2006/2007

It's the last day of 2006! (or rather the first day of 2007 since I din manage to complete typing this post last year)

Actually it's just another day in the calendar, just like birthdays or other holidays.. I guess it just gives us a reason to celebrate. And it does give us a reason to reflect upon the year that has passed.

Is it a good year for me? Well.. I can say that it has been generally good. I think I have grown spiritually over the year.. I think I am a more mature person. Good things happened.. I got closer to some friends.. I definitely am more active in PUNJ. And the fellowship in PUNJ has helped me a great deal in many ways.. I felt that I was not alone in my Christian walk. I learned much more about God's word. I learned to be obedient to God.

In med school, I think I am much more settled this year compared to the last.. I am a bit more comfortable with talking to patients and presenting cases to doctors.. I am a bit more "on the ball" about medicine on the whole.. In terms of reading up, in terms of clerking patients and attending clinics. I guess I still lag behind many of my peers in terms of enthusiasm for my studies and my career. To me, it is still very much about passing tests and getting through every posting smoothly and ultimately passing my final MBBS. Truthfully, I haven't given much thought to what comes after.. I told many people that I am content just being a polyclinic doctor. But I know very well that I have to be more driven.. Not to be content with just being a polyclinic doctor.. But really to work hard towards being a good doctor, be it in general practice, be it surgery, be it obs and gynae.. So perhaps, you can pray for me about this. And to give glory to God in whatever field of medicine I end up in.. And yes including ophthalmology.. =P

And yah I do need to settle my electives soon.. Still feeling a lot of inertia. Perhaps I will fail O&G and don't have to worry about electives.. haha.. See? You do have to pray for me to work hard and be more "on the ball"!

Relationships wise.. I guess I do have to work a bit harder too.. I need to love my parents more.. show them more concern.. be a more filial son.. Sometimes, I do take them for granted and overlook the numerous sacrifices they have made to see me through med school.. I guess I would have liked to grow up in a more conducive environment.. But I can't choose such things.. I can't determine the upbringing of my parents. I can't really criticise the way they have brought me up.. Cos I turned out fine! Hahaha!! But seriously, I do need to work on my relationship with my parents, cos at times, it's really hard to love them.. So pray for me too!

In recent months, I think I may have soured a few friendships.. But hopefully there were no hard feelings.. I always thought I am quite a patient person, tolerant and easy-going.. I guess this year, God reminded me that I was not as good as I thought myself to be.. That I still have a lot to learn, to obey him, to be a better person.. Sometimes, I tend to judge other people.. I become disappointed.. I become frustrated and angry.. And I become angry with myself too.. Cos I know it is wrong to judge other people.. I am not that good myself.. Who am I to judge them? Yah, so I do need to calm down at times.. I need to be less self-righteous.. And humble myself before God..

In terms of a dating relationship.. Am I allowed to talk about it here? I guess it is something which will continue to bother me for some time.. In this area, I will just say that it has been a steep learning curve for me.. At least, I am starting to think about what a Christian relationship should be like.. And what the aim of a relationship should be.. I think what differentiates a Christian r/s from a non-Christian one is that the ultimate and underlying aim is to honour God.. I guess with that in mind, what constitutes a successful or a failed relationship becomes slightly different.. Whether or not it results in a steady relationship or marriage becomes of second importance to wanting to honour God and to serve Him regardless of the outcome of the relationship. Is that too challenging? Ha.. I do find it rather challenging..

Having witnessed the wedding of HL and LC, I really think it takes a lot for a couple to come together.. And it is no less than God's love and God's will that 2 persons of different backgrounds, personalities and habits will come to like each other, to work out their differences and finally to decide to spend the rest of their earthly lives together.

For myself, I really wonder what God's will for me is.. Sometimes, I feel that perhaps I could serve God better as a single person.. But I don't know.. I really need to trust God more in this area of my life and not allow myself to be overly distracted from other equally important (I won't say more important cos I think this is rather important too.. heh..) things in my life. But I know that whether or not I remain single or get married in future, the aim is still to serve God and to worship Him..

Well, 2006 ended on a fun note! I learned 2 things today!
1. I learned what a HIP HOP JELLY ice-cream is.. It's super cool la.. It's wobbly.. and I think the name suits it.. It's cool and hip-hop haha! But I found out that the ice-cream had already been in the market for some time.. Even my mum knows.. She calls it the she tou (tongue) ice-cream.. I guess it does look like a tongue from certain angles.. I probably will be eating the she tou/hip hop jelly quite frequently this year haha!

2. I learned how to roller blade!! In 1 hour flat.. I am a fast learner! Have been wanting to learn rollerblading for some time, but always paiseh to ask people to teach me.. Supposed to play frisbee in the morning with the PUNJers today, but too few people turned up, so we ended up cycling and blading.. Blading is fun! Heh.. Just that I still do not know how to go down slope safely and to stop safely..

I think learning to rollerblade or to cycle is a lot like life isn't it? I know this sounds cliched but while I was blading, I really felt that it reflects life in some ways.. Well, when you rollerblade, if you are overly cautious, you can't move very much forward.. You can't move very fast either.. Of course, if you are too ambitious like me.. You learn it the hard way la.. You keep falling and bruising yourself.. But that's how we learn right? We fall and get up. Fall and get up.. After a while you get used to falling.. And after a while you get used to not falling.. And you will be blading.

I guess I need to practise that in 2007.. Rollerblading.. And learning to fall in life.. Every year we will set new year resolutions like I will be a better person, that things will occur smoothly.. stuff like that. But we forget that failures are part and parcel of life! Year in, year out, we will encounter setbacks.. So this year, I want to learn how to fall.. And to learn to get up..

I want to trust God and obey Him..

So take my life,
transform, renew and change me.
That I might be a living sacrifice.

Happy 2007, Guys! =)