I completed Just Looking soon enough. Unknowingly, I had attended 2 months of church. I got to know some of the PUNJ people better. Going to church on Saturdays became routine. I was working part time at MOS burger then. I even made sure my work days do not fall on Saturdays. I moved on to another series of bible studies called Back to Basics looking at different topical themes about Christianity like faith, grace and good works among others.
By then, I was already quite convinced of the Christian message intellectually. But there was a strong reluctance to commit totally to the faith. There were many obstacles. Being in a non-Christian family brought up some issues.. I also wondered how it would be perceived by my non-Christian friends. Then of cos the biggest obstacle was Swsnbn. I did not know then whether I was converting for her sake. And the balance certainly tilted in that direction however hard I tried to convince myself otherwise. But I knew it was too frivolous a reason to convert like that. And deep down, I told myself that I needed some assurance that there be some kind of permanence and stability to this relationship before I would convert. It was a massive dilemma.
That assurance never came. But God probably knew that was what I needed. With S around, I would never be able to come to a clear decision whether to accept Christ or not. That decision would also be very much clouded by many things. With her out of the picture, I was finally able to logically and objectively decide for myself whether I really believed in Christ and had decided to follow Him. There was then no more reason other than the facts about Christ for me to attend church. I thought that I would just stop wasting my time and save my Saturdays to do the things I like. I had every reason to hate Christianity and God for things not turning out my way. But somehow, I stayed on. The facts of Christ grew on me and eventually, I did convert.
I could not remember the exact day on which I accepted Christ. Or perhaps I allowed him into my heart over several days. But over these 2 years or so, through numerous sermons, books, bible studies and coversations with Christians, I have grown in the knowledge of Christ and am increasingly convinced that what we believe in has not been made up and is of the truth..
I am realistic about what this blog can do. I don't think that people will believe just because of what I say here. But it might be a tiny step.. It might be God stretching his hand out to you.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
CLK Convertible
The title is my own lame attempt to pique your curiosity in reading this post. This post has been in the works for 3 months actually. Yes, you didn't hear or see wrongly. 3 months. I started harbouring thoughts of sharing this since December last year while I was preparing to share my testimony during this Christmas party organised by my church's youth group called PUNJ (Poly, Uni, NS, JC). But I felt a lot of inertia. Laziness is one thing. The biggest problem is that of "face" and pride. And I wonder whether this is really helpful.. So if you are reading this, perhaps you can do me a great favour by taking off your tinted glasses and reading this objectively. It will be more useful too if you focus on the things that are truly important.
I thought it will be a good start to this blog by telling you how I converted to Christianity. Along the way, I will share with you some of the things I went through after I believed. But this post will be mostly about the initial part when I was first exposed to the faith. I cannot avoid talking about certain people or my testimony might end up sounding like this: Somehow, through God's mercy, I stepped into Adam Road Presbyterian Centre (ARPC) one fine day, I found out more about the bible and another fine day, voila! I believed in Christ. But I shall not name people here (though some of you know who they are) and I will try to focus on the right things.
So here goes.. Testimony just means telling people how one became a Christian. Or a witnessing to how God came into their lives. Of course the best testimony is still God appearing and telling us who He is. More on that another day.
I was a non-Christian. Actually everyone is, even those people born in Christian families, contrary to what most people believe. So the point I want to make is that I came from a non-Christian family. My parents are traditional Taoist-Buddhists who pray to all kinds of deities and they also practise ancestral worship. I used to just follow what they are doing and as a kid, you basically monkey-see-monkey-do without believing in anything. As I grew older, I did question the purpose of doing all these and I came to the conclusion that they were just all part of tradition. I think in JC, I sort of decided that there is no God in this world. Religion is just something that Man came up with long long time ago to settle their spiritual needs. To me then, what you see is what you get (WYSIWYG). There is nothing beyond what can be explained by science. Big bang is how the world came about, if that is what the scientists claimed. Newsweek had a whole article on it with super profound theories and explanations. Science equals truth. Same goes for evolution. Another super profound article. Theories and evidence I cannot understand but I believed in them. I am opening up a huge can of worms here.. But that was as accurate as I can describe my feelings then. God? Where got (pun intended)? Show me and I will believe. Life after death? Come back and tell me after you die. Punishment as depicted in the eighteen levels of hell at Haw Par Villa? Scary? Yes if you want to frighten little kids.
Furthermore, I had very little contact with Christian people in sec school and JC. There were not many Christians in my extended family as well. The few Christians I know did not tell me anything about their faith and they seem just like anyone I know. But I did know about Christianity here and there.. My friends will tell me how their Christian friends will drag them to church. The "funny" things they do in there. And of course invariably the idea that Christians go to heaven and non-believers go to hell will ruffle a few feathers. To me then, it was utter rubbish. In the first place, do heaven and hell even exist?
Perhaps I shall explain about this before I carry on. "So we non-Christians will go to hell la?" I think at that point of time, when I ask that question, the motive was not really to clarify the point, or to find out about a certain fact. The answer to that question is as obvious to the Christian as it is to the non-Christian. The motive was merely to condemn the whole idea. And to make the Christian seem arrogant, unflexible and conservative. In the first place, some people don't even believe that hell exists when they ask that question. If you are already super convinced that Christianity is a pack of lies, then I don't even think it is a fair question to ask. But if you are curious about what Christianity is all about, then you got to take a step back and look at that question from another angle. Perhaps a fairer question will be "Why do Christians think they will go to heaven?" This, I will also eventually talk about.
Back to my testimony.. Eventually in uni, I did come across this Methodist Caucasian evangelist who came to talk to me at an MRT station. Forgot what he talked about.. something about my current religion and whether I believed in God. I can't remember what I said too, probably something along the lines of "I am not interested, please leave me alone". Funny thing was, I met the same guy a few months later and he approached me again, this time on an LRT while I was on my way home. I was a bit irritated, told him he had already approached me before and thankfully alighted at my stop.
Now that I think of it, it was really quite a coincidence. Or was it part of God's plans? Anyway, He probably decided that a guy will not do and brought another person into my life. I shall tread upon this very carefully.. Lets just call her Swsnbn or she-who-shall-not-be-named. haha.. S and I became good friends.. we went out and stuff la. Inevitably, the issue of religion cropped up. She was a Christian, I wasn't. I did not know what the fuss was. I could have just ended the whole thing and moved on but somehow, I didn't. I started to find out more about Christianity online. She also gave me this book called "Christianity for Dummies" haha.. I also bought "A Purpose-Driven Life" by Rick Warren. So slowly but surely, I was reading about Christianity. But everything was a blur then. There were a lot of Christian jargon I didn't understand. And many of the Christian ideas were very airy-fairy, they didn't sound like they were true. I was not sure whether I believed in them. It was also complicated by the fact that I was finding out about all these not so much for wanting to know God and about the faith.
Later on, a mutual friend invited me to a PUNJ evangelistic party at Novena, this place called Fishy Tales. This was in May 2004. There was a talk that day about Science and God. I readily agreed to be there. She probably didn't need to try very hard. Cos S will be there. That was the spark that set the fire burning even until now. Not so much for the contents of the talk. But for the fact that I was invited to join Just Looking bible studies at ARPC every Saturday and I was now drawn into a church and its activities even though I was still a non-Christian.
It felt weird at first being in a church. Never been inside one so I always thought it was like a Westernized temple. There will be people chanting inside, casting out demons and stuff.. It did not turn out that way. I also felt quite alone and out-of-place. MF (mutual friend haha..) and S attended some other bible study.. I did not see them at all in my first month in the church. I was left to survive on my own in "enemy territory". haha.. I really don't know what kept me going. Maybe it was the people in PUNJ. They were so friendly to me, I felt stressed. haha.. really! The Just Looking studies were a series of 7 lessons looking at who Jesus is and what he did through the bible. I attended all but the first lesson. It was not like I believed right away. Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins. I was like "Eh.. ok.." I had already read that online before I attended Just Looking. I was not really convinced. In fact at the back of my mind, I probably felt that it was crap. But slowly but surely, God was stripping away my defences and resistance layer by layer. I started to attend service by the 3rd or 4th lesson, just out of curiosity. And of cos, I thought S would be there. But 9 times out of 10, I didn't see her there.. By the 10th time, I probably attended service not because of that anymore.. haha.. Anyway, contrary to what I thought, there was no weird chanting or shouting. No special exorcism rites. No casting out of demons. The only weird thing to me then was prayers. I just bowed my head and listened to the person pray. Actually, it was nothing too. He was merely talking about some church stuff and thanking God for something. I liked the songs they sang. Though the lyrics made me feel uncomfortable at times. Then there was a sermon. Actually it was just a talk. I thought the pastor was rather interesting. So my first experience at a church service was not too bad. I even enjoyed it. I forgot what the sermon was about but I felt at peace when I walked out of the building.. To be continued..
I thought it will be a good start to this blog by telling you how I converted to Christianity. Along the way, I will share with you some of the things I went through after I believed. But this post will be mostly about the initial part when I was first exposed to the faith. I cannot avoid talking about certain people or my testimony might end up sounding like this: Somehow, through God's mercy, I stepped into Adam Road Presbyterian Centre (ARPC) one fine day, I found out more about the bible and another fine day, voila! I believed in Christ. But I shall not name people here (though some of you know who they are) and I will try to focus on the right things.
So here goes.. Testimony just means telling people how one became a Christian. Or a witnessing to how God came into their lives. Of course the best testimony is still God appearing and telling us who He is. More on that another day.
I was a non-Christian. Actually everyone is, even those people born in Christian families, contrary to what most people believe. So the point I want to make is that I came from a non-Christian family. My parents are traditional Taoist-Buddhists who pray to all kinds of deities and they also practise ancestral worship. I used to just follow what they are doing and as a kid, you basically monkey-see-monkey-do without believing in anything. As I grew older, I did question the purpose of doing all these and I came to the conclusion that they were just all part of tradition. I think in JC, I sort of decided that there is no God in this world. Religion is just something that Man came up with long long time ago to settle their spiritual needs. To me then, what you see is what you get (WYSIWYG). There is nothing beyond what can be explained by science. Big bang is how the world came about, if that is what the scientists claimed. Newsweek had a whole article on it with super profound theories and explanations. Science equals truth. Same goes for evolution. Another super profound article. Theories and evidence I cannot understand but I believed in them. I am opening up a huge can of worms here.. But that was as accurate as I can describe my feelings then. God? Where got (pun intended)? Show me and I will believe. Life after death? Come back and tell me after you die. Punishment as depicted in the eighteen levels of hell at Haw Par Villa? Scary? Yes if you want to frighten little kids.
Furthermore, I had very little contact with Christian people in sec school and JC. There were not many Christians in my extended family as well. The few Christians I know did not tell me anything about their faith and they seem just like anyone I know. But I did know about Christianity here and there.. My friends will tell me how their Christian friends will drag them to church. The "funny" things they do in there. And of course invariably the idea that Christians go to heaven and non-believers go to hell will ruffle a few feathers. To me then, it was utter rubbish. In the first place, do heaven and hell even exist?
Perhaps I shall explain about this before I carry on. "So we non-Christians will go to hell la?" I think at that point of time, when I ask that question, the motive was not really to clarify the point, or to find out about a certain fact. The answer to that question is as obvious to the Christian as it is to the non-Christian. The motive was merely to condemn the whole idea. And to make the Christian seem arrogant, unflexible and conservative. In the first place, some people don't even believe that hell exists when they ask that question. If you are already super convinced that Christianity is a pack of lies, then I don't even think it is a fair question to ask. But if you are curious about what Christianity is all about, then you got to take a step back and look at that question from another angle. Perhaps a fairer question will be "Why do Christians think they will go to heaven?" This, I will also eventually talk about.
Back to my testimony.. Eventually in uni, I did come across this Methodist Caucasian evangelist who came to talk to me at an MRT station. Forgot what he talked about.. something about my current religion and whether I believed in God. I can't remember what I said too, probably something along the lines of "I am not interested, please leave me alone". Funny thing was, I met the same guy a few months later and he approached me again, this time on an LRT while I was on my way home. I was a bit irritated, told him he had already approached me before and thankfully alighted at my stop.
Now that I think of it, it was really quite a coincidence. Or was it part of God's plans? Anyway, He probably decided that a guy will not do and brought another person into my life. I shall tread upon this very carefully.. Lets just call her Swsnbn or she-who-shall-not-be-named. haha.. S and I became good friends.. we went out and stuff la. Inevitably, the issue of religion cropped up. She was a Christian, I wasn't. I did not know what the fuss was. I could have just ended the whole thing and moved on but somehow, I didn't. I started to find out more about Christianity online. She also gave me this book called "Christianity for Dummies" haha.. I also bought "A Purpose-Driven Life" by Rick Warren. So slowly but surely, I was reading about Christianity. But everything was a blur then. There were a lot of Christian jargon I didn't understand. And many of the Christian ideas were very airy-fairy, they didn't sound like they were true. I was not sure whether I believed in them. It was also complicated by the fact that I was finding out about all these not so much for wanting to know God and about the faith.
Later on, a mutual friend invited me to a PUNJ evangelistic party at Novena, this place called Fishy Tales. This was in May 2004. There was a talk that day about Science and God. I readily agreed to be there. She probably didn't need to try very hard. Cos S will be there. That was the spark that set the fire burning even until now. Not so much for the contents of the talk. But for the fact that I was invited to join Just Looking bible studies at ARPC every Saturday and I was now drawn into a church and its activities even though I was still a non-Christian.
It felt weird at first being in a church. Never been inside one so I always thought it was like a Westernized temple. There will be people chanting inside, casting out demons and stuff.. It did not turn out that way. I also felt quite alone and out-of-place. MF (mutual friend haha..) and S attended some other bible study.. I did not see them at all in my first month in the church. I was left to survive on my own in "enemy territory". haha.. I really don't know what kept me going. Maybe it was the people in PUNJ. They were so friendly to me, I felt stressed. haha.. really! The Just Looking studies were a series of 7 lessons looking at who Jesus is and what he did through the bible. I attended all but the first lesson. It was not like I believed right away. Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins. I was like "Eh.. ok.." I had already read that online before I attended Just Looking. I was not really convinced. In fact at the back of my mind, I probably felt that it was crap. But slowly but surely, God was stripping away my defences and resistance layer by layer. I started to attend service by the 3rd or 4th lesson, just out of curiosity. And of cos, I thought S would be there. But 9 times out of 10, I didn't see her there.. By the 10th time, I probably attended service not because of that anymore.. haha.. Anyway, contrary to what I thought, there was no weird chanting or shouting. No special exorcism rites. No casting out of demons. The only weird thing to me then was prayers. I just bowed my head and listened to the person pray. Actually, it was nothing too. He was merely talking about some church stuff and thanking God for something. I liked the songs they sang. Though the lyrics made me feel uncomfortable at times. Then there was a sermon. Actually it was just a talk. I thought the pastor was rather interesting. So my first experience at a church service was not too bad. I even enjoyed it. I forgot what the sermon was about but I felt at peace when I walked out of the building.. To be continued..
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Renewed
Yup this is my new blog! Have been wanting to do this for some time but my comp ran into all sorts of problems. can't use hotmail and msn, then my monitor "turned pink" for whatever reason.
Anyway, was also thinking of how to start off this blog. And what sort of things I should talk about here. If you have read my sidebar, then yup, this blog will mostly be about Christianity. So you have been warned.. ha.. You have the choice of not continuing to read my blog too. Just hope that you don't pass any judgement on me or Christianity. But you are free to give me constructive feedback or ask me questions through my email.
Sidetrack.. Was thinking of the blog address too, and realised so many addresses i thought of have been taken up. So I ended up with claypotrice.. haha.. Actually I was thinking of something to do with jars of clay but jarsofclay has been taken up. So clay leads to claypotrice. So in other words, my blog address has no special meaning :)
I added a counter one month ago. Then i realised today that 35 people have read my new blog. But i haven't even linked my old blog to this current one. Neither have I told anyone about the new blog address. I am a bit puzzled haha..
Ok so back to the reason for starting this blog. It is simply to tell people about Christianity. People always talk about spreading the gospel. Actually gospel just means good news. So rather than spend my time babbling and rambling about my runs and medicine postings, I thought why not tell you about the gospel.
I know I have shared a bit about Christianity in my previous blog. But I felt it was rather haphazard. This blog will sort of consolidate all of my experiences and views and give you a better picture.
I feel that I am in a better position to share about Christianity now cos I have had a better understanding of the faith over these 2 years (or at least I hope so haha..). It was also not too long ago that I was a non-Christian so I still remember some of the struggles and misconceptions I had as a non-Christian.
I know some of you will be going: Why so serious? It is just a religion.. Why you become so holy? He must have been brainwashed.. Crazy fella.. So holier-than-thou.. Well, i can't address all of those but i will deal with some of those things in your minds in my posts. So if those views about me make you come back to my blog to find out why I am so serious and "holier-than-thou", I think I sort of achieved my purpose haha.. If not, it's fine with me.
At the very least, I hope you read this with an open mind. I am not forcing it down your throats and have never intended to. In fact, I am very apprehensive about sharing this online. I am not required to do this too. I won't be punished for not sharing the gospel. I won't be given extra cookie points for doing so. I just felt it important enough to tell you about it. More important than anything else in the world, in my opinion. And I just feel it is much easier to blog about it than talk to you about it. After all, if you haven't realised, I have not been blessed with the gift of the gab. Hopefully, the pen or rather, the keyboard will do the trick..
I am quite glad if you have followed me all the way to this line haha.. And you might as well read the next few posts :)
Anyway, was also thinking of how to start off this blog. And what sort of things I should talk about here. If you have read my sidebar, then yup, this blog will mostly be about Christianity. So you have been warned.. ha.. You have the choice of not continuing to read my blog too. Just hope that you don't pass any judgement on me or Christianity. But you are free to give me constructive feedback or ask me questions through my email.
Sidetrack.. Was thinking of the blog address too, and realised so many addresses i thought of have been taken up. So I ended up with claypotrice.. haha.. Actually I was thinking of something to do with jars of clay but jarsofclay has been taken up. So clay leads to claypotrice. So in other words, my blog address has no special meaning :)
I added a counter one month ago. Then i realised today that 35 people have read my new blog. But i haven't even linked my old blog to this current one. Neither have I told anyone about the new blog address. I am a bit puzzled haha..
Ok so back to the reason for starting this blog. It is simply to tell people about Christianity. People always talk about spreading the gospel. Actually gospel just means good news. So rather than spend my time babbling and rambling about my runs and medicine postings, I thought why not tell you about the gospel.
I know I have shared a bit about Christianity in my previous blog. But I felt it was rather haphazard. This blog will sort of consolidate all of my experiences and views and give you a better picture.
I feel that I am in a better position to share about Christianity now cos I have had a better understanding of the faith over these 2 years (or at least I hope so haha..). It was also not too long ago that I was a non-Christian so I still remember some of the struggles and misconceptions I had as a non-Christian.
I know some of you will be going: Why so serious? It is just a religion.. Why you become so holy? He must have been brainwashed.. Crazy fella.. So holier-than-thou.. Well, i can't address all of those but i will deal with some of those things in your minds in my posts. So if those views about me make you come back to my blog to find out why I am so serious and "holier-than-thou", I think I sort of achieved my purpose haha.. If not, it's fine with me.
At the very least, I hope you read this with an open mind. I am not forcing it down your throats and have never intended to. In fact, I am very apprehensive about sharing this online. I am not required to do this too. I won't be punished for not sharing the gospel. I won't be given extra cookie points for doing so. I just felt it important enough to tell you about it. More important than anything else in the world, in my opinion. And I just feel it is much easier to blog about it than talk to you about it. After all, if you haven't realised, I have not been blessed with the gift of the gab. Hopefully, the pen or rather, the keyboard will do the trick..
I am quite glad if you have followed me all the way to this line haha.. And you might as well read the next few posts :)
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