if you want to frighten little kids.

Furthermore, I had very little contact with Christian people in sec school and JC. There were not many Christians in my extended family as well. The few Christians I know did not tell me anything about their faith and they seem just like anyone I know. But I did know about Christianity here and there.. My friends will tell me how their Christian friends will drag them to church. The "funny" things they do in there. And of course invariably the idea that Christians go to heaven and non-believers go to hell will ruffle a few feathers. To me then, it was utter rubbish. In the first place, do heaven and hell even exist?

Perhaps I shall explain about this before I carry on. "So we non-Christians will go to hell la?" I think at that point of time, when I ask that question, the motive was not really to clarify the point, or to find out about a certain fact. The answer to that question is as obvious to the Christian as it is to the non-Christian. The motive was merely to condemn the whole idea. And to make the Christian seem arrogant, unflexible and conservative. In the first place, some people don't even believe that hell exists when they ask that question. If you are already super convinced that Christianity is a pack of lies, then I don't even think it is a fair question to ask. But if you are curious about what Christianity is all about, then you got to take a step back and look at that question from another angle. Perhaps a fairer question will be "Why do Christians think they will go to heaven?" This, I will also eventually talk about.

Back to my testimony.. Eventually in uni, I did come across this Methodist Caucasian evangelist who came to talk to me at an MRT station. Forgot what he talked about.. something about my current religion and whether I believed in God. I can't remember what I said too, probably something along the lines of "I am not interested, please leave me alone". Funny thing was, I met the same guy a few months later and he approached me again, this time on an LRT while I was on my way home. I was a bit irritated, told him he had already approached me before and thankfully alighted at my stop.

Now that I think of it, it was really quite a coincidence. Or was it part of God's plans? Anyway, He probably decided that a guy will not do and brought another person into my life. I shall tread upon this very carefully.. Lets just call her Swsnbn or she-who-shall-not-be-named. haha.. S and I became good friends.. we went out and stuff la. Inevitably, the issue of religion cropped up. She was a Christian, I wasn't. I did not know what the fuss was. I could have just ended the whole thing and moved on but somehow, I didn't. I started to find out more about Christianity online. She also gave me this book called "Christianity for Dummies" haha.. I also bought "A Purpose-Driven Life" by Rick Warren. So slowly but surely, I was reading about Christianity. But everything was a blur then. There were a lot of Christian jargon I didn't understand. And many of the Christian ideas were very airy-fairy, they didn't sound like they were true. I was not sure whether I believed in them. It was also complicated by the fact that I was finding out about all these not so much for wanting to know God and about the faith.

Later on, a mutual friend invited me to a PUNJ evangelistic party at Novena, this place called Fishy Tales. This was in May 2004. There was a talk that day about Science and God. I readily agreed to be there. She probably didn't need to try very hard. Cos S will be there. That was the spark that set the fire burning even until now. Not so much for the contents of the talk. But for the fact that I was invited to join Just Looking bible studies at ARPC every Saturday and I was now drawn into a church and its activities even though I was still a non-Christian.

It felt weird at first being in a church. Never been inside one so I always thought it was like a Westernized temple. There will be people chanting inside, casting out demons and stuff.. It did not turn out that way. I also felt quite alone and out-of-place. MF (mutual friend haha..) and S attended some other bible study.. I did not see them at all in my first month in the church. I was left to survive on my own in "enemy territory". haha.. I really don't know what kept me going. Maybe it was the people in PUNJ. They were so friendly to me, I felt stressed. haha.. really! The Just Looking studies were a series of 7 lessons looking at who Jesus is and what he did through the bible. I attended all but the first lesson. It was not like I believed right away. Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins. I was like "Eh.. ok.." I had already read that online before I attended Just Looking. I was not really convinced. In fact at the back of my mind, I probably felt that it was crap. But slowly but surely, God was stripping away my defences and resistance layer by layer. I started to attend service by the 3rd or 4th lesson, just out of curiosity. And of cos, I thought S would be there. But 9 times out of 10, I didn't see her there.. By the 10th time, I probably attended service not because of that anymore.. haha.. Anyway, contrary to what I thought, there was no weird chanting or shouting. No special exorcism rites. No casting out of demons. The only weird thing to me then was prayers. I just bowed my head and listened to the person pray. Actually, it was nothing too. He was merely talking about some church stuff and thanking God for something. I liked the songs they sang. Though the lyrics made me feel uncomfortable at times. Then there was a sermon. Actually it was just a talk. I thought the pastor was rather interesting. So my first experience at a church service was not too bad. I even enjoyed it. I forgot what the sermon was about but I felt at peace when I walked out of the building.. To be continued..

Renewed

2006-03-25T11:12:00.000+08:00

Yup this is my new blog! Have been wanting to do this for some time but my comp ran into all sorts of problems. can't use hotmail and msn, then my monitor "turned pink" for whatever reason.

Anyway, was also thinking of how to start off this blog. And what sort of things I should talk about here. If you have read my sidebar, then yup, this blog will mostly be about Christianity. So you have been warned.. ha.. You have the choice of not continuing to read my blog too. Just hope that you don't pass any judgement on me or Christianity. But you are free to give me constructive feedback or ask me questions through my email.

Sidetrack.. Was thinking of the blog address too, and realised so many addresses i thought of have been taken up. So I ended up with claypotrice.. haha.. Actually I was thinking of something to do with jars of clay but jarsofclay has been taken up. So clay leads to claypotrice. So in other words, my blog address has no special meaning :)

I added a counter one month ago. Then i realised today that 35 people have read my new blog. But i haven't even linked my old blog to this current one. Neither have I told anyone about the new blog address. I am a bit puzzled haha..

Ok so back to the reason for starting this blog. It is simply to tell people about Christianity. People always talk about spreading the gospel. Actually gospel just means good news. So rather than spend my time babbling and rambling about my runs and medicine postings, I thought why not tell you about the gospel.

I know I have shared a bit about Christianity in my previous blog. But I felt it was rather haphazard. This blog will sort of consolidate all of my experiences and views and give you a better picture.

I feel that I am in a better position to share about Christianity now cos I have had a better understanding of the faith over these 2 years (or at least I hope so haha..). It was also not too long ago that I was a non-Christian so I still remember some of the struggles and misconceptions I had as a non-Christian.

I know some of you will be going: Why so serious? It is just a religion.. Why you become so holy? He must have been brainwashed.. Crazy fella.. So holier-than-thou.. Well, i can't address all of those but i will deal with some of those things in your minds in my posts. So if those views about me make you come back to my blog to find out why I am so serious and "holier-than-thou", I think I sort of achieved my purpose haha.. If not, it's fine with me.

At the very least, I hope you read this with an open mind. I am not forcing it down your throats and have never intended to. In fact, I am very apprehensive about sharing this online. I am not required to do this too. I won't be punished for not sharing the gospel. I won't be given extra cookie points for doing so. I just felt it important enough to tell you about it. More important than anything else in the world, in my opinion. And I just feel it is much easier to blog about it than talk to you about it. After all, if you haven't realised, I have not been blessed with the gift of the gab. Hopefully, the pen or rather, the keyboard will do the trick..

I am quite glad if you have followed me all the way to this line haha.. And you might as well read the next few posts :)