Kings

A post! Haha..

Really struggling to find time to blog these days.. and when I finally decided to blog, I am so tired that I can’t think of anything worth blogging..

I think I don’t strive very well under stress.. especially stressful when you are doing things for the first time.. one was organizing games for the BB/GB boys and girls.. second was doing the paeds debate.. well I guess the most stressful part for me was the week leading up to these two things, cos its like something is impending, but it has not yet arrived and you are not sure how it will turn out.. the two events went fine.. anyway when you are involved in it, things happen quickly and they are over in minutes.. and I guess the least stressful part is the aftermath.. haha duh.. Actually all my worries and stress were unfounded.. I know it at the back of my head. Yet I still feel stressed. At the end of the day, as long as you do fairly okay, people will still say that you did a fantastic job, especially in Christian settings where people are so accommodating and encouraging.. I think even if it was a disaster, people will still say you did a great job haha.. Anyway, it was a good experience for me preparing and participating in those two events. And valuable lessons learnt. Especially for the debate, I don’t think it was a waste of time. So yup thank God for them!

Maybe share something from today’s sermon which I think has valuable lessons for Christians and non-Christians alike. My church is currently doing a series on 1 Samuel. And today it was from 1 Samuel chapter 8. In short, the passage is about the Israelites at that time asking Samuel (a judge or God’s mouthpiece or spokesperson) to appoint a king over them, just like all other nations had. God’s response was that the Israelites had rejected Him as king and chosen to look for a human king. They had forgotten how He had brought them out of Egypt and had turned to other gods and forsaken Him. God then warned them how they will be enslaved under the reign of the human king and how he will demand their possessions, children, servants and flocks. Yet the Israelites were adamant in their demand for a human king. And God will grant their wish.

I think in many ways, we are just like the Israelites at that time. Sin has not changed in its nature through these couple of thousand of years. Man’s sin is still manifested in the same way in his rebellion against God and rejection of his rule.

For us Christians, we have full knowledge about God. We know that through believing in Jesus, we are saved and that our lives should be offered up totally to him, to serve him and honour him. We are to rejoice in knowing him and serving him. Yet many times, knowing about him rarely equates to knowing him. Even though we already have a great God that is almighty and governs over all areas of our lives, we continue to serve our tiny gods within everyone of us, be it relationships, money, career, entertainment or material things. We continue to ask God for a “king” in our lives. How nice it will be if you give me that wonderful job in that MNC? How nice it will be if I can get a raise next month? How nice it will be if I get together with so and so? And live happily ever after. So are we shifting our trust in God which He expects from all of us, to a misplaced trust in things of this world?

When I was a non-Christian, I really long for the things of this world. To do well in school, to get a good job, move up the social strata, earn my millions, marry a good wife, have nice kids, retire in some rustic countryside and die peacefully. To a certain extent, these “wants” are still there consciously or subconsciously. But if you think about it, it is a really futile existence building your lives around these things. Many of these things don’t last and many times, these things are not within our control. Not many people are born with good brains. Not many people have the luck to make it big in the business world. Relationships have always been fraught with problems. Of course, some have been able to achieve some of these things through sheer grit and hard work. But at the end of the day, is it worth spending your whole life chasing after these things? I don’t know. As sinful people, some of us will still claim that it is worthwhile aiming for these things in life. Especially if you don’t believe in a god. If this life is all there is, the be all and end all, then the only things that can keep us going will be all the things mentioned above. But if you believe in a god, God is saying here that He does not want us to be enslaved by all these things. To spend our entire lives chasing after things that are temporary and to the point of being their slaves, being slaves to work, being slaves to money and being slaves of this world. Instead what God offers is a life to serve him, to live under His reign, and be free from the shackles of this world. Freedom instead of slavery. Eternal life instead of death.

Perhaps what we all need are not the little kings we all yearn, but what we do need is God the king. What we do need is a new heart to serve God and God alone. What we do need is to repent of our sinful ways and to turn to God for forgiveness.

PLT Retreat

Just returned from the PLT* retreat held at NACLI. And I have to say that it was a very fruitful and edifying 2 days or so spent there. And it was a wonderful 2 to 3 months learning how to understand God's word, how to package it into a study and how to convey the message to group members.. As I mentioned earlier, only God knows how He wants to use me to serve the church and really, whether as a leader or not in future, the lessons learnt from PLT will never be forgotten.

We covered the book of Exodus at the retreat. I have never really liked reading the old testament.. always found it long and laborious.. sleep-inducing.. and I always have difficulties relating the events that occurred during the Israelites' time to my own life or even to the present world.. But perhaps because of the depth in which we covered Exodus and due to the efforts spent preparing for the studies, it suddenly daunted on me how amazing God's word is, even in the old testament.. It is amazing and comforting at the same time, to know that this is the same God that brought the Israelites out of Egypt that has given us the hope of salvation today. And that God has always been faithful to His promises, down to the smallest details.. And it is wonderful to know that all His promises have been fulfilled in the work and person of Jesus Christ.

Anyway for those less acquainted with the bible, Exodus is a book from the bible. Perhaps you can better strike a chord with the cartoon Prince of Egypt, where Moses was chosen as the leader to bring God's people out of slavery in the land of Egypt.

I had a good time interacting with the people at PLT.. Despite being the youngest person there, both physically and spiritually, I had no problems communicating with the people there.. and like last year's church camp, I find that such camps really allow people to get to know one another better.. And really, I can see how the gospel unites people from different backgrounds, ages, occupations and stages in life.. This truly is the fellowship or partnership in the gospel that the book of Philippians is talking about. You can really see the enthusiasm in how they want to know God and serve Him.. Their humility in wanting to learn from God's word and from one another.. Their love in encouraging one another even when the bible studies might not be particularly well-led, and in taking the effort to know one another better..

In fact, in our 2 days there, we didn't even have a television.. and I thought I wouldn't survive a day without the world cup haha.. and the food wasn't fantastic either.. there was nothing much to do there.. no outdoor activities either.. But with our bibles, with our spirits of wanting to learn from God's word and some games like Rummy and Taboo, we more than made up for what we lacked.. and I might even go further to say that perhaps, this gives us an inkling of what heaven is like.. that God's people are under God's rule, being spiritually satiated by His word and thriving on His word, and having perfect fellowship with one another..

Wee Seng summed up the retreat with a study of the book of Titus in the new testament. There is really no other way in which the gospel can be passed down. And there is no other way people can be spared from God's wrath. Through Jesus, the gospel came to the 12 apostles, through the apostles, anointed leaders, and through generations of leaders, us today.. And how can the gospel and the good news of salvation be passed to other people and future generations? through the leaders today.. And the baton we are passing on is not a leadership post or position, but it is the gospel, no more and no less.. that the gospel must be passed on in truth and sound doctrine, so that people might live godly lives as we wait for the blessed hope!


*Potential Leaders' Training

Religion

I know some of you have been checking my blog regularly.. just couldn't find time to sit down and type a post properly.. blame the world cup haha..

Thought I should talk a bit about this concept of religion. If u go to dictionary.com, it will give you a few definitions, of which I find these three more understandable and more commonly perceived.
1. Belief in and reverence for a supernatural power or powers regarded as creator and governor of the universe.
2. A set of beliefs, values, and practices based on the teachings of a spiritual leader.
3. A cause, principle, or activity pursued with zeal or conscientious devotion.

You know, before I came to accept christianity, I have always held on to the second definition, that religions, including christianity, are nothing but sets of beliefs and values based on teachings of a spiritual leader. So Islam is based on teachings of Prophet Mohamed, Christianity Jesus, Buddhism Buddha... To me, these were just teachings from man.. Sets of beliefs and values that would make your life complete, more meaningful and make you a better person.. And to me, if these were created by man, like you and me, I find religion futile and unnecessary. After all, who do I need to teach me how to live my life? Really, even without religion, there are people who are honest, kind, gentle, humble, generous and amicable..

In that aspect, Christianity was never meant to be a religion. It was never meant to be a set of beliefs or a way of life.. It was never meant to teach you how to live a better life or how to be nice to everyone.. so that puts to nought any talk that "Christianity is not a religion for me", "I have no need for religion at this point in my life" and "I will think about religion next time, right now I will concentrate on my career and finding a partner".. because all the above statements assume that Christianity is merely a set of beliefs created by a man. If it is just a set of man-made ideas, I fully agree with you that you can put them aside and get on with the more important areas of life..

I reread my own posts many times.. and I think I do sound arrogant and overly defensive at times. but I need to put some ideas across strongly to make my point.. and really, what do I have to boast about? that I became a Christian? that was entirely by God. that I am morally superior to you? never.. cos I am as sinful as each and everyone of you reading this post. So I hope you wont be put off by my "arrogance" here..

Ok what about the third definition? I think unknowingly, all of us hold on to our own gods and religions.. right now, many of us are worshipping the gods who earn more in a week than what I will earn in a year just by kicking a ball around.. you get the idea. there are so many other religions we subscribe to. studies, work, career, girlfriend, boyfriend, finding a girlfriend/boyfriend, health, fitness, food.. but actually all the above can be summed up in the worship of one thing - self. If you think carefully about it, all of those things are just self-worship. living for oneself, and pursuing things and relationships to satisfy yourself.. After all "It's my life!" isn't it? I live it the way I want it to be.. as long as I am happy..

Just before I became Christian (how many "before I became Christian"s do I exactly have? a lot haha..), I thought I found the perfect religion I wanted, a relationship. As much as I thought I was doing things to make her happy and stuff, at the heart of everything I did, it was really just a worship of myself, to make myself feel happy.. and there were indeed a lot of "emotional highs" during those few months of courtship/worship.. so much so that when it all ended, I was left with a void in my life.. I read my private blog post I posted during the "aftermath", and it read something like moving on in my life, concentrating on my studies and my career.. and isn't it something we all do in our lives? moving on from one aim to another aim in life.. from worshipping one god to another god.. fortunately, I came to believe in one true god..

To us Christians, Christianity is a religion only based on the first definition. The belief, worship and reverence of one true God, the creator of the universe.

And it is for this reason that I am so zealous in talking about religion on my blog.. And Paul puts it best:
"The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them. For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.

For although they knew God, they neither glorified him nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles. ... They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshipped created things rather than the Creator.."

Indeed, I am not saying things like career, cars, family, money and relationships are bad things.. Neither did God say that these things are bad because they are created by Him. But really, how long do these things last? Are we deceived by this world to put all our lives and energies in these things that are transient and temporary? In that sense, are we exchanging and giving up the truth of God for a lie?

Family Photos at Malacca

Not Bad Wat..

"Not bad wat.." "Not bad mah.." "Not bad leh.."
I realise many of us like to use the phrase "not bad". I guess it shows some kind of humility. At least it is slightly better than saying, "Lousy la.. I only got 80." So in actual fact, when one says something is not bad, he is saying it is good. But being humble people, we would rather tell others we are not bad and let others tell us that we are good.

Anyway that was a little out of point.. From a normal human point of view, I think a lot of things can be not bad. In fact, a lot of things can be good. And there are lots of good people around too. People who donate generously to charities. People who are truly humble, down-to-earth. People who have no hatred, no malice, no ill-intent. People who do not gossip and spread rumours. People who help others altruistically. But people who satisfy all of these are few and rare. For the mortals like you and me, we would just like to think of ourselves as " well, not too bad la.."

Sometimes, it does make me ponder.. As I look at the people around me, Christians and non-Christians alike, I think these people are not too bad. After all, they are not going around killing people or stealing or cheating. They are sincere people. They love their families and friends. They study and work hard. They are filial. Granted the few vulgarities and the few gossips and rumours and the occasional stare or comment at the babe that walked by, I don't think these were done with much malice or ill-intent..

And then there are the true angels out there. People who really have a kind heart. People who are selfless and self-sacrificial.

So how can such people be punished if God is really a fair God? I don't really know the answer.. Sometimes it bothers me that I am saved but the, in my opinion, nicer and better people around me aren't.. I guess it gives me more reason and encouragement to live a life that is worthy of being saved.

But really, is what we humans define as good really good? What is the cut-off point for gaining entry into heaven? We have this tendency to set our own standards and rules. Perhaps it comforts us to think that we are not too bad people. Perhaps it comforts us to think that what we do is enough and satisfactory. So long as we do not harm other people. So long as we do not break the law.

But if indeed there is a God, then who are we to set the rules? or question the rules set by Him? Maybe by our human reasoning, it seems unfair that everyone is under His judgment.. But He sets the rules and He sets the standards for us.. And the standards are the same for each and everyone of us. In contrast our standards are arbitrary and vary among individuals. To be made right before Him, we must be perfect and spotlessly clean. And the only way to do that, and I know I am sounding like a broken record now, is through faith in Jesus Christ.

It might be comforting to us now that we are treating people sincerely and not doing things that are harming others (though sometimes we harm others unknowingly). But what good is there if this is a just a false sense of comfort and security? What if what we define as good is not good enough in God's eyes?

"All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law. ... This will take place on the day when God will judge men's secrets through Jesus Christ, as my gospel declares." -- Romans

Absolut Joy

Recently, I have had plenty to be joyful about.. henceforth the change in the blog title.
Indeed sometimes I lament so much about my struggles and shortcomings when in fact there is so much to be thankful about. Thank God for the timely reminder in the sermon 2 weeks ago which reminds me to be thankful regardless of the circumstances and to continue to put my trust in him..

I think as Christians, there are always times when we are doubtful.. doubtful of His existence.. doubtful of His will.. I often question whether He is around.. whether He is real.. Sometimes I cannot understand why certain things happen that way.. And from time to time, these doubts will come back and new doubts will develop. And these doubts don't make anyone any less a Christian. In fact, it is during these times of doubts that you begin to dig deep and learn to draw on God's strength and learn to depend on Him.

And it was also in those times of immense stress and hopelessness and doubts that I found God.. During those few months, I was at times helpless, at times disappointed, at times bitter about how things had turned out.. But it was only during those times that I started to ponder over spiritual issues and the meaning of life. It seems that it takes some form of failure and disappointment to make a proud person turn to God for help. And indeed I see that happening around me.

I am really thankful for the two friends that have recently started going to church and beginning to know Christ.. Regardless of the circumstances in which they came to believe, I do hope they continue to put their trust in God and continue to mature in their faith.. Really, it is very encouraging to hear from them how they are beginning to turn to Christ.. it just shows the greatness of God's love, His generosity and His sovereign will.. and really, to anyone willing to receive this gift, He freely pours out His love and mercy.. He will never shut the door on anyone.. not even the most hardened criminal or stubborn soul.

I am glad I took up the opportunity to go for the leaders' course.. Although I can't say for sure that I will be able to lead a bible study in the near future, I think the course has greatly benefitted me in terms of understanding God's word and applying it in my life. Preparing for a bible study requires a lot of time and energy and it really forces you to read God's word properly and thoroughly cos how the bible study is led does not solely impact on the leader alone but also affects the group members' understanding of the bible. And yup, the bible is meant to be taught and learnt.. when I tried to read the bible on my own last time, I could barely understand what it is trying to say, let alone reading it in context or applying it correctly in my life. However, like what my course leader said, the leader of the bible discussion normally benefits the most and understands it fully.. I can't agree more cos leading the bible study has allowed me to understand God's word better.. At the same time, I can better appreciate the pains and efforts put in by my leaders in preparing for the bible studies.. Christian ministry is really hard work, hard work which is often unappreciated and unrewarding.. I can only ask God to guide me as I ponder over in what capacity I can serve the Church in future, in firm assurance that my reward is in heaven..

I rejoice for the relationships I have had with people these past few months.. relationships maintained, forged, and rekindled.. especially the ones that were renewed, I am really thankful to God. Sometimes, I thought as a result of my selfishness, some relationships were on the verge of breaking down.. but thankfully, in Christ, there is no record of wrongs, no conceit, no pride; only forgiveness, magnanimity and humility! also thankful for some new friendships forged or deepened.. these have been a great source of strength and encouragement for me.. especially my new one-to-one bible study leader-cum-buddy-cum-confidante Keeevin, he has been thoroughly encouraging and supportive.. I always go away from my one-to-ones feeling rejuvenated and refreshed. A big thank you to you if you are reading this! =)

To all who have received God's grace, rejoice!

Psalms 150

Praise the LORD.

Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens.
Praise him for his acts of power;

praise him for his surpassing greatness.
Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet,

praise him with the harp and lyre,
praise him with tambourine and dancing,

praise him with the strings and flute,
praise him with the clash of cymbals,

praise him with resounding cymbals.
Let everything that has breath praise the LORD.

Praise the LORD.

Holy Bible or Holey Bible? Part 2

Some updates
Hey everyone, I am a bit hyper now cos I just came back from a jog.. I am elated because I got a mail from someone which made my day! u know, nothing beats knowing that one (in fact two) of your good friends or loved ones is open to the gospel or is being saved.. what can I say? God works according to His purposes and I can only thank God for them.. And I am relieved cos I led 2 bible studies in 3 days unscathed.. I thank God for them too.. I dunno how I survived last week with 2 bible studies to prepare and so many things to do.. but I did! now to take a breather, continue blogging and going back to reading up on neurology.

Da Vinci's Code
I think most of you would have expected me to write something about this. But actually the fact is there are already so many books and articles out there on it, I really got nothing new to add.. haha.. perhaps I shall just summarise some of the more important points from various articles..

Actually I havent watched the movie but I read the book like one year ago so I roughly still know the story.. I think it is an interesting story no doubt.. as a young Christian then, I think I am forced to consider whether some of the things said in the book are true.. it forced me to deal with the facts and not just blindly believe. but I will be lying if I say that my faith wasn't shaken a tiny bit..

that is where Dan Brown is so successful in doing.. he skilfully tries to mix what he claims as "facts" and "real events" with fictional characters and events.. and successfully created a bestselling novel and blockbuster movie. by doing so, he is absolved of any blame of misreporting facts.. at the same time, blurring our perception of truth vs fiction.. in the process, readers are challenged to question whether there can be any absolute truths and tempted to believe that there are none.. he is really good at doing that.. and in the process, tens of millions of dollars richer.. to him, he has achieved his purpose, whether or not his supposed facts in his novel are really facts or not.

Dan Brown defines things his own way. his truths and facts seem to be his own truths and facts.. he claims that he is a Christian trying to decipher life's big mysteries (whatever that means), on his own path to enlightenment, and most incredibly, a student of many religions.. I rest my case. I admit, I hold my own prejudices and biases as I type this.. but I don't think u would expect a non-Christian to be typing this right?

and indeed, I suggest to you, everyone of us here hold our own prejudices as we watch the movie or read the book. as a non-Christian, with little knowledge of the bible and how it came about, you will walk out of the theatre thinking Christianity consists of a spectrum of beliefs ranging from Jesus is God to Jesus is a married man and that a group of people long ago ganged up to edit documents and make Jesus seem to be God when he wasn't. to you, this alternative "fact" is enough to discredit Christianity. case closed. "I knew it.." "I told you so.." but I didn't expect you to be more objective or less biased than this.. after all Dan Brown is such a skilful writer..

still, some of u might be interested in what the "opposition" might have to say. you have a choice!

Da Vinci Code VS Opposition
DVC: The bible is a product of man.. Not of God. the bible did not fall magically from the clouds. Man created it.. History has never had a definitive version of the book.

O: DB got it right, the bible did not fall magically from the clouds. It was written by man. BUT it is God-breathed. It is inspired by God. It was not created from nothing. It is based on historical facts and real-life accounts of people who touched, talked and interacted with Jesus.

DVC: Constantine commissioned and financed a new bible which omitted those gospels that spoke of Christ’s human traits and embellished those gospels that made him god-like. The earlier gospels were outlawed, gathered up and burnt.

O: Constantine was the Roman Emperor from AD 313 to AD 337. He was not a Christian cos he prayed to various gods and accepted many religions in his empire. Thus, he had no reason to commission or finance this "new bible" which made Jesus out to be a god. The earlier gospels were neither gospels, nor were they earlier.. These books were excluded from the bible on the basis that they were not written by first- or second-hand witnesses of Jesus. They were also written 100 to 200 years after Jesus' death.

The gospels that were accepted in today's bible were written by Jesus' disciples or his disciples' close mates or disciples. All these writers lived during the time of Jesus. And all these gospels were written before AD 100. That's like historians writing about Hitler now.

There was no "new bible". As early as 10 to 20 years after Jesus' death, there were already gospels or creeds circulating around and which were already accepted as being authoritative and true. And by AD150, there were reportedly collections of books that were regarded as authoritative. But in AD325, due to the challenge of heresy and fraud, the church leadership decided to clearly define a list of books which have become the New Testament of today. But these books had been circulating for at least 2 centuries..

The accepted books did not embellish Jesus' god-like traits or downplay his human traits. In fact, the bible says that Jesus is fully man and fully God at the same time. Jesus breathed and ate and was tempted in the desert like a human being in the gospels. And he was crucified to death on the cross. The rejected "gospels" were never suppressed. They were available and read by people but were simply not recognized as having the same worth or authority as the accepted gospels. DB also got it completely wrong when he says that the outlawed "gospels" talked about Jesus' human traits. Cos the opposite is true. These false gospels claimed to have some superior revelation from God, were not based on eyewitness accounts, and rejected the belief that Jesus came in the flesh. In other words, these false gospels rejected Jesus' humanhood.

DVC: Jesus’ establishment as the Son of God was officially proposed and voted on by the Council of Nicaea. Jesus’ divinity was the result of a vote. A relatively close vote. Until that point in history, Jesus was viewed by his followers as a mortal prophet, … a great and powerful man, but a man nonetheless. A mortal.

O: Jesus’ divinity was accepted by the twelve disciples soon after his resurrection, way before AD 300. The issue at Nicaea was how the divine Son (Jesus) and Father (heavenly God) were interrelated and whether they share the same substance. No one at the council was contending that Jesus was a mere mortal or just a prophet. The dispute was over whether Christ had a divine substance like the Father's or whether he shared the same divine substance with the Father.

DVC: There were thousands of documents recording that Jesus was a mortal man.These are the Nag Hammadi documents, named after the place they were discovered in Egypt in 1945.

O: There are not thousands of them. Only 45 fragments, parts of documents.
It is agreed by almost all scholars that most of the documents were written in the second or third centuries. Unlikely to be part of the original real documents of the NT, written mainly before 100 AD.

DVC: Mary Magdalene was married to Jesus.

O: This one is a smoke bomb dropped from no where. Don't know where it came from too.. Maybe it came from the gospel of Dan Brown or something.. but good try la.. very sensational.. and makes for good debate.. but none of the gospels, no matter false or true, mentioned that Jesus was married..

Conclusion
Well, actually most of the articles are giving DB too much respect by even bothering to criticise his novel. Cos it is just a fictional story with too many half-truths and absolute lies. You don't use fiction to confirm or disprove anything.. If you would like to think that the bible is false, why not read the bible or attend a sermon? challenge your Christian friends' beliefs or something..

Oh and I have no qualms about reading the book or watching the movie. And no, most churches do not forbid their members from catching the movie. My personal opinion is that: all the more Christians should watch it cos we are not afraid of facing up to challenges to our faith. Only by considering that something might be false can someone come to accept that it is true. And if anything, Christianity is a religion which can be readily defended by evidence and logic.

Lonely, I am so lonely..

Hey it's not what u think it is.. not lonely in that sense. I think I have learnt to put my trust in God. God made us for relationships yes.. but I think relationships are not exclusive to boy-girl relationships or marriages.. friendships, parent-child relationships and sibling-sibling relationships are all equally valuable. and of course, above all, my relationship with God.

but sometimes, I do feel lonely.. sometimes I feel that I am the only one holding on to the faith among the people around me. my parents, my family, my close friends.. sometimes, I doubt about the truth of what I believe and why I believe. sometimes, I feel it is easier to just follow the crowd and throw away all these beliefs.. maybe Christ didnt exist.. maybe, it is like what the Da Vinci's Code says.. that the bible is all made-up and fake.. if it is fake, then what use is my faith and my holding on to these beliefs? why am I going to church? why am I preparing bible studies? why am I reading the bible? why am I spreading the gospel on my blog? why am I praying for my friends and family members to be saved?

really, it is so much easier to just conform to the values of the world. work hard. make lots of money. marry a pretty wife. rear cute children. enjoy life.

sometimes I feel misunderstood. I can almost imagine the things people are saying behind my back. I can even hear them vividly sometimes. I can imagine what they are thinking when they read my blog. I can feel the awkwardness. I can sense the things going through their minds. " oh dear, one day he is going to ask me to go to church.." "he is going to ask me to go to the service again.." maybe I am just imagining things..

maybe this world is all that there is.. sometimes, I wish I had not heard the gospel at all. sometimes I wonder what I will be doing now if I had not gone to church 2 years ago.. probably reading my medical textbooks or something. going out with friends rather than spending 5 hours at church..

Yet, despite all these recurring thoughts these 2 years, I have not given up on the gospel.. somehow, something inside me tells me that this is true. Christ is real. despite all the doubts, I still held on to the beliefs. my doubts also spurred me to question and explore.. and I still arrived at the same answer. Christ is real. sin is real. salvation is real. God 's grace is real.

indeed, often I asked myself why I had converted.. is it because of that "frivolous reason"? is it because I was convicted of my sin? is it beacuse of the bible studies? is it because of peer pressure from the church people? or is it because of the love I had experienced in the Church? I don't know.. but looking back at how I came to the church, the circumstances in which I came to believe and how I grew in my knowledge of the gospel and how I grew in my Christian walk, it seems there can only be one person making sure all these happened.. it seems that He had purposefully made all those things happen so that I could believe and be saved. it seems that He had put certain people in these 2 years of my life to teach me, to encourage me and to guide me in my Christian walk.. it seems that He had painstakingly planned and choreographed each and every step that I took to reach where I am now. it is God.. it must be..

and what more can I ask for? really.. in Christ, I can no longer demand anything else.. and indeed, if something as difficult as saving a sinner like me has been done, what more the little things like studies, work, financial security and relationships..

and despite all the doubts and difficulites I had coming to terms with my faith, I find it difficult to believe that this world is all that there is.. I still find myself asking where did I come from? and for what purpose am I here for? and to where will I return or go when I die? it seems a futile existence if Christ and God were not real.. am I just here to work hard, earn lots of money, marry a good wife, have good kids and enjoy life? then what happens if I don't earn lots of money? if I can't find a wife? if I suffer from cancer and die a painful death? is there meaning in all these then? if not, do I go around looking for some other meaning or is there already a purpose that my maker had long established for me? and still, I find great comfort in knowing that God has made me for a purpose and that I am going to a specific destination when I die and that I will be saved from my sins.

in all these I have nothing to complain or whine about.. as I told someone, it is not: God is all I have, but rather it should be: I already have God, what more shall I need?

Psalm 23
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Absolute relativism

This is going to be my shortest post..
Relativism is absolutely true. this statement contradicts itself. if relativism is true, then there are no absolutes. so the more appropriate statement would be that relativism might be true. considering if relativism is true, then what happens if I think relativism is false? by the nature of relativism, u can't say that what I say is wrong cos relativism says that everyone is right. but if what I say is correct, then relativism is false. so how in the world can relativism be true?

I am not talking about cultural and social norms and preferences here. such things are relative by nature. I like pink, u like blue. there is no truth in what colour to like. so of cos relativism must stand here. same goes for how u want your steak and eggs done..

but relativism is an idea that is fundamentally flawed especially when it comes to God and religion. some people say that all religions are true and all will lead to the same destination.. that is really ignorance at its best.. simply because Christianity says that the only way to know God is through Jesus and Jesus is God, Buddhism says there is no one God and everyone can reach godlikeness or nirvana on their own while Islam says that Jesus is merely a prophet and not God.. so how can these different paths lead to the same destination when they totally contradict each other? how can we be subject to different "systems" when we live on the same earth and breathe the same air?

same goes for the idea that we are perceiving different aspects of the same reality..
if my reality is that your reality is false, then both cannot be true. if both are not true, then one of us (or both) is in error. if one or both of us is in error, then relativism is not true.

ok it's a bit mind boggling.. so take your time to figure that out.

心连心，向前进。

u got to read this post in unicode.

pap's election slogan this year is 心连心，向前进。
well some online forums were suggesting this: 金连金，向钱进。　haha..

anyway, I am not going to discuss about politics here lest my blog gets shut down or something. but as I went through the weekend's sermon and bible study, one theme was rather glaring. and it was that of sin. and I suggest to you this: sin连sin, 向泉进。　泉是指黄泉的泉。

this topic of sin is rather hard to broach.. I mean deep down we are all proud people, and we do not want people to tell us that we are bad people.. so even when some churches evangelise to non-christians, theirs is a message of comfort, solace and meaning in life. come embrace christianity, God loves you and will give you life. God will comfort you in your sorrows. Christianity will provide you the meaning you are looking for in your life. if you want to know how to live the perfect life, Christianity is the answer.

but if I tell you that the true message of Christianity is that you need Jesus because you have sinned, many of you will be rather turned off.. i think the message of the true meaning of life and the love and comfort Jesus can provide is probably more palatable and easy to swallow. but I don't think that is the point. if I were to be faithful and true to God's word, then the message of sin must be told first before the message of love.

the rationale is simple. there is a problem. there is a consequence of this problem. and there is a solution. without a problem, there is no consequence and obviously, what solution is there to talk about?

The bible says, "As it is written: there is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. all have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one." the problem of mankind is this: all man have sinned by rejecting God and refusing to obey his commands. the consequence: "the way of the wicked will perish." (Psalms 1)

the consequence of sin is death. therefore, as much as we can prolong our lives in this day, all of us will one day die. and this death is a result of the sin we all have.

I don't know about you, but I have never failed to realise how bad or sinful a person I am, even before I became a Christian. perhaps that makes it easier for me to believe in the bible. and in fact, one of the reasons why I was first convinced of the message is that what the bible says about sin really applies to me. and it makes a whole lot of sense to me. and that is a crucial first step, to acknowledge that all of us here, no matter how hard we try to be good people, have sinned and have fallen short of God's standards.

I am not sure if I can explain this well but I shall try. we are all born with a conscience, murderers, rapists, liars, cheaters all included. we are able to decipher what is right and what is wrong. and quite amazingly, this idea of right and wrong is generally consistent even across ethnicity and geography. let's say the same act of B sticking out his leg and causing A to trip. A will not so much as cast a frown on B if it was not intentional. but if A knows that B had a bone to pick with him and had purposely done so, A will confront B and start a quarrel with him. so although it is the same act, we can somehow say that the latter act is wrong and the former is not. and that applies for many things. things like murder. things like stealing. have you ever wondered why it seems so natural for us to think that murder and stealing are wrong? where did we get this idea from? is it taught to us? so at 4 years old before you received any education, do you sincerely believe that killing someone is the right thing to do? so it seems that all of us share this natural law inside us which tells us what is right and what is wrong. and CS Lewis who wrote Chronicles of Narnia had this to say to skeptics: "whenever you find a man who says he does not believe in a real right or wrong, you will find him going back on this a moment later. he may break his promise to you, but if you try breaking one to him he will be complaining 'it's not fair' even before you can say jack robinson."

my next point, or actually it's CS lewis' point, is that none of us are keeping to this law within us. so if u have been a perfect person all your life, and have never done anything wrong, I think whatever I have said and am going to say now and in future does not apply to you. and this is where I will refute the claim that Christians are conceited and arrogant snobs. because one definition of a true Christian is a person who accepts that he has sinned and fallen short of God's standards and has come to believe in God and accepted God's gift of salvation. in short, he is one who feels that he needs to be saved.

for myself, while I was still exploring the faith, this verse from romans 7 was very true to me. "I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. for I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. for what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing.. so I find this law at work: when I want to do good, evil is right there with me. for in my inner being I delight in god's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. what a wretched man I am!"

sometimes, we read the newspapers and delight in condemning the murderers and the sexually depraved people.. why is he so cruel? why did he had to resort to killing her? why did the father rape his daughters? this doctor had a wife and a nice family, why did he have to take upskirt photos of women? why did Hitler and Pol Pot have to resort to massacring millions of people to attain their political ambitions? it seems so stupid of them, so inexplicable to us.. but the bible has always been right in its assessment of mankind.. all have sinned. what about you? no, I am a good person. I donated $5 to charity that day. I helped an old lady cross the road. what wrong have I done? but really, what the murderers, the rapists and the robbers did were just a manifestation of what is deep within everyone. he hated his wife who had slept with another man. so he killed her. the murder was just a outward manifestation of the hatred in him. when I hate another person, the difference between me and the murderer is that this hatred was not that deep. what this person did to me was not as serious as what the wife did to the man. and if really there is one day when that hatred is so deep, the only thing stopping me from killing my enemy is just the law and the dire consequences. but the heart of mine and the heart of the murderer are the same. sin is in 心. it comes from within us. when we hate someone, when we feel conceited and proud, when we look at someone lustfully, when we put our own interests above others, we have already sinned even though outwardly, we can pretend to be the most angelic creatures on earth.

and God looks right through our heart and sees all our evil thoughts. and the only rightful result of our sin is death. we can never escape that.

so what hope is there for us? by our own human efforts, we can never achieve God's standards. God is holy and his standards are high. he wants us spotless and clean. we can help a thousand people in our lives. we can meditate at home all day. we can become vegetarians. we can even give up all our possessions. but nothing is ever going to change the fact that we are sinful people. and nothing is ever going to blot over our sins. given the wrong circumstances, we are always going to fall into sin. there is absolutely no hope for us except Jesus Christ. I know, I know.. u will say: how can you guys claim that Jesus Christ is the only way? yes, I also wished there were other ways and other alternatives. but the bible says this is the only way. if the bible is true, then this is the only way. if it is false, either there is no way and everyone is condemned or there is some other way/s.

but why is there even a way for us explained in the bible? since we have done wrong, we deserve punishment.. by right, God doesn't have to provide us with a solution. but by left, because of his mercy, he has provided us a solution in the way of Jesus Christ. that he has come to die on the cross. Jesus was absolutely clean and spotless in God's eyes. he did not sin like us because he is god. by being perfect and yet accepting God's punishment on our behalf, he is the perfect sacrifice for all our sins.. and we are saved from God's anger because of him. and this only if we believe in Jesus Christ and believing that what he had done really happened and his act is sufficient to wipe away all our sins. the result of believing in him is eternal life. physically we will still die, but spiritually we will be raised up after our death and live happily ever after, literally.

it doesnt make sense at first. absurd. but if u think about it properly, how can imperfect man make peace with God? but only on God's terms and God's solution can we be saved. by sending a perfect person to die for imperfect man.. and after 2 years as a Christian, it seems a perfect solution. God's gift of salvation (being saved) is free and unconditional. oh I need to do steps 1 to 10 to become a Christian. I need to go to church. I must donate this amount of money to the church. I must be born in a Christian family. Nope! all God wants is for you to recognise that you are a sinful person, confess to him that u have sinned and tell him that you truly believe that Jesus Christ has died on the cross for your sins and you are willing to accept this gift of salvation from him..

my sincere prayer for all of you reading this blog: that all of u will be saved and we will see each other in heaven in future.. =)

You have a choice!

Hmm decided to take a break from my usual "bible-bashing" to talk about something else.. haha..

elections are here! so exciting.. it seems that this year's election is more exciting than the previous ones. number of reasons. firstly, this is the first time in many years that the pap is not returned to the government on nomination day. yay. secondly, i get to vote. double yay. thirdly, this election's opposition candidates seem more credible and capable compared to the past. so really, we are in for an exciting 6th of may.

but of cos let us not kid ourselves. we know who will form the govt on saturday. even the most politically apathetic person living here can tell u that.

so i think we are not really looking at opposition parties forming the govt. we are not looking at opposition candidates who can negotiate FTAs or change the education system. minus all the bread and butter issues. minus james gomez. minus upgrading. i agree with the opposition that we cannot allow the pap to have absolute power in the parliament. and that we really need an opposition, a credible one, to keep a check on the pap in the parliament and to really prevent them from getting complacent and abusing their power..

having said that, i have no doubts that pap has done a great job of governing singapore for the past 40 odd years.. and i believe the pap govt will continue to do their job.. but there is always a role for an alternative voice in the parliament. and saying that, i don't mean any tom, dick or harry getting into parliament and talking nonsense or trying to pick a bone with the govt just for the sake of it. and i am very sure singaporeans are shrewd enough to see for themselves who are good enough and who are not..

for this election, i am witnessing a very impressive batch of opposition candidates who are not contesting for fun. they are well-educated, can speak and argue sensibly and most importantly, they have a passion to serve and improve the livelihood of people. and their willingness to step out of their comfort zone to contest against the pap and stand for what they believe in deserves to be applauded.. on the other hand, i really question the wisdom of allowing new, untested pap candidates to sail into parliament on the backs of ministers without a true baptism of fire..

it's not hard to guess who i am supporting.. just that unfortunately, i am not living in hougang or aljunied grc haha.. it all boils down to a very interesting 6th of may.

to those who are living in these areas, i just have to leave you with this: you have a choice! =)

Holy Bible or Holey Bible? Part 1

Of course, I believe that it is the holy bible. why else would I be spending my time here talking about all these if I believed otherwise?

I will attempt to talk about the authenticity of the bible and its claims here. it won't be very convincing to some of you but hoping that you would keep your mind as objective as possible, however hard it may be, you might just agree with me on some points, if not all of them.

I used to think that the bible was some moral code for Christians to follow. you must not do this.. you must do that.. it was only 2 years ago when I started reading the bible that I realised it isn't a book about dos and don'ts. it is also not a self-help book for you to inspire yourself or encourage yourself when you are down. it is not a book of quotes for you to impress anyone. it is not a bedtime story book. it is also not a book containing mysterious sayings and codes and prophecies about the present world. most importantly, the bible we have today is not something that is cooked up by many creative authors, nor is it invented by cunning Christian leaders who wanted to start a cult.

the bible is a collection of books written by over 40 authors over a period of 1600 years. wait! didn't you just say that it is not cooked up by people? don't Christians all claim that the bible is God's word? how can you say that it is written by God when there are 40 over human authors who breathed and died just like all of us?

again, this won't be convincing to some of you but lets try.. yes, the bible is God's word. although it is written by so many human authors, God himself is the ultimate author of the books. he probably didn't use a pen to write it down. but through his spoken word and what he did on earth, people diligently recorded down these things in the books. in the 4 gospels of Luke, Mark, Matthew and John, we have the eye-witness account of what Jesus did and said.. I always like analogies so lets say LKY wants to have a biography of himself. but he won't be the one writing it down right? normally, these great people will be telling the biographers what they did in their lives. or they might relate it verbally and voice-record it down before someone translates it into words and pages. so is LKY's biography any less authentic or is there any doubt to the real authorship even though he didn't pen the words himself? probably no right? so that's what happened in the bible. we, as Christians, have no doubt that the real authorship of the bible is God himself.

the bible is divided into the Old Testament and the New Testament. the OT contains books about the creation of the world, God's promises to his people, his commandments, about kings, prophets.. there are also songs and poems. as you can see, it wont be very necessary to talk about the OT as yet, not that it is any less important.

the New Testament begins with the 4 gospels of Luke, Mark, Matthew and John. Gospel means good news. good news about what? good news about Jesus Christ who had come into the world to save people from their sins. (in the OT, the people had been told that a saviour will come into the world to save them) the rest of the NT contains mostly letters to the early Christians encouraging them to stand firm despite all their sufferings, reminding them about what Jesus had done for them and teaching them to hold firm to the truths and not believing in the other false teachers..

so how do we know that the bible is really true and explains events that really happened, specifically that Jesus died and rose again? how do we know that people did not fancifully make this up and create a new religion?

for a start, the 4 gospels that talked about Jesus Christ were based on eye-witness testimony.. they were based on real-life witnessing of what happened.. these witnesses were not merely bystanders who caught bits and pieces of what happened to Jesus. they were also not your usual market-place aunties who heard something from someone else who got it from another someone. the 4 gospels are testimonies of people who interacted with Jesus, listened to his teachings, witnessed his death and even saw him and talked to him after his resurrection.

before I go further, Jesus had 12 disciples whom he picked. these 12 people were very close to him and went with him wherever he went, and he taught them personally about many things. of these 12, Judas Ischariot eventually betrayed him and was excluded. these people are also known as the apostles.

the 4 gospels of Mark, Matthew, Luke and John were written by the people whose names have been attached to the books. how do you know? anyone can write any book and claims that this is the gospel of whatever.. he can even claim that Jesus took a pen and wrote it himself.. that would be more convincing right? why didn't the Christians then think of this? because they didn't make all these up! Strictly speaking, the gospels are anonymous. but the early church and probably people who interacted with these 4 authors mostly agreed to the authorship of the gospels. Matthew, also known as Levi, the tax collector and one of the 12 apostles, wrote the first gospel in the NT. John Mark, a companion of Peter the apostle, wrote the gospel of Mark. Luke, a medical doctor (!) and follower of Paul the apostle, wrote the gospel of Luke. Lastly, John the apostle wrote the gospel of John himself. how do I know all these? I don't. but there are many scholars who devote their whole lives investigating the NT and delving deep into historical documents and they are convinced that the 4 gospels were really written by those 4 people and these were first- or second-hand eye-witness accounts of events. The earliest historical document is that of Papias, a Christian writer, in AD 125 who affirmed that Mark had carefully and accurately recorded Peter's eyewitness observations. another writer called Irenaeus also wrote in AD 180 to confirm the authorship of these 4 gospels.

to tell you the truth, the 4 gospels don't seem like your usual biographies or historical texts when you read them. they are written a bit "weirdly" in modern day context; there are no dates; and specific events are told in great detail while large parts of Jesus' life are left out. but we have to remember that these were written about 2 thousand years ago. most of the literary texts of that time were written this way. more importantly, the authors had specific reasons for describing some events in greater detail than others, to spread the message that Christ had come and died and resurrected and through which we have the forgiveness of sins.

and this leads me nicely to my next point. non-Christians will never argue or question about the discrepancies among the 4 gospels or about whether specific events took place in this place or that or the family lines of Jesus and stuff simply because you have never flipped open the bible. but you will argue with me: aren't all these gospels written by Christians? definitely, they have every reason to fabricate and lie to push their own agenda and to twist and colour history to the specific shade they wanted.. Don't their theological motivations to make Jesus out to be God, to be the saviour cast serious doubt on their ability and willingness to accurately record what happened? this was one of the many questions and doubts at the back of my head when I started reading the bible. and until now, I have to admit that there can be no satisfactory answer.. there is no doubt that these 4 people were Christians. 2 were apostles. the other 2 were disciples of Peter and Paul, both apostles. so the possibility that they embellished certain events to make their story more convincing remains. but in the past and even now, people rarely wrote about dispassionate, objective history with no ideological purpose. from an alternative point of view, an unbeliever who witnessed all that Jesus did and yet refused to believe in him would never write a book about him, or perhaps he would even write a book that distorts certain things about him so as to convince people not to believe in him.

to draw a modern day parallel, some people, for anti-Semitic purposes, downplay the atrocities of the holocaust. similarly, the Japanese refuse to admit the great number of massacres and atrocities they did. but it has been the Jewish scholars who deligently recorded eyewitness accounts, preserved documents and wrote books to record accurate history about the holocaust. the Chinese and the Malayan people would probably have done the same thing about the Japanese invasion. these people are the ones who are the most faithful and objective in their reporting of historical truth. I believe that is what happened regarding the Christians and the bible.

and some of the things described in the gospels are really outrageously bold and even "absurd". some things like Jesus making a blind see again. Jesus walking on the sea.. Jesus rising from the dead.. if these things didn't really happen, and there were so many other people at that time, people would have stood up and condemned the teachings of the apostles, rather than allow these things to be written down and accepted as truths. in fact, there were many critics and opponents of Christ at that time, mostly Jews who refused to accept that Jesus is the saviour promised in the Old Testament. based on the "political" climate at that time, when the Christians were outnumbered and "outpowered", it would have been easy for the critics to simply point out the falsehoods, inaccuracies and discrepancies in the Christian message. instead of saying Jesus did not perform the miracles, some of them wrote that Jesus was a sorcerer but he did not do those things by God, as he claimed.

the early Christian movement was weak and fragile, started mainly by the apostles and their disciples. for persevering in reporting what they saw and heard and touched, most of them were jailed, tortured and crucified. if Jesus did not perform those miracles, if he did not die and rose again, I cannot understand why these people were willing to go to such an extent to insist that Jesus did those things, let alone make up all these things out of nothing.. human reasoning tells us that they must have seen and heard the risen Christ. and the early Christians must have been really convinced that all these things occurred or they would not have diligently copied what the original authors wrote and faithfully passed it down.

inevitably, when you start flipping through the bible, you will read about really unimaginable things. the parting of the red sea. Jesus making a paralytic walk again. I am a big skeptic of miracles and supernatural events, even till today.. when I first started going to church, I am always amazed how those people can believe in such things.. then I talked to some of these people and they were surprisingly sane, educated and intelligent.. in the words of our great Father of all ministers, "you said that you went to JC and university, and you are telling me that you believe" in all these miracles and rising from the dead and stuff.. and some of them are even working full-time in church.. and studying the bible as if it is some textbook and analysing it verse by verse.. if this is just something invented by Christians, why the heck are these people getting so serious about it and spending their entire lives working in a church? why are they giving up precious time to study the bible and to teach the bible? why are they so fervent about it and passionately asking people to believe? I reasoned that if something so absurd and ridiculous as a blind man seeing again and demons going into pigs can be believed by these people, there probably might be some truth in them..

and every saturday or sunday, as I stepped into the church or like today at the indoor stadium where over 10,000 people were present to commemorate the Presbyterian Synod's 125th anniversary, I am somehow convinced that we all believed in all that is described in the bible.. even before we start examining the evidence for them.

The Bloody Truth

It has been a hectic Easter weekend for me. 3 sermons plus 1 online sermon. 2 bible studies cum discussion. and 1 church wedding. I have a number of things to share with u but i shall not jump the gun..

first, I think I should summarise what I wanted to say in the last post. I am sorry for being so long-winded. anyway, here's the summary: according to the bible, there is one god. God had sent his son down to this world about 2006 years ago to do certain things and say certain things that revealed God to us. those deeds and words were recorded in the bible and we are able to know God today through the bible. and the bible is God's word.

I didn't believe in all those right away so I don't expect you to accept those as gospel truth.. but lets assume first that those things are true, that there is a god and he has spoken to us through the bible..

that will allow me to explain the events of Good Friday and its significance. I have deliberately left out something so fundamental and central to Christianity thus far and that something or someone is Jesus Christ. without Jesus Christ, there is no Christianity.. and the things he did and said are central to Christianity and form the basis for the Christian faith.

on Good Friday some 2040 years ago, Jesus Christ was nailed to death on the cross. even my secondary 1 cousin has heard of it and so has everyone of u who are reading this. and the whole crucifixion has been so vividly depicted in Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ.. when I watched the film, I was still a non-Christian. but I was already investigating the faith so it had extra significance for me then.. behind the blood and the gore, what does all these mean for me? what has it got to do with me?

I had already read then that Jesus died on the cross because of our sins. this is also one of the most important points of Christianity. and possibly the hardest to fully understand and accept. Jesus died on the cross for my sins. I thought of that statement for many months. in the beginning, it was utter disbelief. it just did not make sense. I thought it was some idea conjured up by Christians. that was my idea of religion then, that they were all made up by man..

but as I started to attend Just Looking and church services, I realised that the Christians really believed that it happened. it was a historical event that really took place. and they took it really seriously. I was amazed but at the same time bewildered. I cannot believe that the people there, some of them lawyers, teachers, doctors, undergraduates, can believe in something like that. that this person called Jesus Christ was crucified on the cross and because of this act, it wipes off all our past wrongdoing and we are saved.. it was ridiculous and absurd to me then..

but even before I get further, do u think u have done anything wrong? for myself, it was not hard for me to accept that I have sinned. maybe not the word sin then. but I can readily accept that I am not a good person. I have done many wrong things in the past. including things like cheating in a common test.. telling lies to my parents.. watching and surfing pornography.. and many more. and yup, u can never judge a book by its cover and I believe each of us has his/her own darkest secrets.. and u know what, it is not as if we do not know what is right or what is wrong. we know that it is wrong to cheat and lie and surf porn.. our conscience tells us that they are wrong. even the most cold-blooded murderer knows that it is wrong to kill.. yet in a moment of impulse or caught in this self-perpetuating cycle of denial and wrongdoing, we continue to do wrong.. of course, it is easy to condemn the rapists and the serial murderers who made it to the frontpages but the only difference between our wrongdoings and theirs is that theirs are punishable by law and ours aren't or ours are still under cover and haven't yet been caught. and interestingly, I realise that there are times I deperately want to do what is right but end up giving in to my temptations and doing the opposite. do u feel at times u can't help it when u utter a vulgarity, talk bad about someone or hate someone? do u feel that as u grow older, u start to rationalise things and start to accept your wrongdoings?

and I suggest to u that that is the essence of sin, that we know what is right and yet persist in doing wrong. and at the heart of sin is the rejection of God and a stubborn disobedience to his laws and commands. we want to do things our way.. we do things to gratify our desires.. we do things to please ourselves. we don't want God in our lives to dictate what we should do. we even choose not to believe in God..

and the result of all these is punishment and death. why? because God cannot stand our rebellion and wrongdoings.. he cannot turn a blind eye to our sin.. he is not a "bochup" god. the best way i can put it is this. God is like a human father who loves his son dearly. yet his son did all sorts of things that upset him.. his son rejected his father's authority over him and even refused to recognise him. as a result, the father punished his son and disowned him.. he can no longer go back to his home..

yet God, out of his love, gave us a lifeline.. which we have done nothing to deserve. this lifeline is his son Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is God who came in human form. He was perfect and without sin. yet he sacrificed his life for all our sins. so that because of his sacrifice, God can now accept us and forgive us if we put our trust in Jesus Christ.. and we know that God had accepted this sacrifice because Jesus Christ was resurrected on the third day. if he had remained dead like all mankind, it would have meant that the sacrifice was futile and insufficient.

to put it back into the analogy, despite the father's anger, he still loved his son. one day his son was caught for drug trafficking and was sentenced to death. at this point, the judge took off his robe and wig and pronounced this son not guilty. instead, the judge walked over and took his son's place and would be the one who would be sent to the gallows. the son finally realised his father's love for him.

as much as this analogy is imperfect, the bible sums it up "For God so loved the world that he sent his one and only son to die on the cross for our sins, that whoever believes in him would never perish but have everlasting life."

and that is the bloody truth I have for u.. again this is one big chunk of info which I emphasise again I am not forcing u to believe in. I am just trying to explain the Christian faith here.. if u think it's rubbish, I will urge u to think why it is rubbish and what evidence do u have to support that it is rubbish.. and I will give my two cents worth in my next post about why it is not rubbish. but I guess most people will play the goody-two-shoe and say, "well, I respect your religion but I have the right to believe in anything." and I have to say this must be the most effective statement in response to everything I have said. I say man have sinned. you say: that's what u say or what ur bible says, I am entitled to my own beliefs. I say those who don't believe will be punished. you say: I don't buy your crap and you guys are bloody arrogant for insisting that your bible is superior to everything else on earth.

you see, I am trying to reason with you here. we believe in what we believe because of the bible. your defence is based on human emotion and gut feel. I feel that there is no God. I feel that there are many Gods. I feel that God loves me. I feel that God allows me to do this.. if there is no one God, then there is no right and there is no wrong. our world teaches us to believe in diversity, multi-truths and relativity. versus absolute Christianity. if absolute Christianity is to be right, then it better has some strong proof and basis for its claims. then again, u can always say that Christianity is absolutely right and the others are absolutely right as well.

I shall attempt to explain why the bible, and thus Christianity, is true in my next post.. and I would rather at the end of it all, u take either one of these 2 stands: Christianity is right vs Christianity is wrong..

Godiva chocolates

Since Good Friday and Easter are coming, and my clinical group decided to have an early day at the polyclinic, and I just haven't been able to start typing my case write-up, I might as well use this time to share with you about.. no, not chocolates.. God.. haha..

There are a few ways I can start talking about Christianity. I can begin with the bible, about Jesus Christ, about the meaning and purpose of life, about sin, about religion as a whole blah blah.. But I feel that without a common platform to start off, there is really not much point talking about anything else. And that common point is the existence of God.

I used to be very constrained and narrow-minded in my thinking when I ponder over the existence of God. I think at some points in our lives, whether or not we believe in a god, we start to think about how we came into existence, how this world came about and stuff.. And it is a very unsatisfying process thinking about such things, cos by looking at ourselves and at the things around us, we are no better understanding how these things came about. For myself, as I grew older, I began to reject the idea of God. All the scientific education I got taught me that unless something is evidence-based and scientifically proven, it cannot be true. We are constrained by what we see and hear now. We are constrained to think that science can explain everything in the world.

I have no doubt that science is real and true. But the role of science is constrained in itself. It is not all-encompassing. We can go as deep as the smallest particles including the electrons and the protons to explain how sodium and chlorine can form sodium chloride and as far as Jupiter and Saturn and beyond to explain what goes on in their atmospheres. But thats about all science can explain. It can only explain the things we can see and observe. Whether or not there is something behind and beyond the things science observes - something of a different kind - this is not something science can answer. I am not yet saying if there is "something behind", I am just saying that science is limited in such a way that it cannot make any statement on whether or not there is an existence of such a "something". In other words, what I am getting at is this: just because we have not seen God, we cannot conclude that God does not exist (and at this point we also cannot conclude that he exists).

Once you agree with me on this point and be open to the idea of god, we can start to find out whether God really exists. This will not be easy and it will take some time to grapple with.. that is if you think it is an important issue to think over..

It is not an easy task finding out whether there is a higher being up there (or anywhere) because we cannot rely on science to help us (as explained above). I have to copy an idea wholesale from a book I read, hopefully Vaughan Roberts wouldn't mind.. This is the scenario:

A group of people were born in a locked room and lived their entire lives in it. The people had frequent discussions about the world outside. A says that he has studied the room for years and that it was very well-designed. He also found an electric fan which he had dismantled and found out its mechanisms, how it worked and stuff. Could the room and the fan have come about by chance? But doesn't the marvelous design of the fan point to the existence of a "something" outside the room who made it and put it there? But he acknowledges that, since no one has seen anything except what exists inside the room, it is possible that there is nothing else besides the room.

B1 protests violently. His mother has told him that the world outside is inhabited by many creatures of which the monsters have long long ago locked man's ancestors in the room. But one day the angels will come and open up the room and liberate the people living in the room. B2 disagrees and says the truth is that there are no monsters, only angels who have placed people in the room for a little while to look after it. One day, they will be released.

C brushed aside all of them. The room is all that there is. Why waste time thinking about the outside world? The most important thing is the here and now. Enjoy things while they last. Why get so uptight over things that we have no definite answer to?

D told the people that he had visions and dreams of giants ruling the world outside. And there were many such rooms with people inside. They will be inside the rooms forever. He feels that different people will have different ideas of the outside world. The truth lives inside everyone, according to what he/she thinks/feels. People should not condemn what others feel or think about the outside world because everybody has a right to decide for himself what is true.

I think it is not hard to see the point I am trying to make here. We are like the people living in the room trying to find out if there is a god out there. It will be a good start to be like A. At least, he is open to the idea of a god out there. B1 and B2 believe in God/s. But they have different ideas of who God is and what he does. Can both their gods possibly co-exist? What is the basis for their beliefs? Is there proof? Or is it plain family tradition? C is the materialist who lives for the present. Eat, drink and be merry. Refuses to entertain thoughts about God. D is the goody-two-shoe and is most well-liked. He understands the need for some purpose in life and chooses to believe in some religion. He lives a moral and "godly" life. He is tolerant of other religions. You have the right to believe in your God. I have my right to believe in mine. All are true. All can coexist in harmony. As long as we don't do anything harmful and treat people well, we are good people.

There is a diversity of beliefs and non-beliefs. Is there one truth? Is there one God? Can we ever know the truth about God, if there is one? The Christian answer is there is one. And only one. I know Christians have always been accused of being proud, arrogant, snobbish and full-of-themselves because they (from a non-Christian point of view) insist that their religion is the only true religion. Their god is the only god. Their religion is the only way to get into heaven. Slams door. Throws eggs at them. Spit. Full of rubbish. Don't ever try to talk about Christianity to me again. The eggs and the spit can remain. But perhaps you can open the door slightly and listen to me for a while.. At least listen to the whole story before you slam the door..

If we are forever trapped in this "room" and have no idea of the world outside, we can only at best speculate about whether there is a god outside. We can formulate our own set of beliefs about God. We can listen to passed-down stories about God from our ancestors. There is no definite truth. Then it makes D's argument logical. Everyone is right about God. God is whatever we make him out to be. That makes C's argument logical too. Cos then it doesnt really matter how we live our lives. Eat, drink and be merry and then die. After death? We will think of it when we die. Enjoy the present first. If there is no real truth and no real God, I will be a strong proponent of C. What does it matter? We will all die anyway, lets enjoy it while it lasts!

But the Christian bible has some very strong claims about God. God exists. He created the "room". He created human beings. In the past, he "popped" into the "room" now and then to appear to one or two people. He told them his plans for the world and what humans should do. He also had a son, who was with him from the beginning. More recently (that is 2000++ years ago), he sent his son into the "room" for a little while. This would be the definitive appearance of God. He would not appear again until one specific day in future. While in the "room", God's son told the people about God. A group of people who were closest to God's son wrote down everything he said and did during that short while (with the help of God) and compiled them into the 4 gospels.

And that is what we have today. Everything that we can know about God is in the bible. And it is all that we have. His son has appeared personally to our ancestors and they have dutifully passed the message down to us. If we are in a room, the only true way to be sure that God exists is if he comes into the room and tells us. Or theoretically we can get out of the room, see God and come back to tell the others. No one has done the latter. The former? No one living now has ever seen God.. because God has chosen to appear only once 2000 years ago to some people. (I don't know why) But he had come into the room before.. so there is indeed a god. The bible says that he exists.

I cannot say anything about other religions and their Gods. Maybe they have some basis for their beliefs, maybe not.. But the bible says that there is only one god. So if the bible is not something made up by man, then Christianity is true and the rest are false. If I say that the rest are true also, then Christianity becomes a lie and I am wasting my time here being a goody-two-shoe.

The whole truth (or lie) of Christianity hangs on the reliability of the bible. There is nothing else. If any part of the bible is proven to be false, we Christians are no more than fools believing in a lie and trying to rope in others to believe in the same lie, while getting ridiculed, spat and thrown eggs at.. Ok la, it is not that bad.. I am exaggerating a bit. Then again, people in some countries are being tortured and executed for converting to Christianity. So much trouble for a lie and a god that doesn't exist?

I am thankful to God if you are a non-Christian and patient enough to read till this line.. I will blog again soon =) Do keep your door slightly open.. ha..

Amazing Race!

How shiok is family medicine posting? Now I am slacking at home in front of my comp.. and the GP clinic and the polyclinic is a mere 10, 15 minutes bus ride from my house..

Anyway, it was a much needed rest at home after a gruelling 5 hour plus adventure race in the southern part of Singapore on Sunday. Do you realise that your muscles are the most sore the second day after any sporting activity? Now, almost every other muscle group is suffering from the effects of Sunday's exertion..

But it was extremely fun and enjoyable though tiring. Team comprised of me, Danny (church friend) and William (Danny's friend). It was a team event, meaning three of us would start together and do the race together. Thus each team was only as fast as the slowest guy. We started off from Padang. Waited 30 agonising minutes for the "VVVIP" (which I don't even recognise) to saunter in and finally flag us off at 8.30 am. Ran towards Temasek Tower where our bicycles were deposited earlier. But before we could get on our bikes, our first challenge: inflate this longish balloon and following the instructions given on a piece of paper, make it into a sword. The instructions were simple enough. Problem was: we couldn't even inflate the balloon. We were told to bring a bicycle pump during the race briefing, but no one would have thought that it was for inflating balloons. The nozzle couldn't fit into the opening of the balloon and there was no way we could blow it up. We decided to forfeit the challenge. And take the 15 minute time penalty which will be added on to our final time.

Next, we cycled to Mount Faber, deposited our bikes and ran up to the peak where we were given another challenge. Find the bearing of the place we were given (we got Manila). That was simple enough. Next up. We were supposed to shade "ADVENTURE SINGAPORE 2006" all in capitals, using the tourist information boards or plagues (whatever u call them) on the walls. That was a little tougher than u would imagine. Cos there were only limited capital letters we could find on the walls. And there were so many teams trying to shade the letters. We also ended up improvising and using "A" to shade "V", and inverting "9" to shade "6".

Next stop, Telok Blangah Hill by foot. Challenge: There were 7 different hand signals depicted on a few pieces of paper. They represented 7 alphabets which we were supposed to decipher from the key given to us. A, H, E, T, W, R, E. We were then supposed to unscramble the letters to form a word. Again, it may seem easy while u are sitting down and all the blood is going to your brain. At that moment, with all the adrenaline pumping and the blood shunted from our brains, we could not really think properly. After 10 over minutes, I finally thought of the answer. (By now u should have got it, right?) Should have practised on more Scrabble at home.. it would probably have saved us 10 minutes. Don't think my 10km runs could have saved that much time haha..

Then it was back to our bikes and our next stop was Sentosa. It was Tyrolean Traverse next. Basically, this is like flying fox, just that you are being hung horizontally face up, and you are supposed to pull yourself across from one point to another. That was quite fun!

Team biathlon was next. One bike shared among three of us. We were allowed to take turns to bike and run. This was more tiring than expected and all the cramps started to set in. Furthermore, I volunteered to run the whole route cos of my less-than-fantastic bicycling skills.

We then had our first attempts at Sodoku. Again, if we had known, we would have spend some time practising this rather than clocking mileage on the roads. I don't think the puzzle was very tough and with some collaboration with other teams, we managed to solve the puzzle in about five minutes. I must say Sodoku is quite an interesting game haha..

We were back to the mainland after that and we made our way to Marina South. And got caught in a massive bottleneck under Benjamin Sheares Bridge. The station was ascending ropes. Basically, you are supposed to climb up 2 ropes (about 9 metres or so) using some special equipment provided. Only two members were required to do this. I decided to give it a miss cos Danny and William had done it before (though I did try it during the skills test the week before). Ended up waiting 40 over minutes before completing the station.

Abseiling (or rappeling) was next. One member had to do the free abseiling down Benjamin Sheares. The other two would have to do the diagonal abseil. This was rather fun too.. No muscle power needed, just letting gravity do its job. Furthermore, spirits were high cos we were nearing the end.. We even had the luxury of getting 100 plus along the Esplanade while making our way to the next station. A mixed team that passed us were rather bemused. haha..

The penultimate challenge was nothing much.. Just a short 30-metre swim near the Merlion while taking note of 2 photographs on the wall. We were later quizzed on what were on the 2 photographs.

Then the sprint (more like a leisure jog actually) towards the finish line. Then a 5-metre tall kiddy rock wall. 5 hour plus plus plus, without factoring in the 15-minute time penalty. We still have not figured out whether it was 15 minutes per team or 15 minutes per member. But at the end of the day, the goal is really just to finish the race..

It may seem crazy spending a Sunday morning and afternoon torturing ourselves.. Not to mention the amount of money we spent. 60 dollars registration per person, 50 dollars for renting my mountain bike.. and all the racing equipment, attire and food.. But I thought it was worth it. There will not be many more opportunities for me to try this.. Not when I am being caught in a 36-hour shift as a house officer or when I am 50 plus years old..

CLK Convertible 2

I completed Just Looking soon enough. Unknowingly, I had attended 2 months of church. I got to know some of the PUNJ people better. Going to church on Saturdays became routine. I was working part time at MOS burger then. I even made sure my work days do not fall on Saturdays. I moved on to another series of bible studies called Back to Basics looking at different topical themes about Christianity like faith, grace and good works among others.

By then, I was already quite convinced of the Christian message intellectually. But there was a strong reluctance to commit totally to the faith. There were many obstacles. Being in a non-Christian family brought up some issues.. I also wondered how it would be perceived by my non-Christian friends. Then of cos the biggest obstacle was Swsnbn. I did not know then whether I was converting for her sake. And the balance certainly tilted in that direction however hard I tried to convince myself otherwise. But I knew it was too frivolous a reason to convert like that. And deep down, I told myself that I needed some assurance that there be some kind of permanence and stability to this relationship before I would convert. It was a massive dilemma.

That assurance never came. But God probably knew that was what I needed. With S around, I would never be able to come to a clear decision whether to accept Christ or not. That decision would also be very much clouded by many things. With her out of the picture, I was finally able to logically and objectively decide for myself whether I really believed in Christ and had decided to follow Him. There was then no more reason other than the facts about Christ for me to attend church. I thought that I would just stop wasting my time and save my Saturdays to do the things I like. I had every reason to hate Christianity and God for things not turning out my way. But somehow, I stayed on. The facts of Christ grew on me and eventually, I did convert.

I could not remember the exact day on which I accepted Christ. Or perhaps I allowed him into my heart over several days. But over these 2 years or so, through numerous sermons, books, bible studies and coversations with Christians, I have grown in the knowledge of Christ and am increasingly convinced that what we believe in has not been made up and is of the truth..

I am realistic about what this blog can do. I don't think that people will believe just because of what I say here. But it might be a tiny step.. It might be God stretching his hand out to you.

CLK Convertible

The title is my own lame attempt to pique your curiosity in reading this post. This post has been in the works for 3 months actually. Yes, you didn't hear or see wrongly. 3 months. I started harbouring thoughts of sharing this since December last year while I was preparing to share my testimony during this Christmas party organised by my church's youth group called PUNJ (Poly, Uni, NS, JC). But I felt a lot of inertia. Laziness is one thing. The biggest problem is that of "face" and pride. And I wonder whether this is really helpful.. So if you are reading this, perhaps you can do me a great favour by taking off your tinted glasses and reading this objectively. It will be more useful too if you focus on the things that are truly important.

I thought it will be a good start to this blog by telling you how I converted to Christianity. Along the way, I will share with you some of the things I went through after I believed. But this post will be mostly about the initial part when I was first exposed to the faith. I cannot avoid talking about certain people or my testimony might end up sounding like this: Somehow, through God's mercy, I stepped into Adam Road Presbyterian Centre (ARPC) one fine day, I found out more about the bible and another fine day, voila! I believed in Christ. But I shall not name people here (though some of you know who they are) and I will try to focus on the right things.

So here goes.. Testimony just means telling people how one became a Christian. Or a witnessing to how God came into their lives. Of course the best testimony is still God appearing and telling us who He is. More on that another day.

I was a non-Christian. Actually everyone is, even those people born in Christian families, contrary to what most people believe. So the point I want to make is that I came from a non-Christian family. My parents are traditional Taoist-Buddhists who pray to all kinds of deities and they also practise ancestral worship. I used to just follow what they are doing and as a kid, you basically monkey-see-monkey-do without believing in anything. As I grew older, I did question the purpose of doing all these and I came to the conclusion that they were just all part of tradition. I think in JC, I sort of decided that there is no God in this world. Religion is just something that Man came up with long long time ago to settle their spiritual needs. To me then, what you see is what you get (WYSIWYG). There is nothing beyond what can be explained by science. Big bang is how the world came about, if that is what the scientists claimed. Newsweek had a whole article on it with super profound theories and explanations. Science equals truth. Same goes for evolution. Another super profound article. Theories and evidence I cannot understand but I believed in them. I am opening up a huge can of worms here.. But that was as accurate as I can describe my feelings then. God? Where got (pun intended)? Show me and I will believe. Life after death? Come back and tell me after you die. Punishment as depicted in the eighteen levels of hell at Haw Par Villa? Scary? Yes if you want to frighten little kids.

Furthermore, I had very little contact with Christian people in sec school and JC. There were not many Christians in my extended family as well. The few Christians I know did not tell me anything about their faith and they seem just like anyone I know. But I did know about Christianity here and there.. My friends will tell me how their Christian friends will drag them to church. The "funny" things they do in there. And of course invariably the idea that Christians go to heaven and non-believers go to hell will ruffle a few feathers. To me then, it was utter rubbish. In the first place, do heaven and hell even exist?

Perhaps I shall explain about this before I carry on. "So we non-Christians will go to hell la?" I think at that point of time, when I ask that question, the motive was not really to clarify the point, or to find out about a certain fact. The answer to that question is as obvious to the Christian as it is to the non-Christian. The motive was merely to condemn the whole idea. And to make the Christian seem arrogant, unflexible and conservative. In the first place, some people don't even believe that hell exists when they ask that question. If you are already super convinced that Christianity is a pack of lies, then I don't even think it is a fair question to ask. But if you are curious about what Christianity is all about, then you got to take a step back and look at that question from another angle. Perhaps a fairer question will be "Why do Christians think they will go to heaven?" This, I will also eventually talk about.

Back to my testimony.. Eventually in uni, I did come across this Methodist Caucasian evangelist who came to talk to me at an MRT station. Forgot what he talked about.. something about my current religion and whether I believed in God. I can't remember what I said too, probably something along the lines of "I am not interested, please leave me alone". Funny thing was, I met the same guy a few months later and he approached me again, this time on an LRT while I was on my way home. I was a bit irritated, told him he had already approached me before and thankfully alighted at my stop.

Now that I think of it, it was really quite a coincidence. Or was it part of God's plans? Anyway, He probably decided that a guy will not do and brought another person into my life. I shall tread upon this very carefully.. Lets just call her Swsnbn or she-who-shall-not-be-named. haha.. S and I became good friends.. we went out and stuff la. Inevitably, the issue of religion cropped up. She was a Christian, I wasn't. I did not know what the fuss was. I could have just ended the whole thing and moved on but somehow, I didn't. I started to find out more about Christianity online. She also gave me this book called "Christianity for Dummies" haha.. I also bought "A Purpose-Driven Life" by Rick Warren. So slowly but surely, I was reading about Christianity. But everything was a blur then. There were a lot of Christian jargon I didn't understand. And many of the Christian ideas were very airy-fairy, they didn't sound like they were true. I was not sure whether I believed in them. It was also complicated by the fact that I was finding out about all these not so much for wanting to know God and about the faith.

Later on, a mutual friend invited me to a PUNJ evangelistic party at Novena, this place called Fishy Tales. This was in May 2004. There was a talk that day about Science and God. I readily agreed to be there. She probably didn't need to try very hard. Cos S will be there. That was the spark that set the fire burning even until now. Not so much for the contents of the talk. But for the fact that I was invited to join Just Looking bible studies at ARPC every Saturday and I was now drawn into a church and its activities even though I was still a non-Christian.

It felt weird at first being in a church. Never been inside one so I always thought it was like a Westernized temple. There will be people chanting inside, casting out demons and stuff.. It did not turn out that way. I also felt quite alone and out-of-place. MF (mutual friend haha..) and S attended some other bible study.. I did not see them at all in my first month in the church. I was left to survive on my own in "enemy territory". haha.. I really don't know what kept me going. Maybe it was the people in PUNJ. They were so friendly to me, I felt stressed. haha.. really! The Just Looking studies were a series of 7 lessons looking at who Jesus is and what he did through the bible. I attended all but the first lesson. It was not like I believed right away. Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins. I was like "Eh.. ok.." I had already read that online before I attended Just Looking. I was not really convinced. In fact at the back of my mind, I probably felt that it was crap. But slowly but surely, God was stripping away my defences and resistance layer by layer. I started to attend service by the 3rd or 4th lesson, just out of curiosity. And of cos, I thought S would be there. But 9 times out of 10, I didn't see her there.. By the 10th time, I probably attended service not because of that anymore.. haha.. Anyway, contrary to what I thought, there was no weird chanting or shouting. No special exorcism rites. No casting out of demons. The only weird thing to me then was prayers. I just bowed my head and listened to the person pray. Actually, it was nothing too. He was merely talking about some church stuff and thanking God for something. I liked the songs they sang. Though the lyrics made me feel uncomfortable at times. Then there was a sermon. Actually it was just a talk. I thought the pastor was rather interesting. So my first experience at a church service was not too bad. I even enjoyed it. I forgot what the sermon was about but I felt at peace when I walked out of the building.. To be continued..